THEY swarmed² up towards Sherburn's house, awhooping and raging like Injuns, and everything had to clear the way or get run over and tromped to mush, and it was awful to see. Children was heeling it ahead of the mob, screaming and trying to get out of the way; and every window along the road was full of women's heads, and there was nigger boys in every tree, and bucks⁴ and wenches looking over every fence; and as soon as the mob would get nearly to them they would break and skaddle back out of reach. Lots of the women and girls was crying and taking on, scared most to death.

They swarmed up in front of Sherburn's palings as thick as they could jam together, and you couldn't hear yourself think for the noise. It was a little twenty-foot yard. Some sung out "Tear down the fence! tear down the fence!" Then there was a racket of ripping and tearing and smashing, and down she goes, and the front wall of the crowd begins to roll in like a wave.

Just then Sherburn steps out on to the roof of his little front porch, with a double-barrel gun in his hand, and takes his stand, perfectly⁵ ca'm and deliberate, not saying a word. The racket stopped, and the wave sucked back.

Sherburn never said a word -- just stood there, looking down. The stillness was awful creepy and uncomfortable. Sherburn run his eye slow along the crowd; and wherever it struck the people tried a little to outgaze him, but they couldn't; they dropped their eyes and looked sneaky. Then pretty soon Sherburn sort of laughed; not the pleasant kind, but the kind that makes you feel like when you are eating bread that's got sand in it.

Then he says, slow and scornful:

"The idea of YOU lynching anybody! It's amusing. The idea of you thinking you had pluck enough to lynch a MAN! Because you're brave enough to tar⁶ and feather poor friendless cast-out women that come along here, did that make you think you had grit⁷ enough to lay your hands on a MAN? Why, a MAN'S safe in the hands of ten thousand of your kind -- as long as it's daytime and you're not behind him.

"Do I know you? I know you clear through was born and raised in the South, and I've lived in the North; so I know the average all around. The average man's a coward. In the North he lets anybody walk over him that wants to, and goes home and prays for a humble⁸ spirit to bear it. In the South one man all by himself, has stopped a stage full of men in the daytime, and robbed the lot. Your newspapers call you a brave people so much that you think you are braver than any other people -- whereas you're just AS brave, and no braver. Why don't your juries hang murderers? Because they're afraid the man's friends will shoot them in the back, in the dark -- and it's just what they WOULD do.

"So they always acquit⁹; and then a MAN goes in the night, with a hundred masked cowards at his back and lynches the rascal¹⁰. Your mistake is, that you didn't bring a man with you; that's one mistake, and the other is that you didn't come in the dark and fetch your masks. You brought PART of a man -- Buck³ Harkness, there -- and if you hadn't had him to start you, you'd a taken it out in blowing.

"You didn't want to come. The average man don't like trouble and danger. YOU don't like trouble and danger. But if only HALF a man -- like Buck Harkness, there -- shouts 'Lynch him! lynch him!' you're afraid to back down -- afraid you'll be found out to be what you are -- COWARDS -- and so you raise a yell, and hang yourselves on to that half-a-man's coat-tail, and come raging up here, swearing what big things you're going to do. The pitifulest thing out is a mob; that's what an army is -- a mob; they don't fight with courage that's born in them, but with courage that's borrowed from their mass, and from their officers. But a mob without any MAN at the head of it is BENEATH pitifulness. Now the thing for YOU to do is to droop¹¹ your tails and go home and crawl in a hole. If any real lynching's going to be done it will be done in the dark, Southern fashion; and when they come they'll bring their masks, and fetch a MAN along. Now LEAVE -- and take your half-a-man with you" -- tossing his gun up across his left arm and cocking it when he says this.

The crowd washed back sudden, and then broke all apart, and went tearing off every which way, and Buck Harkness he heeled it after them, looking tolerable cheap. I could a stayed if I wanted to, but I didn't want to.

I went to the circus and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by, and then dived in under the tent. I had my twenty-dollar gold piece and some other money, but I reckoned I better save it, because there ain't no telling how soon you are going to need it, away from home and amongst strangers that way. You can't be too careful. I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses when there ain't no other way, but there ain't no use in WASTING it on them.

