- Remember you are known by the idiot¹ you accompany.
- Don't imagine that you can change a man unless he is in diapers.
- What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
- So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.
- If they put a man on the moon - why can't they put them all there?
- Tell him you are not his type - you have a pulse.
- Never let your mans mind wander - it is too little to be let out alone.
- Go for younger men - you might as well, they never mature anyway.
- Men are all the same - they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
- Definition² of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable³.
- Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the Do It Yourself types.
- The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest that they are too old for it.
- Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
- If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
- A mans idea of serious commitment⁴ is usually 'oh alright, I'll stay the night.'
- Sadly, all men are created equal.
- Remember that a sense of humor⁵ does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
- The main point of having a boyfriend is so that he can one day graduate to the exalted⁶ status of 'former boyfriend.'
- There are lots of words to describe men - strong, caring, loving -they'd be wrong but you can still use them.

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