IT was after sun-up now, but we went right on and didn't tie up. The king and the duke turned out by and by looking pretty rusty¹; but after they'd jumped overboard and took a swim it chippered them up a good deal. After breakfast the king he took a seat on the corner of the raft, and pulled off his boots and rolled up his britches, and let his legs dangle² in the water, so as to be comfortable, and lit his pipe, and went to getting his Romeo and Juliet by heart. When he had got it pretty good him and the duke begun to practice it together. The duke had to learn him over and over again how to say every speech; and he made him sigh, and put his hand on his heart, and after a while he said he done it pretty well; "only," he says, "you mustn't bellow³ out ROMEO! that way, like a bull -- you must say it soft and sick and languishy, so -- R-o-o-meo! that is the idea; for Juliet's a dear sweet mere⁴ child of a girl, you know, and she doesn't bray⁵ like a jackass."

Well, next they got out a couple of long swords that the duke made out of oak laths, and begun to practice the sword fight -- the duke called himself Richard III.; and the way they laid on and pranced⁷ around the raft was grand to see. But by and by the king tripped and fell overboard, and after that they took a rest, and had a talk about all kinds of adventures they'd had in other times along the river.

After dinner the duke says:

"Well, Capet, we'll want to make this a first-class show, you know, so I guess we'll add a little more to it. We want a little something to answer encores with, anyway."

"What's onkores, Bilgewater?"

The duke told him, and then says:

"I'll answer by doing the Highland⁹ fling or the sailor's hornpipe; and you -- well, let me see -- oh, I've got it -- you can do Hamlet's soliloquy."

"Hamlet's which?"

"Hamlet's soliloquy, you know; the most celebrated¹⁰ thing in Shakespeare. Ah, it's sublime¹¹, sublime! Always fetches the house. I haven't got it in the book -- I've only got one volume -- but I reckon I can piece it out from memory. I'll just walk up and down a minute, and see if I can call it back from recollection's vaults¹²."

So he went to marching up and down, thinking, and frowning horrible every now and then; then he would hoist¹³ up his eyebrows¹⁴; next he would squeeze his hand on his forehead and stagger back and kind of moan; next he would sigh, and next he'd let on to drop a tear. It was beautiful to see him. By and by he got it. He told us to give attention. Then he strikes a most noble attitude, with one leg shoved forwards, and his arms stretched away up, and his head tilted¹⁵ back, looking up at the sky; and then he begins to rip and rave¹⁶ and grit¹⁷ his teeth; and after that, all through his speech, he howled, and spread around, and swelled¹⁸ up his chest, and just knocked the spots out of any acting¹⁹ ever I see before. This is the speech -- I learned it, easy enough, while he was learning it to the king:

To be, or not to be; that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity²⁰ of so long life; For who would fardels bear, till Birnam Wood do come to Dunsinane, But that the fear of something after death Murders the innocent sleep, Great nature's second course, And makes us rather sling²¹ the arrows of outrageous²² fortune Than fly to others that we know not of. There's the respect must give us pause: Wake Duncan with thy knocking! I would thou couldst; For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely, The law's delay, and the quietus which his pangs²³ might take, In the dead waste and middle of the night, when churchyards yawn In customary suits of solemn black, But that the undiscovered country from whose bourne no traveler returns, Breathes forth²⁴ contagion²⁵ on the world, And thus the native hue²⁶ of resolution, like the poor cat i' the adage²⁷, Is sicklied o'er with care, And all the clouds that lowered o'er our housetops, With this regard their currents turn awry²⁸, And lose the name of action. 'Tis a consummation devoutly²⁹ to be wished. But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous³⁰ and marble jaws³¹, But get thee to a nunnery -- go!

Well, the old man he liked that speech, and he mighty³² soon got it so he could do it first-rate. It seemed like he was just born for it; and when he had his hand in and was excited, it was perfectly³³ lovely the way he would rip and tear and rair up behind when he was getting it off.

The first chance we got the duke he had some showbills printed; and after that, for two or three days as we floated along, the raft was a most uncommon³⁴ lively place, for there warn't nothing but sword fighting and rehearsing -- as the duke called it -- going on all the time. One morning, when we was pretty well down the State of Arkansaw, we come in sight of a little one-horse town in a big bend; so we tied up about three-quarters of a mile above it, in the mouth of a crick which was shut in like a tunnel by the cypress³⁵ trees, and all of us but Jim took the canoe and went down there to see if there was any chance in that place for our show.

