Joke: AOL Messages_愚人笑话

Joke: AOL Messages

文章来源：文章作者：发布时间：2007-01-13 06:58 字体： [大中小]　进入论坛

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Since AOL has introduce there unlimited¹ hours package they have started displaying special messages to customers.

1. You have been on-line for 46 minutes. Do you want to stay on-line? Please respond within 10 minutes, or you will be logged off.

2. You have been on-line 135 minutes. Not to put any pressure on you, but there are OTHER people in the world who would like to sign on. Let's show some consideration for our fellow members and sign off, WHADDYA SAY?

3. You DO realize that you have been on-line for 180 minutes, right? When was the last time you went outside?

4. OK, this is getting ridiculous. Frankly², you're starting to upset us! If you sign off now, we'll bring back your buddy³ list, OK?

5. You have been on-line for 360 minutes now! We promised you unlimited time, we know, but can't you just finish up and go read a good book?!

6. You have been on-line for 467 minutes. Do you remember your family members names?

7. You have been on-line for 513 minutes. Your spouse⁴ has left and your dog is starving. Do you wish to remain on-line?

8. You have been on-line for 724 minutes. Steve Case is coming personally to your house to yank the phone cord!

9. You have been on-line for 852 minutes. Do you KNOW how many hours that is?

10. You have been on-line for 921 minutes. Do you realize that AOL averages 921 complaints per hour about busy phone lines? Do you realize that AOL receives 9.21 lawsuits⁶ per day, due to busy phone lines? PLEASE sign-off, to reduce these averages, or go to KEYWORD: Class Action to join a lawsuit⁵.

11. You have been on-line for 967 minutes. When AOL went unlimited, they didn't think you would take it LITERALLY⁷! So get OFF, before we go broke!

12. You have been on-line for 1013 minutes. This is Steve Case, I need to sign-on myself and answer some mail. Could you PLEASE sign-off?

13. You have been on-line for 1105 minutes. Are you and your family chatting in shifts? GEEZE get off already!

14. You have been on-line 1151 minutes. WELCOME TO THE TEAM... See job application enclosed!

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收听单词发音

1 unlimited
adj.无限的，不受控制的，无条件的
参考例句：
They flew over the unlimited reaches of the Arctic.他们飞过了茫茫无边的北极上空。 There is no safety in unlimited technological hubris.在技术方面自以为是会很危险。

2 frankly
adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说
参考例句：
To speak frankly, I don't like the idea at all.老实说，我一点也不赞成这个主意。 Frankly speaking, I'm not opposed to reform.坦率地说，我不反对改革。

3 buddy
n.（美口）密友，伙伴
参考例句：
Calm down,buddy.What's the trouble?压压气，老兄。有什么麻烦吗？ Get out of my way,buddy!别挡道了，你这家伙！

4 spouse
n.配偶(指夫或妻)
参考例句：
Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要来看她。 What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法是什么？

5 lawsuit
n.诉讼，控诉
参考例句：
They threatened him with a lawsuit.他们以诉讼威逼他。 He was perpetually involving himself in this long lawsuit.他使自己无休止地卷入这场长时间的诉讼。

6 lawsuits
n.诉讼( lawsuit的名词复数 )
参考例句：
Lawsuits involving property rights and farming and grazing rights increased markedly. 涉及财产权，耕作与放牧权的诉讼案件显著地增加。来自辞典例句 I've lost and won more lawsuits than any man in England. 全英国的人算我官司打得最多，赢的也多，输的也多。来自辞典例句

7 literally
adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实
参考例句：
He translated the passage literally.他逐字逐句地翻译这段文字。 Sometimes she would not sit down till she was literally faint.有时候，她不走到真正要昏厥了，决不肯坐下来。

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