Joke: Clinton Jokes
文章来源: 文章作者: 发布时间:2007-01-25 06:05 字体: [ ]  进入论坛
(单词翻译:双击或拖选)
Q. If Clinton gets impeached1 he will be the first president to....
A. Get blowed out of office.

Q. Do you know what the FBI discovered the stains on Monica's dress actually were?
A. A wad of Bill's.

Q. What's Clintons new nick name?
A. Drippy Dick

Q. What did the Chinese Premier2 say to Clinton as he boarded Air Force One to leave China?
A. Rotsa Ruck on your next erection!

Q. Clinton has recommended to the Olympic Committee a new event exclusively for US Presidents and
A. Sportscasters: Broad Jumping.

Q. What did Hillary Clinton change her name to?
A. Sharon Peters

Q. What is Bill Clinton's favorite slogan?
A. Give me liberty or give me head!

Q. What does Monica Lewinsky have on her Resume?
A. Sat on the Presidential Staff

Q. What's the new press name for the latest Presidential scandal?
A. Fornigate.

Q. What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole3 have in common?
A. They were both upset when Bill finished first.

Q. What is Bill's definition of safe sex?
A. When Hillary is out of town.

Q. What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic4?
A. Only 200 women went down on the Titanic.

Q. How does Bill keep Monica Lewinsky away from the White House?
A. He keeps offering to send Ted5 Kennedy over to give her a ride.

Q. What does Bill say to Hillary after a romantic interlude?
A. Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes.

Q. Why does Bill Clinton cheat on Hillary?
A. He wants to be on top.

Q. How did Bill Clinton paralyze Hillary from the waist down?
A. He married her.

Q. How many women does it take to satisfy Bill Clinton's sexual appetite?
A. It Takes A Village

Q. When did Clinton realize Paula Jones wasn't a Democrat6?
A. When she didn't swallow everything he presented.

Q. What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a gigolo?
A. A gigolo can only screw one person at a time.

Q. What's the definition of an Arkansas Virgin7?
A. A girl that can run faster than the Governor.

Q. What game did Bill Clinton want Paula Jones to play?
A. Swallow the leader

Q. Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East?
A. He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar.

Q. What's the difference between the Secret Service and Janet Reno?
A. There are some things the Secret Service won't do to protect the President.

Q. Did you hear Clinton is declaring a new National Bird?
A. The Spread Eagle

Q. Whats Lewinsky's favorite bird?
A. The swallow

Q. How many White House Interns9 does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None, they are to busy screwing the President.

Q. Why did Clinton cross the road?
A. To get to the intern8 on the other side, of course

Q. Why did the intern cross the road?
A. To get to the BOOK CONTRACT she needed to sign on the other side

Q. What was Lewinsky's position at the white house?
A. 1.Head Intern
A. 2.Under Secretary
A. 3.Missionary

Q. What is Lewinsky's code name in the FBI?
A. Deep Throat

Q. What is Clinton's favorite toy?
A. An Erector Set

Q. What is Clinton's favorite card game?
A. Poker

Q. What is Clinton's favorite food?
A. The Cumquat

Q. What is Clinton's favorite T.V. Show?
A. Leave it to Beaver

Q. What's Clinton's favorite song?
A. Grooving

Q. What's Bill Clinton's favorite brand of potato chips?
A. Lays

Q. What is Clinton's Favorite Presidential Act?
A. Edict

Q. What office equipment has been distributed to all white house secretaries?
A. The Dick-taphone


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 impeached 13b912bb179971fca2f006fab8f6dbb8     
v.控告(某人)犯罪( impeach的过去式和过去分词 );弹劾;对(某事物)怀疑;提出异议
参考例句:
  • Elected officials can be impeached. 经过选举产生的官员可以被弹劾。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The judge was impeached for taking a bribe. 这个法官被检举接受贿赂。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
2 premier R19z3     
adj.首要的;n.总理,首相
参考例句:
  • The Irish Premier is paying an official visit to Britain.爱尔兰总理正在对英国进行正式访问。
  • He requested that the premier grant him an internview.他要求那位总理接见他一次。
3 dole xkNzm     
n.救济,(失业)救济金;vt.(out)发放,发给
参考例句:
  • It's not easy living on the dole.靠领取失业救济金生活并不容易。
  • Many families are living on the dole since the strike.罢工以来,许多家庭靠失业救济金度日。
4 titanic NoJwR     
adj.巨人的,庞大的,强大的
参考例句:
  • We have been making titanic effort to achieve our purpose.我们一直在作极大的努力,以达到我们的目的。
  • The island was created by titanic powers and they are still at work today.台湾岛是由一个至今仍然在运作的巨大力量塑造出来的。
5 ted 9gazhs     
vt.翻晒,撒,撒开
参考例句:
  • The invaders gut ted the village.侵略者把村中财物洗劫一空。
  • She often teds the corn when it's sunny.天好的时候她就翻晒玉米。
6 democrat Xmkzf     
n.民主主义者,民主人士;民主党党员
参考例句:
  • The Democrat and the Public criticized each other.民主党人和共和党人互相攻击。
  • About two years later,he was defeated by Democrat Jimmy Carter.大约两年后,他被民主党人杰米卡特击败。
7 virgin phPwj     
n.处女,未婚女子;adj.未经使用的;未经开发的
参考例句:
  • Have you ever been to a virgin forest?你去过原始森林吗?
  • There are vast expanses of virgin land in the remote regions.在边远地区有大片大片未开垦的土地。
8 intern 25BxJ     
v.拘禁,软禁;n.实习生
参考例句:
  • I worked as an intern in that firm last summer.去年夏天我在那家商行实习。
  • The intern bandaged the cut as the nurse looked on.这位实习生在护士的照看下给病人包扎伤口。
9 interns b9fd94f8bf381b49802b6b686cb9d5ac     
n.住院实习医生( intern的名词复数 )v.拘留,关押( intern的第三人称单数 )
参考例句:
  • Our interns also greet our guests when they arrive in our studios. 我们的实习生也会在嘉宾抵达演播室的时候向他们致以问候。 来自超越目标英语 第4册
  • The interns work alongside experienced civil engineers and receive training in the different work sectors. 实习生陪同有经验的国内工程师工作,接受不同工作部门的相关培训。 来自超越目标英语 第4册
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