We struck it mighty lucky; there was going to be a circus there that afternoon, and the country people was already beginning to come in, in all kinds of old shackly wagons³⁶, and on horses. The circus would leave before night, so our show would have a pretty good chance. The duke he hired the courthouse, and we went around and stuck up our bills. They read like this:

               Shaksperean Revival37 ! ! !
Wonderful Attraction!
For One Night Only!
The world renowned38 tragedians,
David Garrick the Younger, of Drury Lane Theatre London,
and
Edmund Kean the elder, of the Royal Haymarket Theatre,
Whitechapel, Pudding Lane, Piccadilly, London, and the
Royal Continental39 Theatres, in their sublime
Shaksperean Spectacle entitled
The Balcony Scene
in
Romeo and Juliet ! ! !
Romeo...................Mr. Garrick
Juliet..................Mr. Kean
Assisted by the whole strength of the company!
New costumes, new scenes, new appointments!
Also:
The thrilling, masterly, and blood-curdling
Broad-sword conflict
In Richard III. ! ! !
Richard III.............Mr. Garrick
Richmond................Mr. Kean
Also:
(by special request)
Hamlet's Immortal40 Soliloquy ! !
By The Illustrious Kean!
Done by him 300 consecutive41 nights in Paris!
For One Night Only,
On account of imperative42 European engagements!
Admission 25 cents; children and servants, 10 cents.

Then we went loafing around town. The stores and houses was most all old, shackly, dried up frame concerns that hadn't ever been painted; they was set up three or four foot above ground on stilts⁴³, so as to be out of reach of the water when the river was overflowed⁴⁴. The houses had little gardens around them, but they didn't seem to raise hardly anything in them but jimpson-weeds, and sunflowers, and ash piles, and old curled-up boots and shoes, and pieces of bottles, and rags, and played-out tinware. The fences was made of different kinds of boards, nailed on at different times; and they leaned every which way, and had gates that didn't generly have but one hinge -- a leather one. Some of the fences had been whitewashed⁴⁵ some time or another, but the duke said it was in Clumbus' time, like enough. There was generly hogs⁴⁶ in the garden, and people driving them out.

All the stores was along one street. They had white domestic awnings⁴⁸ in front, and the country people hitched⁴⁹ their horses to the awning⁴⁷-posts. There was empty drygoods boxes under the awnings, and loafers roosting on them all day long, whittling⁵⁰ them with their Barlow knives; and chawing tobacco, and gaping⁵¹ and yawning and stretching -- a mighty ornery lot. They generly had on yellow straw hats most as wide as an umbrella, but didn't wear no coats nor waistcoats, they called one another Bill, and Buck⁵², and Hank, and Joe, and Andy, and talked lazy and drawly, and used considerable many cuss words. There was as many as one loafer leaning up against every awning-post, and he most always had his hands in his britches-pockets, except when he fetched them out to lend a chaw of tobacco or scratch. What a body was hearing amongst them all the time was:

"Gimme a chaw 'v tobacker, Hank "

"Cain't; I hain't got but one chaw left. Ask Bill."

Maybe Bill he gives him a chaw; maybe he lies and says he ain't got none. Some of them kinds of loafers never has a cent in the world, nor a chaw of tobacco of their own. They get all their chawing by borrowing; they say to a fellow, "I wisht you'd len' me a chaw, Jack⁶, I jist this minute give Ben Thompson the last chaw I had" -- which is a lie pretty much everytime; it don't fool nobody but a stranger; but Jack ain't no stranger, so he says:

"YOU give him a chaw, did you? So did your sister's cat's grandmother. You pay me back the chaws you've awready borry'd off'n me, Lafe Buckner, then I'll loan you one or two ton of it, and won't charge you no back intrust, nuther."

"Well, I DID pay you back some of it wunst."

"Yes, you did -- 'bout⁸ six chaws. You borry'd store tobacker and paid back nigger-head."

Store tobacco is flat black plug, but these fellows mostly chaws the natural leaf twisted. When they borrow a chaw they don't generly cut it off with a knife, but set the plug in between their teeth, and gnaw⁵³ with their teeth and tug⁵⁴ at the plug with their hands till they get it in two; then sometimes the one that owns the tobacco looks mournful at it when it's handed back, and says, sarcastic⁵⁵:

"Here, gimme the CHAW, and you take the PLUG."

All the streets and lanes was just mud; they warn't nothing else BUT mud -- mud as black as tar⁵⁶ and nigh about a foot deep in some places, and two or three inches deep in ALL the places. The hogs loafed and grunted⁵⁷ around everywheres. You'd see a muddy sow and a litter of pigs come lazying along the street and whollop herself right down in the way, where folks had to walk around her, and she'd stretch out and shut her eyes and wave her ears whilst the pigs was milking her, and look as happy as if she was on salary. And pretty soon you'd hear a loafer sing out, "Hi! SO boy! sick him, Tige!" and away the sow would go, squealing⁵⁸ most horrible, with a dog or two swinging to each ear, and three or four dozen more a-coming; and then you would see all the loafers get up and watch the thing out of sight, and laugh at the fun and look grateful for the noise. Then they'd settle back again till there was a dog fight. There couldn't anything wake them up all over, and make them happy all over, like a dog fight -- unless it might be putting turpentine on a stray dog and setting fire to him, or tying a tin pan to his tail and see him run himself to death.

