Oil change checklist_愚人笑话

Oil change checklist

文章来源：文章作者：发布时间：2008-06-11 03:24 字体： [大中小]　进入论坛

(单词翻译:双击或拖选)

1. Go to O'Reillys auto¹ parts and write a check for $50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented² tree.

2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.

3. Open a beer and drink it.

4. Jack³ car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6. In frustration⁴, open another beer and drink it.

7. Place drain pan under engine.

8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench⁵.

9. Give up and use crescent wrench.

10. Unscrew drain plug.

11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.

12. Clean up.

13. Have another beer while oil is draining.

14. Look for oil filter wrench.

15. Give up; poke⁶ oil filter with screwdriver⁷ and twist it off.

16. Beer.

17. Buddy⁸ shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.

18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath⁹ car.

19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.

20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.

21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.

22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to gasket first.

23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

24. Remember drain plug from step 11.

25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains onto floor.

27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles¹¹ on frame.

28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.

29. Begin a cussing fit.

30. Throw wrench.

31. Cuss and complain.

32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle¹⁰.

33. Beer.

34. Beer.

35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.

36. Beer.

37. Lower car from jack stands

38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands

39. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 23.

40. Test drive car

41. Get pulled over; arrested for driving under the influence.

42. Car gets impounded.

43. Make bail¹²; get car from impound yard.

Money Spent:

$50 parts

$12 beer

$75 replacement¹³ set of jack stands; hey the colors have to match!

$1000 Bail

$200 Impound and towing fee

Total: $1337

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收听单词发音

1 auto
n.(=automobile)(口语)汽车
参考例句：
Don't park your auto here.别把你的汽车停在这儿。 The auto industry has brought many people to Detroit.汽车工业把许多人吸引到了底特律。

2 scented
adj.有香味的；洒香水的；有气味的v.嗅到(scent的过去分词)
参考例句：
I let my lungs fill with the scented air. 我呼吸着芬芳的空气。来自《简明英汉词典》 The police dog scented about till he found the trail. 警犬嗅来嗅去，终于找到了踪迹。来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

3 jack
n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克
参考例句：
I am looking for the headphone jack.我正在找寻头戴式耳机插孔。 He lifted the car with a jack to change the flat tyre.他用千斤顶把车顶起来换下瘪轮胎。

4 frustration
n.挫折，失败，失效，落空
参考例句：
He had to fight back tears of frustration.他不得不强忍住失意的泪水。 He beat his hands on the steering wheel in frustration.他沮丧地用手打了几下方向盘。

5 wrench
v.猛拧；挣脱；使扭伤；n.扳手；痛苦，难受
参考例句：
He gave a wrench to his ankle when he jumped down.他跳下去的时候扭伤了足踝。 It was a wrench to leave the old home.离开这个老家非常痛苦。

6 poke
n.刺，戳，袋；vt.拨开，刺，戳；vi.戳，刺，捅，搜索，伸出，行动散慢
参考例句：
We never thought she would poke her nose into this.想不到她会插上一手。 Don't poke fun at me.别拿我凑趣儿。

7 screwdriver
n.螺丝起子；伏特加橙汁鸡尾酒
参考例句：
He took a screwdriver and teased out the remaining screws.他拿出螺丝刀把其余的螺丝卸了下来。 The electric drill can also be used as a screwdriver.这把电钻也可用作螺丝刀。

8 buddy
n.（美口）密友，伙伴
参考例句：
Calm down,buddy.What's the trouble?压压气，老兄。有什么麻烦吗？ Get out of my way,buddy!别挡道了，你这家伙！

9 underneath
adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面
参考例句：
Working underneath the car is always a messy job.在汽车底下工作是件脏活。 She wore a coat with a dress underneath.她穿着一件大衣，里面套着一条连衣裙。

10 knuckle
n.指节；vi.开始努力工作；屈服，认输
参考例句：
They refused to knuckle under to any pressure.他们拒不屈从任何压力。 You'll really have to knuckle down if you want to pass the examination.如果想通过考试，你确实应专心学习。

11 knuckles
n.（指人）指关节( knuckle的名词复数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝v.（指人）指关节( knuckle的第三人称单数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝
参考例句：
He gripped the wheel until his knuckles whitened. 他紧紧握住方向盘，握得指关节都变白了。 Her thin hands were twisted by swollen knuckles. 她那双纤手因肿大的指关节而变了形。来自《简明英汉词典》

12 bail
v.舀（水），保释；n.保证金，保释，保释人
参考例句：
One of the prisoner's friends offered to bail him out.犯人的一个朋友答应保释他出来。 She has been granted conditional bail.她被准予有条件保释。

13 replacement
n.取代，替换，交换；替代品，代用品
参考例句：
We are hard put to find a replacement for our assistant.我们很难找到一个人来代替我们的助手。 They put all the students through the replacement examination.他们让所有的学生参加分班考试。

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