YES BECAUSE HE NEVER DID A THING LIKE THAT BEFORE AS ASK To get his breakfast in bed with a couple of eggs since the City arms hotel when he used to be pretending to be laid up with a sick voice doing his highness to make himself interesting to that old faggot Mrs Riordan that he thought he had a great leg of and she never left us a farthing all for masses for herself and her soul greatest miser ever was actually afraid to lay out 4d for her methylated spirit telling me all her ailments she had too much old chat in her about politics and earthquakes and the end of the world let us have a bit of fun first God help the world if all the women were her sort down on bathing-suits and lownecks of course nobody wanted her to wear I suppose she was pious because no man would look at her twice I hope I'll never be like her a wonder she didnt want us to cover our faces but she was a welleducated woman certainly and her gabby talk about Mr Riordan here and Mr Riordan there I suppose he was glad to get shut of her and her dog smelling my fur and always edging to get up under my petticoats especially then still I like that in him polite to old women like that and waiters and beggars too hes not proud out of nothing but not always if ever he got anything really serious the matter with him its much better for them go into a hospital where everything is clean but I suppose Id have to dring it into him for a month yes and then wed have a hospital nurse next thing on the carpet have him staying there till they throw him out or a nun maybe like the smutty photo he has shes as much a nun as Im not yes because theyre so weak and puling when theyre sick they want a woman to get well if his nose bleeds youd think it was O tragic and that dyinglooking one off the south circular when he sprained his foot at the choir party at the sugarloaf Mountain the day I wore that dress Miss Stack bringing him flowers the worst old ones she could find at the bottom of the basket anything at all to get into a mans bedroom with her old maids voice trying to imagine he was dying on account of her to never see thy face again though he looked more like a man with his beard a bit grown in the bed father was the same besides I hate bandaging and dosing when he cut his toe with the razor paring his corns afraid hed get blood poisoning but if it was a thing I was sick then wed see what attention only of course the woman hides it not to give all the trouble they do yes he came somewhere Im sure by his appetite anyway love its not or hed be off his feed thinking of her so either it was one of those night women if it was down there he was really and the hotel story he made up a pack of lies to hide it planning it Hynes kept me who did I meet ah yes I met do you remember Menton and who else who let me see that big babbyface I saw him and he not long married flirting with a young girl at Pooles Myriorama and turned my back on him when he slinked out looking quite conscious what harm but he had the impudence to make up to me one time well done to him mouth almighty and his boiled eyes of all the big stupoes I ever met and thats called a solicitor only for I hate having a long wrangle in bed or else if its not that its some little bitch or other he got in with somewhere or picked up on the sly if they only knew him as well as I do yes because the day before yesterday he was scribbling something a letter when I came into the front room for the matches to show him Dignams death in the paper as if something told me and he covered it up with the blottingpaper pretending to be thinking about business so very probably that was it to somebody who thinks she has a softy in him because all men get a bit like that at his age especially getting on to forty he is now so as to wheedle any money she can out of him no fool like an old fool and then the usual kissing my bottom was to hide it not that I care two straws who he does it with or knew before that way though Id like to find out so long as I dont have the two of them under my nose all the time like that slut that Mary we had in Ontario terrace padding out her false bottom to excite him bad enough to get the smell of those painted women off him once or twice I had a suspicion by getting him to come near me when I found the long hair on his coat without that one when I went into the kitchen pretending he was drinking water I woman is not enough for them it was all his fault of course ruining servants then proposing that she could eat at our table on Christmas if you please O no thank you not in my house stealing my potatoes and the oysters 2/6 per doz going out to see her aunt if you please common robbery so it was but I was sure he had something on with that one it takes me to find out a thing like that he said you have no proof it was her proof O yes her aunt was very fond of oysters but I told her what I thought of her suggesting me to go out to be alone with her I wouldnt lower myself to spy on them the garters I found in her room the Friday she was out that was enough for me a little bit too much I saw too that her face swelled up on her with temper when I gave her her weeks notice better do without them altogether do out the rooms myself quicker only for the damn cooking and throwing out the dirt I gave it to him anyhow either she or me leaves the house I couldnt even touch him if I thought he was with a dirty barefaced liar and sloven like that one denying it up to my face and singing about the place in the W C too because she knew she was too well off yes because he couldnt possibly do without it that long so he must do it somewhere and the last time he came on my bottom when was it the night Boylan gave my hand a great squeeze going along by the Tolka in