On the river front some of the houses was sticking out over the bank, and they was bowed and bent⁵⁹, and about ready to tumble in, The people had moved out of them. The bank was caved away under one corner of some others, and that corner was hanging over. People lived in them yet, but it was dangersome, because sometimes a strip of land as wide as a house caves in at a time. Sometimes a belt of land a quarter of a mile deep will start in and cave along and cave along till it all caves into the river in one summer. Such a town as that has to be always moving back, and back, and back, because the river's always gnawing⁶⁰ at it.

The nearer it got to noon that day the thicker and thicker was the wagons and horses in the streets, and more coming all the time. Families fetched their dinners with them from the country, and eat them in the wagons. There was considerable whisky drinking going on, and I seen three fights. By and by somebody sings out:

"Here comes old Boggs! -- in from the country for his little old monthly drunk; here he comes, boys!"

All the loafers looked glad; I reckoned they was used to having fun out of Boggs. One of them says:

"Wonder who he's a-gwyne to chaw up this time. If he'd a-chawed up all the men he's ben a-gwyne to chaw up in the last twenty year he'd have considerable ruputation now."

Another one says, "I wisht old Boggs 'd threaten me, 'cuz then I'd know I warn't gwyne to die for a thousan' year."

Boggs comes a-tearing along on his horse, whooping⁶¹ and yelling like an Injun, and singing out:

"Cler the track, thar. I'm on the waw-path, and the price uv coffins⁶² is a-gwyne to raise."

He was drunk, and weaving about in his saddle; he was over fifty year old, and had a very red face. Everybody yelled at him and laughed at him and sassed him, and he sassed back, and said he'd attend to them and lay them out in their regular turns, but he couldn't wait now because he'd come to town to kill old Colonel Sherburn, and his motto was, "Meat first, and spoon vittles to top off on."

He see me, and rode up and says:

"Whar'd you come f'm, boy? You prepared to die?"

Then he rode on. I was scared, but a man says:

"He don't mean nothing; he's always a-carryin' on like that when he's drunk. He's the best naturedest old fool in Arkansaw -- never hurt nobody, drunk nor sober."

Boggs rode up before the biggest store in town, and bent his head down so he could see under the curtain of the awning and yells:

"Come out here, Sherburn! Come out and meet the man you've swindled. You're the houn' I'm after, and I'm a-gwyne to have you, too!"

And so he went on, calling Sherburn everything he could lay his tongue to, and the whole street packed with people listening and laughing and going on. By and by a proud-looking man about fifty-five -- and he was a heap the best dressed man in that town, too -- steps out of the store, and the crowd drops back on each side to let him come. He says to Boggs, mighty ca'm and slow -- he says:

"I'm tired of this, but I'll endure it till one o'clock. Till one o'clock, mind -- no longer. If you open your mouth against me only once after that time you can't travel so far but I will find you."

Then he turns and goes in. The crowd looked mighty sober; nobody stirred, and there warn't no more laughing. Boggs rode off blackguarding Sherburn as loud as he could yell, all down the street; and pretty soon back he comes and stops before the store, still keeping it up. Some men crowded around him and tried to get him to shut up, but he wouldn't; they told him it would be one o'clock in about fifteen minutes, and so he MUST go home -- he must go right away. But it didn't do no good. He cussed away with all his might, and throwed his hat down in the mud and rode over it, and pretty soon away he went a-raging down the street again, with his gray hair aflying. Everybody that could get a chance at him tried their best to coax⁶³ him off of his horse so they could lock him up and get him sober; but it warn't no use -- up the street he would tear again, and give Sherburn another cussing. By and by somebody says:

"Go for his daughter! -- quick, go for his daughter; sometimes he'll listen to her. If anybody can persuade him, she can."

So somebody started on a run. I walked down street a ways and stopped. In about five or ten minutes here comes Boggs again, but not on his horse. He was a-reeling across the street towards me, bareheaded, with a friend on both sides of him a-holt of his arms and hurrying him along. He was quiet, and looked uneasy; and he warn't hanging back any, but was doing some of the hurrying himself. Somebody sings out:

"Boggs!"

I looked over there to see who said it, and it was that Colonel Sherburn. He was standing⁶⁴ perfectly still in the street, and had a pistol raised in his right hand -- not aiming it, but holding it out with the barrel tilted up towards the sky. The same second I see a young girl coming on the run, and two men with her. Boggs and the men turned round to see who called him, and when they see the pistol the men jumped to one side, and the pistol-barrel come down slow and steady to a level -- both barrels cocked. Boggs throws up both of his hands and says, "O Lord, don't shoot!" Bang! goes the first shot, and he staggers back, clawing at the air -- bang! goes the second one, and he tumbles backwards⁶⁵ on to the ground, heavy and solid, with his arms spread out. That young girl screamed out and comes rushing, and down she throws herself on her father, crying, and saying, "Oh, he's killed him, he's killed him!" The crowd closed up around them, and shouldered and jammed one another, with their necks stretched, trying to see, and people on the inside trying to shove them back and shouting, "Back, back! give him air, give him air!"

