Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head.

They all line up, the whistle blows and "splash¹" they're all in the pool

The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly² but the guy with no legs is closing fast. The head of course sank straight to the bottom.

Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first. He can still see bubbles³ coming from the bottom of the pool,so he decides he had better dive down to rescue him.

He picks up the head, swims back up to the surface and places the head at the side of the pool, where-upon the head starts coughing and spluttering.

Eventually the head catches his breath and shouts... "Three years I've spent learning⁴ to swim with my f#cking ears, then two minutes before the whistle, some asshole puts a swimming cap on me!"