my hand there steals another I just pressed the back of his like that with my thumb to squeeze back singing the young May Moon shes beaming love because he has an idea about him and me hes not such a fool he said Im dining out and going to the Gaiety though Im not going to give him the satisfaction in any case God knows hes change in a way not to be always and ever wearing the same old hat unless] paid some nicelooking boy to do it since I cant do it myself a young boy would like me Id confuse him a little alone with him if we were Id let him see my garters the new ones and make him turn red looking at him seduce him I know what boys feel with that down on their cheek doing that frigging drawing out the thing by the hour question and answer would you do this that and the other with the coalman yes with a bishop yes I would because I told him about some Dean or Bishop was sitting beside me in the jews Temples gardens when I was knitting that woollen thing a stranger to Dublin what place was it and so on about the monuments and he tired me out with statues encouraging him making him worse than he is who is in your mind now tell me who are you thinking of who is it tell me his name who tell me who the German Emperor is it yes imagine Im him think of him can you feel him trying to make a whore of me what he never will he ought to give it up now at this age of his life simply ruination for any woman and no satisfaction in it pretending to like it till ( he comes and then finish it off myself anyway and it makes your lips pale anyhow its done now once and for all with all the talk of the world about it people make its only the first time after that its just the ordinary do it and think no more about it why cant you kiss a man without going and marrying him first you sometimes love to wildly when you feel that way so nice all over you you cant help yourself I wish some man or other would take me sometime when hes there and kiss me in his arms theres nothing like a kiss long and hot down to your soul almost paralyses you then I hate that confession when I used to go to Father Corrigan he touched me father and what harm if he did where and I said on the canal bank like a fool but whereabouts on your person my child on the leg behind high up was it yes rather high up was it where you sit down yes O Lord couldnt he say bottom right out and have done with it what has that got to do with it and did you whatever way he put it I forget no father and I always think of the real father what did he want to know for when I already confessed it to God he had a nice fat hand the palm moist always I wouldnt mind feeling it neither would he Id say by the bullneck in his horsecollar I wonder did he know me in the box I could see his face he couldnt see mine of course hed never turn or let on still his eyes were red when his father died theyre lost for a woman of course must be terrible when a man cries let alone them Id like to be embraced by one in his vestments and the smell of incense off him like the pope besides theres no danger with a priest if youre married hes too careful about himself then give something to H H the pope for a penance I wonder was he satisfied with me one thing I didnt like his slapping me behind going away so familiarly in the hall though I laughed Im not a horse or an ass am I I suppose he was thinking of his father I wonder is he awake thinking of me or dreaming am I in it who gave him that flower he said he bought he smelt of some kind of drink not whisky or stout or perhaps the sweety kind of paste they stick their bills up with some liquor Id like to sip those richlooking green and yellow expensive drinks those stagedoor johnnies drink with the opera hats I tasted one with my finger dipped out of that American that had the squirrel talking stamps with father he had all he could do to keep himself from falling asleep after the last time we took the port and potted meat it had a fine salty taste yes because I felt lovely and tired myself and fell asleep as sound as a top the moment I popped straight into bed till that thunder woke me up as if the world was coming to an end God be merciful to us I thought the heavens were coming down about us to punish when I blessed myself and said a Hail Mary like those awful thunderbolts in Gibraltar and they come and tell you theres no God what could you do if it was running and rushing about nothing only make an act of contrition the candle I lit that evening in Whitefriars street chapel for the month of May see it brought its luck though hed scoff if he heard because he never goes to church mass or meeting he says your soul you have no soul inside only grey matter because he doesnt know what it is to have one yes when I lit the lamp yes because he must have come 3 or 4 times with that tremendous big red brute of a thing he has I thought the vein or whatever the dickens they call it was going to burst though his nose is not so big after I took off all my things with the blinds down after my hours dressing and perfuming and combing it like iron or some kind of a thick crowbar standing all the time he must have eaten oysters I think a few dozen he was in great singing voice no I never in all my life felt anyone had one the size of that to make you feel full up he must have eaten a whole sheep after whats the idea making us like that with a big hole in the middle of us like a Stallion driving it up into you because thats all they want out of you with that determined vicious look in his eye I had to halfshut my eyes still he hasnt such a tremendous amount of spunk in him when I made him pull it out and do it on me considering how big it is so much the better in case any of it wasnt washed out properly the last time