Colonel Sherburn he tossed his pistol on to the ground, and turned around on his heels and walked off.

They took Boggs to a little drug store, the crowd pressing around just the same, and the whole town following, and I rushed and got a good place at the window, where I was close to him and could see in. They laid him on the floor and put one large Bible under his head, and opened another one and spread it on his breast; but they tore open his shirt first, and I seen where one of the bullets went in. He made about a dozen long gasps⁶⁶, his breast lifting the Bible up when he drawed in his breath, and letting it down again when he breathed it out -- and after that he laid still; he was dead. Then they pulled his daughter away from him, screaming and crying, and took her off. She was about sixteen, and very sweet and gentle looking, but awful pale and scared.

Well, pretty soon the whole town was there, squirming and scrouging and pushing and shoving to get at the window and have a look, but people that had the places wouldn't give them up, and folks behind them was saying all the time, "Say, now, you've looked enough, you fellows; 'tain't right and 'tain't fair for you to stay thar all the time, and never give nobody a chance; other folks has their rights as well as you."

There was considerable jawing⁶⁷ back, so I slid out, thinking maybe there was going to be trouble. The streets was full, and everybody was excited. Everybody that seen the shooting was telling how it happened, and there was a big crowd packed around each one of these fellows, stretching their necks and listening. One long, lanky⁶⁸ man, with long hair and a big white fur stovepipe hat on the back of his head, and a crooked-handled cane⁶⁹, marked out the places on the ground where Boggs stood and where Sherburn stood, and the people following him around from one place to t'other and watching everything he done, and bobbing their heads to show they understood, and stooping a little and resting their hands on their thighs⁷⁰ to watch him mark the places on the ground with his cane; and then he stood up straight and stiff where Sherburn had stood, frowning and having his hat-brim down over his eyes, and sung out, "Boggs!" and then fetched his cane down slow to a level, and says "Bang!" staggered backwards, says "Bang!" again, and fell down flat on his back. The people that had seen the thing said he done it perfect; said it was just exactly the way it all happened. Then as much as a dozen people got out their bottles and treated him.

Well, by and by somebody said Sherburn ought to be lynched. In about a minute everybody was saying it; so away they went, mad and yelling, and snatching down every clothes-line they come to to do the hanging with.

这会儿太阳已经升起了，可是我们一直往前开，并没有靠岸把木筏系好。到后来，国王
和公爵走出棚来，脸色不大好看。不过，后来他们跳下水去，游了一下，显然高兴多啦。早
饭以后，国王在木筏子一个角落坐了下来，把靴子脱了，裤脚管卷了起来，两腿在水里荡
着，舒服舒服。他点起烟斗，心里默默念着罗密欧——朱丽叶的台词。背得挺熟以后，他和
公爵开始操练起来。公爵还得一遍又一遍地教他，教他每句话该怎么讲，教他该怎样叹气，
怎样把手按在心口上。隔了一会儿，他说他练得很不错了。“不过”，他说，“你喊罗密欧
的时候，可千万不能象一条公牛那么吼叫——你务必说得那么轻柔，那么病恹恹的，心神恍
惚的，吐出——罗——密——欧！就该这样，因为朱丽叶是那样可亲可爱，甜甜蜜蜜，还只
是个孩子那样的姑娘家，你知道吧，她决不会象公驴般地呜呜叫唤。”
    好，到下一步，他们取出了一对长刀，是由公爵用橡木条做成的。他们开始练习斗剑—
—公爵自称是理查第三。他们那样一来一去开打，在木筏子上跳过来，又跳过去，那个模样
叫人看得入迷。不过，后来国王摔了一跤。在这以后，他们就停下来休息了。他们谈到了他
们在别的时候在河上那种种历险的事迹。
    吃过饭以后，公爵说：
    “好，卡贝①，你知道吧，我们要把这一场戏演成第一流的精彩节目。所以我看我们不
妨添加点儿什么。反正人们一声‘恩各尔②’，你总得应付应付才行啊。”   

　　①《文库》本注：马克·吐温喜读汤姆斯·卡莱尔的《法国大革命》一书，书中
说，法国国王路易十六被废黜以后，革命者称他为公民路易·卡贝。卡贝是中世纪法国权势
极大的一个家族。
诺顿版注：在这里，冒充的公爵还可能把朱丽叶家的姓Capulet和法国国王的姓capet
混为一谈了。
②法语：再来一个。

