I love meeting new people, even if it makes me a little nervous. But one set of words that I hear at mixers and networking events makes me really want to run for the hills. You may have uttered¹ these words. And I want to share some alternatives with you, so that you’ll make more connections, rather than having people dash off.

我喜欢认识新朋友，即便这会让我感到有些紧张。但从交友活动中听到的一些话让我真想逃之夭夭。你也许会说出这些话。我希望和你分享一些别的说法，这样你会交到更多的朋友而不是让人们对你避之不及。

Last night, I attended a fun networking event in Berkeley, full of people who are on LinkedIn. The event was hosted by Ilene Koehler, who set us up in speed-dating fashion, to mix and mingle² for five minutes per “couple,” and then move on. I noticed that three of the people I met immediately introduced themselves by saying something like this:

昨天晚上，我在伯克利参加了一个有趣的交友活动。很多人是LinkedIn社交网站的网友。 这次活动的主持人是Ilene Koehler。她主持我们进行速配约会，每“一对”交流五分钟，然后换不同的对象。我发现我见到的人中有三个直接这样介绍自己：

“Hi. I’m John Doe. And I’m unemployed³.”

“嗨，我叫John Doe，我没工作。”

Shoot, this isn’t an AA meeting. But those initial⁴ words left me feeling awkward⁵ and sorry for my fellow networkers. Somehow, I felt obligated, like I was supposed to help out. The energy between us felt heavy. So I actually told one of these networkers, “Hey, you shouldn’t say your unemployed. Say you’re between jobs. Or tell people that you’re looking for a new job in whatever field you’d enjoy.” He got the point immediately. He smiled. He felt better about himself.

晕，这不是一次AA制聚会。这样的开场白让我觉得窘迫，并为同来的人们感到抱歉。不知为什么，我觉得我必须帮助他们。我们两人之间的气氛变得很凝重。于是我告诉其中一位：“嘿，你不必说自己没有工作。说你正在求职。或者告诉别人你正在寻找一份自己喜欢的工作。”他立刻明白，笑了笑，觉得轻松多了。

You see, saying “I’m unemployed” tells people what you’re not. And, in this case, it communicates “I’m not employed.” To me, saying “I’m unemployed” sounds a little bit like you don’t feel like you fit in with the world. Look, my friends,　your self-worth is not determined⁶ by your job.

你看，说“没有工作”是在告诉别人自己“不是什么”。 此时，它传递的是“我没有工作”的含义。但是对我而言，它听上去有点像是你觉得自己没有融入这个世界。嗨，朋友们，你的自我价值不是由你的工作决定的。

I invite you to consider what really makes up your self-worth—like your caring heart, or your ability to stand tall in the face of adversity. But please know that you are not a social misfit just because some company has not decided⁷ to bring you on board. Or some organization decided to let you go. A company is not your family, believe it or not. So, if you don’t “belong” to a company, you’re still a living, breathing, talented human being.

请你想一想到底是什么构成了你的自我价值——比如：关爱之心、面对逆境坚强不屈的精神。但是要知道，仅仅是某公司没有录用你或者当某个企业让你走人并不表明你是社会中的“另类”。公司不是你的家，信不信由你。所以，如果你不“属于”一个公司，你还是一个活着的、呼吸着的、有才华的人。