A farmer bought some breeding pigs, but after several weeks, not one was pregnant. He called the vet¹ for help. "Why don't you try artificial insemination" said the vet.

The farmer didn't have an inkling of what artificial insemination was, but, not wanting to appear ignorant, he said, "Okay, Doc, but how will I know when the pigs are pregnant?"

"Easy. When they lie down and wallow in the mud." The farmer hung up and came to the conclusion that artificial insemination must mean that he has to impregnate those pigs himself.

So he loaded them onto his truck, drove them out into the woods, had sex with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and then went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs.

Since they were all still standing² around, he concluded that his first attempt didn't take, so he loaded them into the truck again, drove them into the woods, had sex with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs. They are still just standing around.

"Once more," he told himself, and loaded them onto the truck, drove them into the woods, had sex with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed. The next morning, he can't even lift himself off the bed. He asked his wife to see if the pigs are wallowing in the mud yet.

"Nope," she said. "They're all in the back of the truck and one of them is honking³ the horn!"