    “毕奇华特，‘恩各尔’是什么啊？”
公爵对他作了解释，然后说：
“我就来上一段苏格兰舞，或是水手跳的笛舞，你呢——啊，让我想一想——好，有了
——你不妨念一段哈姆雷特的独白。”
“哈姆雷特的什么啊？”
“哈姆雷特的独白，知道吧，莎士比亚最著名的台词。啊，这是多么辉煌，多么辉煌！
每一回总是把全场给迷住啦。我这本书里没有这一段——我只搞到一卷——不过我看啊，我
能凭了记忆凑齐它。我只需来回走走台步，走个把分钟，看能不能从记忆的仓库里回想起
来。”
于是他就来回走起了台步，一边思索。有时候间或把眉头紧锁，有时候眉毛往上一耸。
接下来，一只手紧紧按住了额骨，踉踉跄跄倒退几步，仿佛还哼了几声。然后他会长叹一
声，再后来他装成流下了热泪。这种种表演，煞是好看。慢慢地他回忆起了，于是他叫我们
注意了。接着他摆出了一个最最高贵的姿势，一只脚往前探，两只胳膊往上往前伸，脑袋往
后仰，眼睛望着天。接下来，他开始中了邪似地叫嚷，磨他的牙。然后，在念这段台词时，
从头到尾吼叫着，两手摊开，胸膛鼓起，这样就使我过去见过的表演，都为之黯然失色。这
段台词是这样的——他教国王念的时候，我很容易地便记住了的。①    

　　①诺顿版注：演莎剧时，把不同剧本中的著名台词随意拆散，东拼西凑，这在当时
边疆地区演出时常有的情况。

    活下去呢，还是不活下去，这是一把出鞘的宝剑，
使这漫长的一生成为无穷的灾难，
谁愿挑着重担，一直到勃南森林，真是来到了邓西宁，
可是对死后的遭遇深怀恐惧，
害死了无忧无虑的睡眠，
伟大天性的第二条路，
使我们宁愿抛出恶运的毒箭，
决不逃往幽冥去寻求解脱，
正是为了这个缘故我们才不得不踌躇。
你敲门吧，去把邓肯敲醒！但愿您做得到；
谁愿忍受人世的鞭挞和嘲弄，
压迫者的虐待，傲慢者的凌辱，
法律的拖延，和痛苦可能带来的解脱，
在这夜半死寂的荒凉里，墓穴洞开，
礼俗的黑色丧服，一片阴森。
但是那世人有去无还的冥界，
正向人间喷出毒气阵阵，
因此那刚毅的本色，象古语所说的那只可怜的小猫，
就被烦恼蒙上了一层病容，
一切压在我们屋顶上的阴云，
因此改变了漂浮的方向，
失去了行动的力量。
那正是功德无量。且慢，美丽的峨菲丽雅：
别张开你那又大又笨的大理石嘴巴，
赶快到女修道院里去吧——快去①。    

　　①《文库》本注：“公爵”自以为在背诵哈姆雷特这段著名独白，其实背得颠倒错
乱，还胡乱插进了莎剧《麦克白》和《理查三世》中的台词。
又，故意把莎剧弄得面目全非，是十九世纪喜剧惯用的手段。又，如果查一下，“公
爵”怎样把不同莎剧的台词胡乱拼凑在一起，以获得逗笑的效果，是很有趣的。特别是怎样
把《麦克白》一剧中的台词和《哈姆雷特》的台词拼凑在一起的。象第三行后一半，第五
行，第六行，第十二行，第十八行后一半，都是如此。

    啊，那老头呢，倒也喜欢这段台词，很快便记住了，所以能够作出了第一流的表演。那
情景仿佛他生来就是为了表演这段台词似的。等他练熟了，激动起来了，他演的时候那个狂
吼乱叫、哭哭啼啼的模样，可真美妙。
一有机会，公爵就印好了几份演出的海报。在这以后，有两三天的时间，我们在河上漂
流，木筏子上显得很活跃，不同寻常，因为木筏子上整天在斗剑啊，彩排啊——是公路叫的
这个名词——除此以外，没有干别的。一天早晨，我们到了阿肯色州下游老远的地方，可以
望见前边一个大的河湾处，有一个巴掌大的小镇，我们就在离镇上游大约西分之三英里的地
方，把木筏子系好了。那是在一条小河浜出口处，两边有柏树浓荫覆盖，仿佛象一条隧道似
的。除了杰姆以外，我们都坐了独木舟前往那个镇子上，看看在那里能否有个机会好演出。
我们可交了好运。那边下午恰好有一场马戏演出，乡下的人已经纷纷坐各式各样的旧篷
车或是骑着马开始前来。马戏团要在夜晚以前离镇，这样，就给了我们的演出非常好的机
会。公爵租下了法院大厅，我们便四处张贴我们的海报。海报上面写着①：
莎士比亚名剧隆重再演！！
惊人魅力！
只演今晚一场！
世界著名悲剧演员：
伦敦特勒雷巷剧院的小但维·迦里克与伦敦匹凯特里·布丁巷白教堂皇家草料场剧院及
皇家大陆剧院的老埃特蒙特·基恩演出莎士比亚出类拔萃之名剧《罗密欧——朱丽叶》中精
彩的阳台一场！！
罗密欧——迦里克先生
朱丽叶——基恩先生
由本剧团全体演员协力演出！全新行头，全新布景，全新道具！
并演
惊险万状、惊人绝技、惊心动魄
独聿槿世》中之斗剑场面
理查三世——迦里克先生
里士满——基恩先生
加演
（应观众特邀）
哈姆雷特的不朽独白！
由声名赫赫的基恩演出！
在巴黎连续演出了３００场。
因欧洲各地有约在先，
只演今晚一场。
入场票两角五分，童、仆一角。    