I let him finish it in me nice invention they made for women for him to get all the pleasure but if someone gave them a touch of it themselves theyd know what I went through with Milly nobody would believe cutting her teeth too and Mina Purefoys husband give us a swing out of your whiskers filling her up with a child or twins once a year as regular as the clock always with a smell of children off her the one they called budgers or something like a nigger with a shock of hair on it Jesusjack the child is a black the last time I was there a squad of them falling over one another and bawling you couldnt hear your ear supposed to be healthy not satisfied till they have us swollen out like elephants or I dont know what supposing I risked having another not off him though still if he was married I m sure hed have a fine strong child but I dont know Poldy has more spunk in him yes thatd be awfully jolly I suppose it was meeting Josie Powell and the funeral and thinking about me and Boylan set him off well he can think what he likes now if thatll do him any good I know they were spooning a bit when I came on the scene he was dancing and sitting out with her the night of Georgina Simpsons housewarming and then he wanted to ram it down my neck on account of not liking to see her a wallflower that was why we had the standup row over politics he began it not me when he said about Our Lord being a carpenter at last he made me cry of course a woman is so sensitive about everything I was fuming with myself after for giving in only for I knew he was gone on me and the first socialist he said He was he annoyed me so much I couldnt put him into a temper still he knows a lot of mixed up things especially about the body and the insides I often wanted to study up that myself what we have inside us in that family physician I could always hear his voice talking when the room was crowded and watch him after that I pretended I had on a coolness with her over him because he used to be a bit on the jealous side whenever he asked who are you going to and I aid over to Floey and he made me the present of lord Byrons poems and the three pairs of gloves so that finished that I could quite easily get him to make it up any time I know how Id even supposing he got in with her again and was going out to see her somewhere Id know if he refused to eat the onions I know plenty of ways ask him to tuck down the collar of my blouse or touch him with my veil and gloves on going out 1 kiss then would send them all spinning however alright well seen then let him go to her she of course would only be too delighted to pretend shes mad in love with him that I wouldnt so much mind Id just go to her and ask her do you love him and look her square in the eyes she couldnt fool me but he might imagine he was and make a declaration with his plabbery kind of a manner to her like he did to me though I had the devils own job to get it out of him though I liked him for that it showed he could hold in and wasnt to be got for the asking he was on the pop of asking me too the night in the kitchen I was rolling the potato cake theres something I want to say to you only for I put him off letting on I was in a temper with my hands and arms full of pasty flour in any case I let out too much the night before talking of dreams so I didnt want to let him know more than was good for him she used to be always embracing me Josie whenever he was there meaning him of course glauming me over and when I said I washed up and down as far as possible asking me did you wash possible the women are always egging on to that putting it on thick when hes there they know by his sly eye blinking a bit putting on the indifferent when they come out with something the kind he is what spoils him I dont wonder in the least because he was very handsome at that time trying to look like lord Byron I said I liked though he was too beautiful for a man and he was a little before we got engaged afterwards though she didnt like it so much the day I was in fits of laughing with the giggles I couldnt stop about all my hairpins falling one after another with the mass of hair I had youre always in great humour she said yes because it grigged her because she knew what it meant because I used to tell her a good bit of what went on between us not all but just enough to make her mouth water but that wasnt my fault she didnt darken the door much after we were married I wonder what shes got like now after living with that dotty husband of hers she had her face beginning to look drawn and run down the last time I saw her she must have been just after a row with him because I saw on the moment she was edging to draw down a conversation about husbands and talk about him to run him down what was it she told me O yes that sometimes he used to go to bed with his muddy boots on when the maggot takes him just imagine having to get into bed with a thing like that that might murder you any moment what a man well its not the one way everyone goes mad Poldy anyway whatever he does always wipes his feet on the mat when he comes in wet or shine and always blacks his own boots too and he always takes off his hat when he comes up in the street like that and now hes going about in his slippers to look for #10000 for a postcard up up O Sweetheart May wouldnt a thing like that simply bore you stiff to extinction actually too stupid even to take his boots off now what could you make of a man like that Id rather die 20 times over than marry another of their sex of course hed never find another woman like me to put up with him the way I do know me come sleep with me yes and he knows that too at the bottom of his heart take that Mrs Maybrick that poisoned her husband for what I wonder in love with some other man yet it was found out on her wasnt she the downright villain to go and do a thing like that of course some men can be dreadfully aggravating drive you mad and always the worst word in the world what do they ask us to marry them for if were so bad as all that comes to yes because they cant get on without us white Arsenic she put in his tea off flypaper wasnt it I wonder why they call it that if I asked him hed say its from the Greek leave us as wise as we were before she must have been madly in love with the other fellow to run the chance of being hanged O she didnt care if that was her nature what could she do besides theyre not brutes enough to go and hang a woman surely are they