It was a real bully¹² circus. It was the splendidest sight that ever was when they all come riding in, two and two, a gentleman and lady, side by side, the men just in their drawers and undershirts, and no shoes nor stirrups, and resting their hands on their thighs¹³ easy and comfortable -- there must a been twenty of them -- and every lady with a lovely complexion¹⁴, and perfectly beautiful, and looking just like a gang of real sure-enough queens, and dressed in clothes that cost millions of dollars, and just littered with diamonds. It was a powerful fine sight; I never see anything so lovely. And then one by one they got up and stood, and went a-weaving around the ring so gentle and wavy¹⁵ and graceful¹⁶, the men looking ever so tall and airy and straight, with their heads bobbing and skimming along, away up there under the tent-roof, and every lady's rose-leafy dress flapping soft and silky around her hips¹⁷, and she looking like the most loveliest parasol.

And then faster and faster they went, all of them dancing, first one foot out in the air and then the other, the horses leaning more and more, and the ringmaster going round and round the center-pole, cracking his whip and shouting "Hi! -- hi!" and the clown cracking jokes behind him; and by and by all hands dropped the reins¹⁸, and every lady put her knuckles¹⁹ on her hips and every gentleman folded his arms, and then how the horses did lean over and hump themselves! And so one after the other they all skipped off into the ring, and made the sweetest bow I ever see, and then scampered²⁰ out, and everybody clapped their hands and went just about wild.

Well, all through the circus they done the most astonishing things; and all the time that clown carried on so it most killed the people. The ringmaster couldn't ever say a word to him but he was back at him quick as a wink²¹ with the funniest things a body ever said; and how he ever COULD think of so many of them, and so sudden and so pat, was what I couldn't noway understand. Why, I couldn't a thought of them in a year. And by and by a drunk man tried to get into the ring -- said he wanted to ride; said he could ride as well as anybody that ever was. They argued and tried to keep him out, but he wouldn't listen, and the whole show come to a standstill. Then the people begun to holler at him and make fun of him, and that made him mad, and he begun to rip and tear; so that stirred up the people, and a lot of men begun to pile down off of the benches and swarm¹ towards the ring, saying, "Knock him down! throw him out!" and one or two women begun to scream. So, then, the ringmaster he made a little speech, and said he hoped there wouldn't be no disturbance²², and if the man would promise he wouldn't make no more trouble he would let him ride if he thought he could stay on the horse. So everybody laughed and said all right, and the man got on. The minute he was on, the horse begun to rip and tear and jump and cavort²³ around, with two circus men hanging on to his bridle²⁴ trying to hold him, and the drunk man hanging on to his neck, and his heels flying in the air every jump, and the whole crowd of people standing²⁵ up shouting and laughing till tears rolled down. And at last, sure enough, all the circus men could do, the horse broke loose, and away he went like the very nation, round and round the ring, with that sot laying down on him and hanging to his neck, with first one leg hanging most to the ground on one side, and then t'other one on t'other side, and the people just crazy. It warn't funny to me, though; I was all of a tremble to see his danger. But pretty soon he struggled up astraddle and grabbed the bridle, a-reeling this way and that; and the next minute he sprung up and dropped the bridle and stood! and the horse a-going like a house afire too. He just stood up there, a-sailing around as easy and comfortable as if he warn't ever drunk in his life -- and then he begun to pull off his clothes and sling²⁶ them. He shed them so thick they kind of clogged²⁷ up the air, and altogether he shed seventeen suits. And, then, there he was, slim and handsome, and dressed the gaudiest²⁸ and prettiest you ever saw, and he lit into that horse with his whip and made him fairly hum -- and finally skipped off, and made his bow and danced off to the dressing-room, and everybody just a-howling with pleasure and astonishment²⁹.

Then the ringmaster he see how he had been fooled, and he WAS the sickest ringmaster you ever see, I reckon. Why, it was one of his own men! He had got up that joke all out of his own head, and never let on to nobody. Well, I felt sheepish enough to be took in so, but I wouldn't a been in that ringmaster's place, not for a thousand dollars. I don't know; there may be bullier circuses than what that one was, but I never struck them yet. Anyways, it was plenty good enough for ME; and wherever I run across it, it can have all of MY custom every time.

Well, that night we had OUR show; but there warn't only about twelve people there -- just enough to pay expenses. And they laughed all the time, and that made the duke mad; and everybody left, anyway, before the show was over, but one boy which was asleep. So the duke said these Arkansaw lunkheads couldn't come up to Shakespeare; what they wanted was low comedy -- and maybe something ruther worse than low comedy, he reckoned. He said he could size their style. So next morning he got some big sheets of wrapping paper and some black paint, and drawed off some handbills, and stuck them up all over the village. The bills said:
            AT THE COURT HOUSE!
            FOR 3 NIGHTS ONLY!
      The World-Renowned Tragedians
        DAVID GARRICK THE YOUNGER!
                    AND
          EDMUND KEAN THE ELDER!
      Of the London and Continental
                 Theatres,
      In their Thrilling Tragedy of
          THE KING'S CAMELEOPARD,
                    OR
         THE ROYAL NONESUCH ! ! !
            Admission 50 cents.