　　①诺顿版注：这里“公爵”故意把演莎剧的三个名演员混在了一起。这三人年代各
异，迦里克（１７１７—１７７０），老基恩（１７８７－１８３３），小基恩（１８１
１？—１８６８）。第二十二章中《王室异兽》海报上也有这样的情况。

    随后我们在镇上逛来逛去。①所有商店、住家大多是干木头搭的房子，东倒西歪的，也
没有刷过油漆。离地有三四英尺高，底下用木桩撑着，这样，大水漫过来时，房子不会进
水。屋子四周都有小园子，不过上面仿佛没有栽什么东西，所以杂草丛生，只长些向日葵。
此外便是灰堆，破旧的鞋靴，破瓶子，破布头和用旧了的白铁器具。围墙是用各种板子拼凑
的，在不同的时间里给钉牢的，歪歪斜斜，很不雅观。大门只有一个铰链——是皮做的。也
有些围墙曾于某年某月刷白过，不过据公爵说，那是在哥伦布时代②的事了，这倒很象。    

　　①诺顿版注：以下是马克·吐温对当时边疆地区的人往往懒散、邋遢表示不满的描
写，实乃写的故乡汉尼拔。马克·吐温在其它地方写到汉尼拔时，往往出之以怀旧抒情的笔
调，与这里的文笔有所不同。
②哥伦布于１４９２年发现美洲。

    园子里往往有猪闯进去，人们就把它们赶出去。
所有的店铺都开设在一条街上。各家门口都支着一个自家制成的布篷。乡下人把他们的
马拴在布篷的柱子上。布篷下堆放着装杂货的空木箱，一些游手好闲的人整天坐在上面，或
是用他们身边带的巴罗牌小刀，在箱子上削来削去，或是嘴里嚼嚼烟草①，或是张开嘴打打
呵欠，伸伸懒腰——这群十足的无赖。他们通常戴顶黄色的草帽，边宽得象顶雨伞。他们不
穿上衣，也不穿背心，彼此称呼比尔、勃克和汉克、乔、安特。说起话来懒洋洋，慢腾腾，
三句不离骂人的话。往往有游手好闲之徒，身子靠着布篷柱子，双手老是插在裤袋里，除非
要伸出手来拿一口烟嚼嚼，或是抓一下痒。人们总是听到在说：
“给我一口烟嚼嚼吧，汉克。”    

　　①当时卷烟尚未流行，南方乡间大多嚼烟叶。

    “不行啊——我只剩一口啦。跟比尔去讨吧。”
也许比尔会给他一口。也许这是他在撒谎，推说自己没有了。这些流氓，有的人从来身
无分文，也从没有自己的烟叶子。他们嚼的烟都是借来的——他们对一个家伙说：“杰克，
借口烟嚼嚼，怎么样。我刚把我最后一口烟给了朋·汤浦逊”——而这是谎话。往往每回都
如此，除非是生人，这骗不了谁，而杰克可并非生人，他就说：
“你给过他一口烟，真是这样么？你妹妹的汉子的奶奶还给了他一口呢。勒夫·勃克
纳，你先把我借给你的那几口还给我，然后我借给你一两吨，并且不收利息，怎么样。”
“可是我先前还过你几回啦。”
“哦不错，你是还过——大概六口吧。可是你借的是铺子里的货。你还的是黑奴嚼的。”
铺子里的烟是又扁又黑的板烟，不过这些家伙嚼的大多是把生叶子拧起来嚼。他们借到
一口烟的时候，往往并非是用小刀切开，而是放在上下的牙齿中间，一边用手撕扯，撕成了
两片——有时候这块烟叶的本主，在人家还给他的时候，不免哭丧着脸，带着挖苦的口气说：
“好啊，把你嚼的一口还给我，把这片叶子给你吧。”大街小巷全是稀泥，除了稀泥，
什么都没有——稀泥黑得象漆，有些地方几乎有一英尺深，其它的地方，全都有两三英寸
深。猪到处走动，嘴里咕噜咕噜叫唤着。有时你会看见一头泥糊糊的母猪带着一群猪崽子懒
洋洋地沿街逛荡，一歪身就当着街上躺了下来，害得人们走过时必须绕过它走，它却摊着四
肢，闭上眼睛，摇摇耳朵，喂着小猪崽子，那神态的舒坦，仿佛它也是领薪水过活的。不用
多久，你就会听到一个游手好闲之徒在叫：“叱，过去，咬它，小虎。”老母猪便一边发出
可怕的尖叫声，一边逃走，因为它左右两旁都有一两只狗咬着它的耳朵打秋千。这时还可见
到那些无赖一个个站了起来，乐得哈哈大笑，一直看到不见踪影才算了事。他们那个模样仿
佛在说，亏得有了这场热闹。然后他们又恢复了原状，一直要到下一次又有狗打架的事。再
也没有什么别的事情，能象一场狗打架那样能叫他们精神陡然振作起来，叫他们全身欢快起
来——除非是在一条野狗身上浇些松节油，点上一把火，或是把一只白铁锅拴在狗尾巴上，
眼看着这条狗不停地奔跑，到死为止。
在河边，有些房屋往外伸到了河面上，歪歪料斜的，快塌到河里去了。住家的都已经迁
了出来。沿河房子的有些角落，下边的土已经塌了，房子还悬在那里，住家的人也没有搬
出，可这是多么危险。因为有时候会有一大段土，有一所房子那么大，突然塌了下来。有时
候，整整一片共有四分之一英里那么深，会一天天往下塌，后来到一个夏天，便整个儿塌到
水里去了。象这样一个镇子，得经常往后缩、缩、缩，因为大河在不停地啃它。
每天越是快到中午，街上大篷车啦，马啦，就越发挤，越是不断地涌来。一家人往往从
乡下带着中饭来，就在大篷车里吃。威士忌也喝得不少。我看到过三回打架的事。后来有人
叫起来了：
“老博格斯来啦①。——是从乡下来，照老规矩，每个月来小醉一回——他来啦，伙计
们。”    

