You know yours is a Red Neck Church if:

Upon learning that Jesus fed the 5000, the men want to
know whether the two fish were bass¹ or catfish², and what
bait was used to catch 'em.

The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the
purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows
how to play one.

The pastor³ says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up
the offering." Then five guys and two women stand up.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official
church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his
4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole
it couldn't get out of."

The choir⁴ is known as the "OK Chorale."

In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven
last names in the church directory.

Baptism is referred to as "Branding."

There is a special bake sale to raise funds for a new church
septic tank.

High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

The baptismal is a #2 galvanized wash tub.

The choir robes were donated by Billy Bob's Bar-B-Q, and are
embroidered⁵ with his logo.

The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.