Then at the bottom was the biggest line of all, which said:

LADIES AND CHILDREN NOT ADMITTED.

"There," says he, "if that line don't fetch them, I don't know Arkansaw!"

 他们涌上大街，朝歇朋家而去，一路上狂吼乱叫、气势汹汹，活象印第安人一般。无论
什么东西都得闪开，要不就给踩得稀巴烂，这景象可真吓人。孩子们在这群暴徒的前面拼命
乱跑，尖声喊叫，有的拼命躲开压过来的人群。沿路一家家窗口，挤着妇女们的脑袋。每一
棵树上都有黑人小孩扒在上面。还有许多黑人男男女女从栅栏里往外张望。每次只要这群暴
徒逼拢来，他们便仓惶逃散，退到老远老远的去处。
    许多妇女和女孩子急得直哭，她们几乎吓死了。
    暴徒们涌到了歇朋家栅栏前，挤挤嚷嚷，密密层层，吵得你连自己自言自语的声音都听
不清。这是个二十英尺见方的小院子。有人喊道，“把栅栏推倒！把栅栏推倒！”紧接着是
一阵又砸又打，又捣毁，栅栏也就倒了下来。暴徒队伍的前排便象海浪般冲了进去。
    正是在这么一个时刻，歇朋从里边走了出来，在小门廊前一立，手中拿着一枝双筒大
枪，态度十分镇静，从容不迫，一句话也不说。原来那一片喊叫声停了下来，那海浪般的队
伍往后缩。
    歇朋一言不发——就是那么一站，俯视着下边。那一片静默，叫人提心吊胆，毛骨悚
然。歇朋朝群众的队伍缓缓地扫了一眼，眼神扫到那里，人群试图把它瞪回去，可是不成。
他们把眼睛向下垂着，显出一派鬼头鬼脑的神气。紧接着，歇朋发出了一阵怪笑，那笑声叫
你听了很不舒服，仿佛象你正吞下掺着沙子的面包。
    然后他发话了，说得慢慢吞吞，极尽挖苦。
    “你们居然还想到了要把什么人处以私刑！这真够有趣了。居然想到你们还胆敢给一个
男子汉大丈夫处以私刑！难道只因为你们敢于给一些不幸的无人顾怜的投奔到此而被逐出家
门的妇女涂上沥青，粘上鸡毛，你们便自以为有那个胆量，敢于在一个男子汉大丈夫的头上
动手动脚？哈，只要是大白天，只要你们不是躲在人家的身背后——在成千上万你们这一号
的人手里，一个男子汉大丈夫准包会太太平平、安然无恙的。
    “难道我还不认识你们？我对你们可认识得再透也没有了。我生在南方，长在南方，我
又在北方生活过。因此，各处各地，常人是怎么回事，我全清楚。常人嘛，就是个胆小鬼。
在北方，他听任人家随意在他身上跨过去，然后回转家门，祈祷上帝让自己谦卑的精神能忍
受这一切。在南方呢，单身一人，全凭他自己的本领，能在大白天，喝令装满了人的公共马
车停下来，他就把他们全都抢了。你们的报纸夸你们是勇敢的人民，在这么大夸特夸之下，
你们就以为自己确实比哪一国的人都勇敢了——可实际上你们只是同样的货色，绝非什么更
加勇敢。你们的陪审团的审判员们为什么不敢绞死杀人凶手呢？还不是因为他们害怕，生怕
人家的朋友会在背后、会趁着黑夜里朝他们开枪——事实上，他们就是会这么干的。
    “所以他们总是投票判处犯人无罪释放。所以一个男子汉便只会在黑夜里行事，而上百
个带着面具的懦夫，便跟着前去把那个流氓处以私刑。你们到我家来的错误，是你们没有叫
一个男子汉大丈夫陪着你们一起前来。这是一项错误。另一项错误，是你们没有挑黑夜里
来，也没有带上你们的假面具。你们只是带来个小半个男子汉大丈夫——就是那边的勃
克·哈克纳斯——要不是他把你们发动了起来，你们早就奔逃得喘不过气了。
    “你们本来并不想来的嘛。常人嘛，总不喜欢惹麻烦，冒危险。你们可不愿意惹麻烦、
冒危险。不过只要有半个男子汉大丈夫——象那边的勃克·哈克纳斯那样一个人——高喊一