　　①诺顿版注：以下的插曲，是根据马克·吐温十岁时在故乡汉尼拔亲眼见到的惨事
写成的。此案的法官即是马克·吐温的父亲。

    那些二流子一个个兴高采烈，——我看他们惯于拿博格斯开开心。其中一个人说：
“不知道这一回他要搞死谁。要是能把二十年来他说要搞死的人都搞死了，那他如今早
就大大出名了。”
别一个人说，“但愿老博格斯也能来吓唬吓唬我，那我就会知道，我一千年也死不了。”
博格斯骑着马飞奔而来，一边大喊大叫，就象印第安人那个架势，他吼道：
“快让开，快让开，我是来打仗的，棺材的价钱要看涨啦。”
他喝醉了，在马鞍上摇摇晃晃的。已经五十开外的人了，一脸通通红。大家朝他吼叫，
笑他，对他说些下流话，他也用同样的话回敬人家。他还说，他要按计划收拾他们，一个个
要他们的命，只是现在还没有工夫，因为他到镇上来，是要杀死歇朋上校这个老东西的，并
且他的信条是：“先吃肉，临完了再来几勺果子汤。”
他看到了我，他一边骑着马往前走，一边说：
“你从哪里来的啊，孩子？你想找死么？”
说着就骑着马往前去了。我吓得什么似的。可有一个人说：
“他是说得玩玩的，他喝醉了，便是这么个调调儿。他可是阿肯色州最和气的老傻瓜了
——从未伤害过人，不论是喝醉的时候，还是醒的时候。”
博格斯骑着马来到镇上最大的一家铺子的前面。他把脑袋低了下去，好从篷布帘子底下
朝里张望。他大叫：“歇朋，有种的站出来！站出来，会一会你骗过他钱的人。我就是要找
你这条恶狗，老子要找的就是你，就是要你的命！”
接着，他又骂下去，凡是他想得起来的骂人字眼，他都用上了。这时满街都是人，一边
听，一边嘻嘻哈哈笑。他就这样骂下去。隔了一会儿，一个神气高傲、五十五岁左右的男子
——他还是全镇衣着最讲究的人——从铺里走了出来，大伙儿从两旁纷纷后退，给他让道。
他神态慎静自若，一板一眼地说起话来——他说：
“这一套叫我烦死了，不过，我只能忍到下午一点钟。到一点钟，好好注意啊，——决
不延长。在这个时间以后，要是你再开口骂我，哪怕光只一回，那不论你飞到天涯海角，我
一定会找你算账的。”
说过，他一转身，就走了进去。围观的大伙儿仿佛都清醒了，没有人动一动，笑声也停
了下来。博格斯骑着马走了，沿了大街，一路之上，不断用种种脏话，倒在歇朋头上，不停
地高声叫骂。过不多久，他又转了回来，在铺子前面停下，还是不停地骂。有些人围在他四
周，试图劝他就此收场别骂了，可他就是不听。这些人对他说，离一点钟只有十五分钟了，
因此他务必回家去——而且马上就走。不过，说也无用，他使足了全身的劲骂个不停。他还
把他自己的帽子扔到了泥塘里，然后骑着马，在他那顶帽子上踩过去。一会儿，他走开了，
沿着大街，又一路漫骂起来，只见他一头白发，随风飘扬。凡是有机会跟他说话的，都好言
相劝，劝他跨下马来，这样好让他们把他关在屋里，让他酒醉醒过来。可是，这一切都无济
于事——他会又一次在街上飞奔起来，再一次大骂歇朋。隔了一会儿，有人说：
“去把他的女儿找来！——快，快去找他的女儿。他有的时候还能听她的。要是别的人
不行，她能行。”
因此就有人奔去找了。我在街上走了一会儿，然后停了下来。在五分钟到十分钟之内，
博格斯又回来了——不过倒不是骑着马来的。他光着脑袋，歪歪倒倒朝着我走过街，两旁有