theyre all so different Boylan talking about the shape of my foot he noticed at once even before he was introduced when I was in the D B C with Poldy laughing and trying to listen I was waggling my foot we both ordered 2 teas and plain bread and butter I saw him looking with his two old maids of sisters when I stood up and asked the girl where it was what do I care with it dropping out of me and that black closed breeches he made me buy takes you half an hour to let them down wetting all myself always with some brandnew fad every other week such a long one I did I forgot my suede gloves on the seat behind that I never got after some robber of a woman and he wanted me to put it in the Irish Times lost in the ladies lavatory D B C Dame street finder return to Mrs Marion Bloom and I saw his eyes on my feet going out through the turning door he was looking when I looked back and I went there for tea 2 days after in the hope but he wasnt now how did that excite him because I was crossing them when we were in the other room first he meant the shoes that are too tight to walk in my hand is nice like that if I only had a ring with the stone for my month a nice aquamarine Ill stick him for one and a gold bracelet I dont like my foot so much still I made him spend once with my foot the night after Goodwins botchup of a concert so cold and windy it was well we had that rum in the house to mull and the fire wasnt black out when he asked to take off my stockings lying on the hearthrug in Lombard street well and another time it was my muddy boots hed like me to walk in all the horses dung I could find but of course hes not natural like the rest of the world that I what did he say I could give 9 points in 10 to Katty Lanner and beat her what does that mean I asked him I forget what he said because the stoppress edition just passed and the man with the curly hair in the Lucan dairy thats so polite I think I saw his face before somewhere I noticed him when I was tasting the butter so I took my time Bartell dArcy too that he used to make fun of when he commenced kissing me on the choir stairs after I sang Gounods Ave Maria what are we waiting for O my heart kiss me straight on the brow and part which is my brown part he was pretty hot for all his tinny voice too my low notes he was always raving about if you can believe him I liked the way he used his mouth singing then he said wasnt it terrible to do that there in a place like that I dont see anything so terrible about it Ill tell him about that some day not now and surprise him ay and Ill take him there and show him the very place too we did it so now there you are like it or lump it he thinks nothing can happen without him knowing he hadnt an idea about my mother till we were engaged otherwise hed never have got me so cheap as he did he was 10 times worse himself anyhow begging me to give him a tiny bit cut off my drawers that was the evening coming along Kenilworth square he kissed me in the eye of my glove and I had to take it off asking me questions is it permitted to inquire the shape of my bedroom so I let him keep it as if I forgot it to think of me when I saw him slip it into his pocket of course hes mad on the subject of drawers thats plain to be seen always skeezing at those brazenfaced things on the bicycles with their skirts blowing up to their navels even when Milly and I were out with him at the open air fete that one in the cream muslin standing right against the sun so he could see every atom she had on when he saw me from behind following in the rain I saw him before he saw me however standing at the corner of the Harolds cross road with a new raincoat on him with the muffler in the Zingari colours to show off his complexion-and the brown hat looking slyboots as usual what was he doing there where hed no business they can go and get whatever they like from anything at all with a skirt on it and were not to ask any questions but they want to know where were you where are you going I could feel him coming along skulking after me his eyes on my neck he had been keeping away from the house he felt it was getting too warm for him so I half turned and stopped then he pestered me to say yes till I took off my glove slowly watching him he said my openwork sleeves were too cold for the rain anything for an excuse to put his hand anear me drawers drawers the whole blessed time till I promised to give him the pair off my doll to carry about in his waistcoat pocket O Maria santissima he did look a big fool dreeping in the rain splendid set of teeth he had made me hungry to look at them and beseeched of me to lift the orange petticoat I had on with sunray pleats that there was nobody he Said hed kneel down in the wet if I didnt so persevering he would too and ruin his new raincoat you never know what freak theyd take alone with you theyre so savage for it if anyone was passing so I lifted them a bit and touched his trousers outside the way I used to Gardner after with my ring hand to keep him from doing