声‘给他处死刑，给他处死刑’，你们就不敢往后退啦——深怕因此给捉住，露出了自己的
本来面目——胆小鬼——因此你们也就吼出了一声，拖住了那半个男子汉大丈夫的屁股后
边，到这儿来胡闹，赌神罚咒说要干出一番轰轰烈烈的事来。天底下最最可怜的是一群暴徒
——一个军队便是如此——一群暴徒。他们并不是靠了他们生下来便有的勇敢去打仗的，而
是靠了他们从别的男子汉大丈夫和上级军官那里借来的勇敢打的仗。不过嘛，一群暴徒，没
有任何一个男子汉大丈夫在他们的前面，那是连可怜都谈不上了。现如今你们该做的事嘛，
就是夹起尾巴，回家去，往一个洞里钻进去。如果真要是动用私刑的话，那也得在黑夜里
干，这是南方的规矩嘛。并且他们来的时候，还得带上面具，还得带上一个男子汉大丈夫。
现在你们滚吧——把你们那半个男子汉大丈夫一起给带走”——他一边这么说，一边把他的
枪往上一提，往左胳膊上一架，还扳上了枪机。
    暴徒们突然之间往后退，纷纷夺路而逃，那个勃克·哈克纳斯也跟在他们后面逃，那样
子，真是挺狼狈的。我原本可以留下来的，只要我高兴，可是我不愿留下。
    我去了马戏团那边。我在场子后边逛荡了一会儿，等着警卫的人走过去了，然后钻进篷
帐下面。我身边还有二十块大洋的金币，还有其它的钱，不过我思量着最好还是把这钱省下
来为是。因为说不定哪一天会用得着的，既然如此这般远离了家，又人地生疏。你不能不多
留一点心眼嘛。如果没有别的办法，在马戏团上面花点儿钱，这我并不反对，不过也不必为
了这一些，把钱浪费掉啊。
    那可是货真价实顶呱呱的马戏团。那个场面真是最辉煌不过了。只见他们全体骑着马进
场，两个一对，两个一对，一位男士，一位女士，一左一右，男的只穿短裤和衬衫，脚上不
穿鞋子，也不蹬鞋，双手叉在大腿上，那神气又潇洒，又舒坦，——一共至少有二十个男的
——女士呢，一个个脸色很好看，长得挺娇美，看起来仿佛是一群地地道道的皇后，身上穿
的服饰价值几百万元以上，金钢钻一闪一闪发着光亮。这是叫人为之倾倒的场面，这般可
爱，可是我平生没有见到过的。随后他们一个个挺直身子，在马上站立了起来，围着那个圆
圈兜圈子，那么轻盈，那么微波荡漾般地起起伏伏，又极其典雅。男子显得又高又挺又灵
巧，他们的脑袋在篷帐顶下飘逸地浮动。那些女士，一个个穿着玫瑰花瓣似的衣裳，裹住了
她们的下身，正轻盈地、丝光闪闪地飘动，看上去象一把一把最可爱的小阳伞。
    随后他们越走越快，一个个跳起舞来，先是一只腿翘在半空中，然后翘起另一只腿，马
就越跑越往一边斜，领班的围着中央的柱子一圈一圈地来回转，一边挥起鞭子啪啪啪地响，
一边吼叫着“嗨！——嗨！”那个小丑便跟在他后面，说些逗笑的话。再后来，所有的骑手
撒开了缰绳，女的一个个把手背贴在臀部上，男的一个个双臂叉在胸前。这时候，只见马斜
着身子，弓起脊背，多么美妙！最后，他们一个个纵身跳下马来，跳进那个圈子里，非常美
妙地向全场一鞠躬，然后蹦蹦跳跳地退场。这时在场的一个个鼓掌，全场象发了狂似的。
    马戏团的表演，从开头到末了，全都叫人惊心动魄，那小丑从中的插科打诨，又差点儿
叫人笑死。领班每说一句，一眨眼间，他总能回敬他一些好笑透顶的话。他怎么能想得出那
么多的笑话，又能说得那么突如其来，那么恰到好处，真叫我弄不明白，哈，换了是我的
话，花一年时间，我也想不出来啊。隔了一会儿，一个醉鬼要闯进场子里去——说自己要骑
马，还说自己能骑得跟别人一样高明。人家就跟他争论起来，想不让他进去。他偏偏不听，
整个儿的演出便停了下来。大家伙儿就对他起哄，开他的玩笑，这下子可把他惹火了，惹得
他乱蹦乱骂。这样一来，大家伙儿也火了，便纷纷从长凳上站起来，朝场上涌过去，一边喊
