A man and woman were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor¹.

"Happy Anniversary² Mom and Dad," gushed³ son number one... "Sorry I'm running late... had an emergency, you know how it is, didn't have time to get you both a present."

Not to worry," said the dad..."the important thing is that we're all here together today."

Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom still look great, Dad. Just flew in from L.A. and didn't have time to get you a present... Sorry."

It's nothing," said the father, "Glad you were able to be here."

Just then the daughter arrived, "Hello both of you, Happy Anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing... so I didn't have time to get you guys anything."

Again the father said, "I really don't care, at least the five of us are together today."

After they had all finished dessert, the father put down his knife and fork, looked up and said, "Listen up, all three of you, there's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time.

You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to raise each of you and send you to college.

All through the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much but... we just never found the time to get married."

The three kids gasp⁴ and said, "You mean we're bastards⁵?"

"Yep," said the dad..."and cheap ones too!"