worse where it was too public I was dying to find out was he circumcised he was shaking like a jelly all over they want to do everything too quick take all the pleasure out if it and father waiting all the time for his dinner he told me to say I left my purse in the butchers and had to go back for it what a Deceiver then he wrote me that letter with all those words in it how could he have the face to any woman after his company manners making it so awkward after when we met asking me have I offended you with my eyelids down of course he saw I wasnt he had a few brains not like that other fool Henry Doyle he was always breaking or tearing something in the charades I hate an unlucky man and if I knew what it meant of course I had to say no for form sake dont understand you I said and wasnt it natural so it is of course it used to be written up with a picture of a womans on that wall in Gibraltar with that word I couldnt find anywhere only for children seeing it too young then writing a letter every morning sometimes twice a day I liked the way he made love then he knew the way to take a woman when he sent me the 8 big poppies because mine was the 8th then I wrote the night he kissed my heart at Dolphins barn I couldnt describe it simply it makes you feel like nothing on earth but he never knew how to embrace well like Gardner I hope hell come on Monday as he said at the same time four I hate people who come at all hours answer the door you think its the vegetables then its somebody and you all undressed or the door of the filthy sloppy kitchen blows open the day old frostyface Goodwin called about the concert in Lombard street and I just after dinner all flushed and tossed with boiling old stew dont look at me professor I had to say Im a fright yes but he was a real old gent in his way it was impossible to be more respectful nobody to say youre out you have to peep out through the blind like the messengerboy today I thought it was a putoff first him sending the port and the peaches first and I was just beginning to yawn with nerves thinking he was trying to make a fool of me when I knew his tattarrattat at the door he must have been a bit late because it was 1/4 after 3 when I saw the 2 Dedalus girls coming from school I never know the time even that watch he gave me never seems to go properly Id want to get it looked after when I threw the penny to that lame sailor for England home and beauty when I was whistling there is a charming girl I love and I hadnt even put on my clean shift or powdered myself or a thing then this day week were to go to Belfast just as well he has to go to Ennis his fathers anniversary the 27th it wouldnt be pleasant if he did suppose our rooms at the hotel were beside each other and any fooling went on in the new bed I couldnt tell him to stop and not bother me with him in the next room or perhaps some protestant clergyman with a cough knocking on the wall then he wouldnt believe next day we didnt do something its all very well a husband but you cant fool a lover after me telling him we never did anything of course he didnt believe me no its better hes going where he is besides something always happens with him the time going to the Mallow Concert at Maryborough ordering boiling soup for the two of us then the bell rang out he walks down the platform with the soup splashing about taking spoonfuls of it hadnt he the nerve and the waiter after him making a holy show of us screeching and confusion for the engine to start but he wouldnt pay till he finished it the two gentlemen in the 3rd class Carriage said he was quite right so he was too hes so pigheaded sometimes when he gets a thing into his head a good job he was able to open the carriage door with his knife or theyd have taken us on to Cork I suppose that was done out of revenge on him O I love jaunting in a train or a car with lovely soft cushions I wonder will he take a 1st class for me he might want to do it in the train by tipping the guard well O I suppose therell be the usual idiots of men gaping at us with their eyes as stupid as ever they can possibly be that was an exceptional man that common workman that left us alone in the carriage that day going to Howth Id like to find out something about him 1 or 2 tunnels perhaps then you have to look out of the window all the nicer then coming back suppose I never came back what would they say eloped with him that gets you on on the stage the last concert I sang at where its over a year ago when was it St Teresas hall Clarendon St little chits of missies they have now singing Kathleen Kearney and her like on account of father being in the army and my singing the absentminded beggar and wearing a brooch for lord Roberts when I had the map of it all and Poldy not Irish enough was it him managed it this time I wouldnt put it past him like he got me on to sing in the Stabat Mater by going around saying he was putting Lead Kindly Light to music I put him up to that till the jesuits found out he was a freemason thumping the piano lead Thou me on copied from some old opera yes and he was going about with some of them Sinner Fein lately or whatever they call themselves talking his usual trash and nonsense he says that little man he showed me without the neck is very intelligent the coming man Griffith is he well he doesnt look it thats all I can say still it must have been him he knew there was a boycott I hate the mention of politics after the war that Pretoria and Ladysmith and Bloemfontein where Gardner Lieut Stanley G 8th Bn 2nd East Lancs Rgt of enteric fever he was a lovely fellow in khaki and just the right height over me Im sure he was brave too he said I was lovely the evening we kissed goodbye at the canal lock my Irish