“揍得他躺下来！把他给扔出去！”有一两个女的尖声叫了起来。这时，领班演说了几句，
说他希望不要闹出乱子来。还说只要这个男子保证不闹出乱子，他就可以让他骑马，只要他
认为自己能骑在马上坐得稳稳当当。这样，在场的一个个都乐了，说这样也行。那个人便骑
上了马。他一骑上马背，马便乱蹦乱跳，一边绕着圈儿撩蹶子，马戏班的两个人使劲拖住马
鞍子，想扶住他。那个醉鬼呢，使劲抓住了马脖子。马每跳一回，他的脚后跟便被抛向空中
一回。全场观众乐得站立起来，大喊大笑，笑得眼泪直流。临了，尽管马戏班的人想尽法
子，那匹马还是挣脱开了，疯了似地绕着场飞奔起来，醉鬼伏在马背上，使劲抓住脖子，一
只脚几乎在一边拖到了地上，接着另一只脚也差点儿拖到地上了，观众就乐得几乎发了疯似
的。对这一些，我倒并不觉得什么好玩。只是看到他这么危险，我不禁为他捏了一把汗。不
过并没有多久，他就用力一挣，跨上了马鞍，抓住缰绳，晃到这一边，又晃到那一边，坐立
不稳。再歇了一会儿，他又一跃而起，撒开了缰绳，站立在马背上啦！那只马呢，仿佛象屋
子着了火似地飞奔了起来。他笔挺地站在马背上，绕着圈子走，神态自自然然，似乎此人平
生滴酒不沾——随后他把身上衣服脱掉，然后摔掉。他脱下的衣服那么多，扔得那么快，一
时只见空中尽是一团团的衣服，他一共脱了十六件衣服。这时刻，但见他站在马背之上，英
俊，漂亮，一身打扮花哨、华丽得见所未见。他这时马鞭子一挥，在马身上使劲地抽，逼着
马拼命地跑——最后他跳下马来，一鞠躬，翩然退场，回到更衣室去，全场观众又喜又惊，
发狂地吼叫。
    到了这时候，领班仿佛才明白过来，发觉自己怎样被作弄了。据我看，仿佛他这时才知
道自己成了世上最惨的领班。原来醉汉竟是他们自己的人嘛！这一套把戏，全是他自个儿一
个人动的脑筋设计了的，并且还从未对任何人透露过。嗐，我让他作弄了一番，真是够丢人
的。不过呢，我可不愿意处在那个领班的地位，即便给我一千块大洋，我也不干。世上有没
有比这个更棒的马戏，这我并不知道，不过我从未见过。反正对我来说，这是够好的了，以
后如果在哪里遇见它，我肯定会光顾不误。
    哈，那晚上还有我们的一场好戏呢。不过观众只有十二位，刚够开销。这些人从头至尾
嗤嗤地笑个不停。这叫公爵大为光火。反正戏全部演完以前，观众一个个都走了，只留下了
一个小孩。他是睡着了。因此公爵就说，这些阿肯色州的蠢小子才不配看莎士比亚的戏呢。
他们要看的嘛，是低级趣味的滑稽剧——据他估计，也许比低级趣味的滑稽剧更低一个层次
的吧。他说他已经能摸得准他们的口味了。这样，到第二天，他搞到了一些大的包书纸和一
些黑漆，他就涂了几张海报，在全村各处张贴了起来。海报上说：
    兹假座法院大厅
    只演三晚！
    伦敦和大陆著名剧院的
    世界著名悲剧演员
    小但维·迦里克
    　　和
    老埃特蒙·基恩
    演出惊心动魄的悲剧
    《国王的长颈鹿》
    　　又名
    《王室异兽》
    门票每位五角
    海报底下用最大的字体写下了这样一行：
    妇孺恕不接待①
    “你瞧吧”，他说，“要是这一行字还不能把他们招来，就算我不了解阿肯色州的人
了。”   

　　①《文库》本注：马克·吐温曾说，“在我的一本书里——我想是《哈克贝
里·芬历险记》——我曾用了杰姆即兴讲的一个故事，题目是《一场奇耻大辱的悲剧》”，
只是“曾不得不大加删改。”另据有关资料，马克·吐温大概读过爱伦·坡的《四兽合一—
—人变长颈鹿的故事》，“君王四肢着地，爬来爬去。”马克·吐温对这样辛辣嘲讽兽化了
的国王的章句，必然十分欣赏。本书下一章写“国王”扮演的“悲剧”可能是由爱伦·坡的
故事引发的。