Chapter 73
My greatest wish - other than
salvation1 - was to have a book. A long book with a never-ending story. One I could read again and again, with new eyes and a fresh understanding each time.
Alas2, there was no
scripture3 in the lifeboat. I was a
disconsolate4 Arjuna in a
battered5 chariot without the benefit of Krishna's words. The first time I came upon a Bible in the bedside table of a hotel room in Canada, I burst into tears. I sent a contribution to the Gideons the very next day, with a note urging them to spread the range of their activity to all places where worn and weary travellers might lay down their heads, not just to hotel rooms, and that they should leave not only Bibles, but other sacred writings as well. I cannot think of a better way to spread the faith. No thundering from a pulpit, no
condemnation6 from bad churches, no peer pressure, just a book of scripture quietly waiting to say hello, as gentle and powerful as a little girl's kiss on your cheek.
At the very least, if I had had a good novel! But there was only the survival manual, which I must have read ten thousand times over the course of my
ordeal7.
I kept a diary. It's hard to read. I wrote as small as I could. I was afraid I would run out of paper. There's not much to it. Words scratched on a page trying to capture a reality that overwhelmed me. I started it a week or so after the sinking of the Tsimtsum. Before that I was too busy and
scattered8. The entries are not dated or numbered. What strikes me now is how time is captured. Several days, several weeks, all on one page. I talked about what you might expect: about things that happened and how I felt, about what I caught and what I didn't, about seas and weather, about problems and solutions, about Richard Parker. All very practical stuff.
第七十三章
我 最大的愿望——除了得救之外——就是能有一本书。一本厚厚的书，讲的是一个永远没有结束的故事。一本我可以一遍又一遍地读，每读一遍都有全新的见解和鲜活 的感受的书。哎，可惜救生艇上没有经文。我是郁郁寡欢的阿朱那，坐在被毁坏的凯旋战车里，却没有克利须那出言相助（典出<摩呵婆罗多> 的<福音之歌>部分。英雄阿朱那没有勇气面对一场重要的战斗；为他驾驶战车的正是克利须那，他向阿朱那传授了<福音之歌>中的智 慧。）。第一次在加拿大一间旅馆房间里的床头柜上看见一本<圣经>的时候，我的眼泪夺眶而出。第二天我就给基甸国际寄去一笔捐款，同时附了一 封短信，请求他们把活动范围扩大到所有地方，而不仅仅局限于旅馆房间，让那些身心疲惫的旅人能够人眠；也不仅仅留下<圣经》，还要留下其他神圣的作 品。我想不出比这更好的传播虔诚信仰的办法。没有讲坛的威吓，没有恶教堂的谴责，没有同行的压力，只有一本经文静静地等着和你打招呼，温柔而有力，就像小 姑娘在你颊上的一吻。
至少让我有一本好小说吧！但是只有求生指南。在这苦难的历程中，我一定已经读过一万遍了。我记日记。这本日记读起来很困难。我把字写得尽量小。我担心纸会用完。日记里没有华丽的词藻。
潦 草地涂写在纸上的字试图记录震撼我的事实。我是在“齐姆楚姆”号沉没大约一个星期以后开始记日记的。在那之前我太忙，注意力被太多的事情分散了。一天天的 记录没有标日期，也没有标页码。几天，几个星期的事情，都写在一页纸上。我谈论的事情你们能够预料得到：关于发生的事情和我的感受，关于我抓住了什么和没 有抓住什么，关于大海和天气，关于问题和解决问题的方法，关于理查德·帕克。全都是非常实际的东西。
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