中华民族是一个崇尚"礼尚往来"的民族。拜访长者，我们可以带去一些营养品；给新婚夫妇包红包，一句关系亲疏里面有几十元至几千元现金......有时送礼花太多钱是犯忌的，也有时候"一点儿小意思"又不够，但不论接收礼物的人是谁，在什么场合下送礼，多花些时间仔细挑选礼物都是不枉费的。

一个适当的礼物，如果送的方法不对，也可能让你惹上麻烦。了解不同文化的送礼礼节是很重要的。在下面的对话里，一个初来中国的外国朋友在送礼上就碰到了点"小麻烦。

A: This is the first time I've been in China, and everything here fascinated¹ me. But there is something I can never figure out!

B: What's wrong? Did anything puzzle you, speak it up and see if I can help you out.

A: Good! You turn up so timely²! I am just expecting some good explanation. You know the other day one of my Chinese friends was celebrating his birthday so I asked him what he would like for a birthday present. Do you know what he said? "No, no! Don't give me anything. Don't be polite!" can you believe it?

B: Actually, I can well believe it. It's a Chinese way of expressing his being humble³ and reserved. But most often the speaker doesn't really mean refusal⁴ unless he firmly insists. Chinese people don't easily accept the given things only when he has contributed to the giver or there is an intimacy⁵. And they don't want their friends "pofei" which means to spend money.

A: What did he mean by refusing to accept a present from me then?

B: I don't think he was actually refusing to accept a present from you. It was just his way of being "polite". He didn't mean to be rude and certainly he didn't mean to offend⁶ you.

A: Well, how do you like that? And what was I supposed to do or say in such a situation?

B: You should first understand that Chinese people are not straightforward⁷ in some situation. In such a situation I suggest you just insist, and if your friend is an elderly gentleman, you probably have to insist several times, but even then I doubt if he will ever give you a direct answer. Or you can buy him a gift directly without asking him. I think he will be satisfied with whatever you buy him. Actually what counts is your good intention.

A: So you mean buying a gift is a good choice than not, right?

B: I think so.

A: Thank you.

Notes:

1. figure out. A说中国的一切都让她感到fascinated, 感到着迷，唯独有一件事情他想不通，他说But there is something I can never figure out!

Figure out, 想明白，弄清楚。它的英文解释是这样的：find the solution to (a problem or question) or understand the meaning of

我们来看更多的例句：

e.g: It didn't take the children long to figure out the correct answer.
孩子们没有花很多时间就算出了正确的答案。

2. help you out. B很关切地询问了对方碰上什么解不开了困惑了，要对方说出来看看我能不能帮你。Speak it up and see if I can help you out.

Help sb out 是帮助解决难题(帮助摆脱困境,帮助完成,救出)也就是help sb in a particular situation of need.

e.g: He refused to accept help out of a false sense of pride.
他由于死要面子而不肯接受帮助。　

3. A 紧接着说了，You turn up so timely. 太好了，你简直出现得太及时了。我正想找人给我好好解释一下呢。I am just expecting some good explanation.

4. It's a Chinese way of expressing his being humble and reserved. B听完了让A大惑不解的问题之后，劝他不要放在心上，因为这只是中国式的客气和矜持。通常情况下，一个人说"不要送礼，千万别送礼"并不是真的表示拒绝，除非他坚持不要，firmly insist not taking anything,

中国人一般给人帮过忙或者是关系亲密的朋友之间才接受馈赠，unless he has contributed to the giver or there's an intimacy. 他们不想让朋友们破费，也就是spend money on buying the gift. 花钱。Humble 谦卑的，谦恭的reserved 文静，矜持，保守的。这是形容人的性格，它的字面意思是预定的，预留的。预定座位是reserve a seat.

5. A的疑惑澄清了，他问道what was I supposed to do or say in such a situation. 那么碰上这种情况我该怎么做呢？be supposed to do something是：该怎么做

e.g: I'm supposed to go on a diet.
我应该节食。

6. Actually what counts is your good intention. B跟A说， You should first understand that Chinese people are not straightforward in some situation. 首先要明白的是中国人在有些情况下并不是很直接的，在这种情况下你必须一再坚持，just insist，如果对方是为老先生，你还得多次坚持，you probably would have to insist several times. 或者直接买好礼物而不必问他，朋友们肯定会高兴的，毕竟重要的是你的一份心意。到了我们要讲的这句话，Actually what counts is your good intention. Count 在这里可不是计算或者数数的意思，我们再来看一句话：

e.g: Knowledge without common sense counts for little.
光有学问而无常识，则这种学问无甚价值。

看来，文化的差异真不可以小看，不知道有没有收听我们节目的外国朋友们碰到过和对话中这位朋友一样的困惑。听说在俄罗斯，送礼是突发其想。俄罗斯人也喜欢礼尚往来，通常礼物都是小巧而不贵的，对于外国人，俄罗斯人特别喜欢得到在自己国家没有办法得到而实用的东西，他们会喜欢马铃薯削皮器，保鲜膜和可密封的塑料袋。由于礼物通常小巧而且送礼随意，礼物通常也没有包装。而在日本，他们会特别注重包装，还会根据复杂的习俗来选择包装纸的颜色和种类，习俗甚至会指示包装纸图案的方向。接受礼物也要以双手奉上，代表尊敬和谦卑。

如果你在各地旅行，别让送礼的习俗绊倒你，找出你即将拜访国家的送礼的相关习俗，用正确的方法送合适的礼物，对巩固新的友谊很有帮助！