A man approaching retirement¹ went along to see the company doctor for one final checkup.

To his horror the doctor said, "I don't know quite how to put this, but your heart is on its last legs and you have only got six months to live."

"Is there nothing I can do?" asked the shocked man.

"Well," said the doctor, "you can give up alcohol, and cut out smoking. Don't eat rich foods, no dancing, and don't even think about having sex!"

"And this will make me live longer?" the man asked hopefully.

"No," replied the doctor, "it will just seem longer!"