Joke: Tech Support for Husband 1.0_愚人笑话

Joke: Tech Support for Husband 1.0

文章来源：文章作者：发布时间：2007-02-03 00:41 字体： [大中小]　进入论坛

(单词翻译:双击或拖选)

To: Tech Support

To whom it may concern,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting¹ software; severely² limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry³ applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable⁴ programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4, and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging⁵ 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!!!

Signed, Jane

Dear Jane:

This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible. Further, you cannot purge⁶ Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate⁷ Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.

Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly⁸. After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded⁹ features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6. I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to fully¹⁰ enjoy this product!

Sincerely,
Tech Support

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收听单词发音

1 accounting
n.会计，会计学，借贷对照表
参考例句：
A job fell vacant in the accounting department.财会部出现了一个空缺。 There's an accounting error in this entry.这笔账目里有差错。

2 severely
adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地
参考例句：
He was severely criticized and removed from his post.他受到了严厉的批评并且被撤了职。 He is severely put down for his careless work.他因工作上的粗心大意而受到了严厉的批评。

3 jewelry
n.（jewllery）（总称）珠宝
参考例句：
The burglars walked off with all my jewelry.夜盗偷走了我的全部珠宝。 Jewelry and lace are mostly feminine belongings.珠宝和花边多数是女性用品。

4 undesirable
adj.不受欢迎的，不良的，不合意的，讨厌的；n.不受欢迎的人，不良分子
参考例句：
They are the undesirable elements among the employees.他们是雇员中的不良分子。 Certain chemicals can induce undesirable changes in the nervous system.有些化学物质能在神经系统中引起不良变化。

5 nagging
adj.唠叨的，挑剔的；使人不得安宁的v.不断地挑剔或批评（某人）( nag的现在分词 )；不断地烦扰或伤害（某人）；无休止地抱怨；不断指责
参考例句：
Stop nagging—I'll do it as soon as I can. 别唠叨了—我会尽快做的。 I've got a nagging pain in my lower back. 我后背下方老是疼。来自《简明英汉词典》

6 purge
n.整肃，清除，泻药，净化；vt.净化，清除，摆脱；vi.清除，通便，腹泻，变得清洁
参考例句：
The new president carried out a purge of disloyal army officers.新总统对不忠诚的军官进行了清洗。 The mayoral candidate has promised to purge the police department.市长候选人答应清洗警察部门。

7 emulate
v.努力赶上或超越，与…竞争；效仿
参考例句：
You must work hard to emulate your sister.你必须努力工作，赶上你姐姐。 You must look at the film and try to emulate his behavior.你们必须观看这部电影，并尽力模仿他的动作。

8 smoothly
adv.平滑地，顺利地，流利地，流畅地
参考例句：
The workmen are very cooperative,so the work goes on smoothly.工人们十分合作，所以工作进展顺利。 Just change one or two words and the sentence will read smoothly.这句话只要动一两个字就顺了。

9 embedded
a.扎牢的
参考例句：
an operation to remove glass that was embedded in his leg 取出扎入他腿部玻璃的手术 He has embedded his name in the minds of millions of people. 他的名字铭刻在数百万人民心中。

10 fully
adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地
参考例句：
The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气，然后全部呼出。 They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。

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