他的朋友搀扶着，催他快走。这时候，他一声不响，神色不安，并没有赖着不走。倒是自个
儿也有点儿快走的模样。
有人喊了一声：
“博格斯！”
我往那边张望，看是谁喊的，一看正是歇朋上校。他一动不动站在大街中央，右手举起
了一支手枪，枪口朝外——并非瞄准着什么人，不过是向前伸着，枪筒对着天空。就在这一
刹那间，我只见一位年轻姑娘正在奔过来，边上有两个男子同她在一起。博格斯和搀他的人
一转身，看看是谁在叫他。他们一看到手枪，搀他的人便往边上一跳。只见枪筒慢慢地往下
放，放平了——两个枪筒都上了板机。博格斯举起双手说，“天啊，别开枪！”砰！第一枪
响了，他脚步踉踉跄跄往后倒，两手在空中乱抓——砰！第二枪响了，他摊开双手，扑通一
声，仰面朝天，倒在了地上。那位年轻姑娘尖声大叫，猛冲过来，扑在她父亲身上，一边哭
泣，一边说着，“哦，他杀了他啦，他杀了他啦！”围观的群众推推搡搡，紧紧围着他们，
伸长了脖子，想看个究竟。已经在里边的人使劲推开他们，叫道，“往后退，往后退！让他
好喘气！让他好喘气！”
歇朋上校呢，把手枪往地上一扔，脚后跟一转身，走了开去。
大伙儿把博格斯抬到了一家小杂货店，四周围的群众还象原来那样围得紧紧的，全镇的
人都来了。我赶紧冲上前去，在窗下占了个好位置，离他近，能看得清。他们把他平躺在地
板上，拿一本大开本的《圣经》放在他的头下，并且还拿了另一本《圣经》，把《圣经》打
了开来，放在他的胸上——不过他们先把他的衬衫扯开。我看到两颗子弹中有一颗就打进了
他的胸膛。他长长地喘着粗气。这样有十来回。他吸气时，《圣经》随着胸膛往上升，呼气
时，《圣经》随着胸膛往下坠——这样十来回以后，他就躺着不动了，他死了。大伙儿把他
女儿从他身上拉开。女儿一边尖声叫唤，一边哭泣，他们把她拉走了。她不过十六岁左右，
又甜，又长得文静，不过面色很苍白，一脸惊慌、害怕的样子。
啊，没有多久，全镇的人都赶来了，大伙儿推推搡搡扭着身子往前边挤，想挤到窗下，
看个清楚。不过，已经占了好位置的人不肯让，后边的人便不停地说，“喂，好啦，你们各
位也算看得够了嘛，你们老占着地方，不给别人一个机会，那就不仗义、不公道了嘛。别的
人跟你们一样有那个权利嘛。”
前边的人就纷纷还嘴，我就溜了出来，生怕闹出乱子来。凡是看到了怎样开枪的人，一
个个都在跟别的人讲述当初事情的经过。在这样的人四周，就各个围着一批人，伸长了脖
子，认真听着。一个长头发的瘦高个子，一顶白毛皮烟筒帽子推向脑门后边，正用一根弯柄
手杖在地上画出博格斯站在哪个位置上，歇朋又站在哪个位置上。大伙儿就跟着他从这一处
转到另一处，看着他的一举一动，一边点点头，表示他们听明白了，还稍稍弯下了身子，手
撑着大腿，看着他用手杖在地上标出有关的位置。接着，他在歇朋站的位置上，挺直了自己
的身子，瞪起眼睛，把帽檐拉到齐眼的地方，喊一声“博格斯！”然后把手杖举了起来，慢
慢放平；接着喊一声“砰！”踉踉跄跄往后退，又喊一声“砰！”仰面朝天倒在地上。凡是
目击过了的人都说，他表演得十分完满，当初全部经过，就正是这个样子。接着有十来个人
拿出酒瓶来，招待了他一番。
啊，隔了一会儿，就有人说，歇朋这个家伙，该用私刑杀了他。没有多久，人人都在这
么说了。他们也就出发了。一路之上象疯了似的，大声吼叫，还把路上见到的晾衣服的绳子
扯了下来，好用来绞死歇朋。