...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic¹ Wins Lottery"?

...why "abbreviated²" is such a long word?

...why doctors call what they do "practice"?

...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?

...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker³?

...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?

...who tastes dog food when it has a "new and improved" flavor?

...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

...why they sterilize⁵ the needle for lethal⁶ injections?

...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?

...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

...if con⁷ is the opposite of pro⁴, is Congress the opposite of progress?

...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

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