Overview¹

 

Welcome to Chapter 5.

 

In Chapters 1-2, you studied the first two stages of the Writing Process: Plan and Organise².

 

Then, in Chapters 3-4, you looked at the next two stages: Draft and Revise. In drafting, you learned how to produce the first draft by only writing and not editing. Then, you began revising and practised making your document complete and your paragraphs cohesive³.

 

However, you have not yet finished revising. You need to check the sentences you wrote.

 

In this chapter, you'll learn how to make your sentences clear and concise⁴.

 

Plan

Organise

Draft

Revise

 

Objectives

 

By the end of this chapter, you'll be able to

l        write clear and concise sentences

l        revise sentences to make them clear and concise.

 

Once again, you'll work on revising the letters you read and wrote in Chapters 2-4.

 

Revising: A Quick Review

 

In Chapters 2-4, you read a letter written by Clever Man.

 

That letter has already been revised twice.

In Chapter 3, the letter was revised to make it more complete.

In Chapter 4, it was revised again to make the paragraphs more cohesive.

 

Look at the revised letter below. It still seems difficult to understand. Why?

 

22 April 200X

 

Ms Fiona Green

100 Clearwater Bay Road

Sai Kung NT

 

Dear Ms Green

 

PPS

 

I refer to your recent communication.

 

For your information please be advised that the PPS details and application form were sent to you at an earlier date.

 

If you complete and return the form to us, we can process your application immediately.

 

Thank you for your kind attention.

 

Yours sincerely

Clever Man

Manager

Smart Branch
 

 

Read the letter again. Then try to answer the questions:

 

1) Which communication is the writer referring to?

2) What did the writer send?

3) When did the writer send the materials?

 

The questions are difficult to answer, aren't they?

 

You can understand the words that the writer used. After all, they are common words - words which we often use.

 

However, the sentences are not very clear. Why?下一次我们将来为大家解答这个问题。

 

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