beauty he was pale with excitement about going away or wed be seen from the road he couldnt stand properly and I so hot as I never felt they could have made their peace in the beginning or old oom Paul and the rest of the old Krugers go and fight it out between them instead of dragging on for years killing any finelooking men there were with their fever if he was even decently shot it wouldnt have been so bad I love to see a regiment pass in review the first time I saw the Spanish cavalry at La Roque it was lovely after looking across the bay from Algeciras all the lights of the rock like fireflies or those sham battles on the 15 acres the Black Watch with their kilts in time at the march past the 10th hussars the prince of Wales own or the lancers O the lancers theyre grand or the Dublins that won Tugela his father made his money over selling the horses for the cavalry well he could buy me a nice present up in Belfast after what I gave theyve lovely linen up there or one of those nice kimono things I must buy a mothball like I had before to keep in the drawer with them it would be exciting going around with him shopping buying those things in a new city better leave this ring behind want to keep turning and turning to get it over the knuckle there or they might bell it round the town in their papers or tell the police on me but theyd think were married O let them all go and smother themselves for the fat lot I care he has plenty of money and hes not a marrying man so somebody better get it out of him if I could find out whether he likes me I looked a bit washy of course when I looked close in the handglass powdering a mirror never gives you the expression besides scrooching down on me like that all the time with his big hipbones hes heavy too with his hairy chest for this heat always having to lie down for them better for him put it into me from behind the way Mrs Mastiansky told me her husband made her like the dogs do it and stick out her tongue as far as ever she could and he so quiet and mild with his tingating either can you ever be up to men the way it takes them lovely stuff in that blue suit he had on and stylish tie and socks with the skyblue silk things on them hes certainly welloff I know by the cut his clothes have and his heavy watch but he was like a perfect devil for a few minutes after he came back with the stop press tearing up the tickets and swearing blazes because he lost 20 quid he said he lost over that outsider that won and half he put on for me on account of Lenehans tip cursing him to the lowest pits that sponger he was making free with me after the Glencree dinner coming back that long joult over the featherbed mountain after the lord Mayor looking at me with his dirty eyes Val Dillon that big heathen I first noticed him at dessert when I was cracking the nuts with my teeth I wished I could have picked every morsel of that chicken out of my fingers it was so tasty and browned and as tender as anything only for I didnt want to eat everything on my plate those forks and fishslicers were hallmarked silver too I wish I had some I could easily have slipped a couple into my muff when I was playing with them then always hanging out of them for money in a restaurant for the bit you put down your throat we have to be thankful for our mangy cup of tea itself as a great compliment to be noticed the way the world is divided in any case if its going to go on I want at least two other good chemises for one thing and but I dont know what kind of drawers he likes none at all I think didnt he say yes and half the girls in Gibraltar never wore them either naked as God made them that Andalusian singing her Manola she didnt make much secret of what she hadnt yes and the second pair of silkette stockings is laddered after one days wear I could have brought them back to Lewers this morning and kick up a row and made that one change them only not to upset myself and run the risk of walking into him and ruining the whole thing and one of those kidfitting corsets Id want advertised cheap in the Gentlewoman with elastic gores on the hips he saved the one I have but thats no good what did they say they give a delightful figure line 11/6 obviating that unsightly broad appearance across the lower back to reduce flesh my belly is a bit too big Ill have to knock off the stout at dinner or am I getting too fond of it the last they sent from ORourkes was as flat as a pancake he makes his money easy Larry they call him the old mangy parcel he sent at Xmas a cottage cake and a bottle of hogwash he tried to palm off as claret that he couldnt get anyone to drink God spare his spit for fear hed die of the drouth or I must do a few breathing exercises I wonder is that antifat any good might overdo it thin ones are not so much the fashion now garters that much I have the violet pair I wore today thats all he bought me out of the cheque he got on the first O no there was the face lotion I finished the last of yesterday that made my skin like new I told him over and over again get that made up in the same place and dont forget it God only knows whether he did after all I said to him Ill know by the bottle anyway if not I suppose Ill only have to wash in my piss like beeftea or chickensoup with some of that opoponax and violet I thought it was beginning to look coarse or old a bit the skin underneath is much finer where it peeled off there on my finger after the burn its a pity it isnt all like that and the four paltry handkerchiefs about 6/- in all sure you cant get on in this world without style all going in food and rent when I get it Ill lash it around I tell you in fine style I always want to throw a handful of tea into the pot measuring and mincing if I buy a pair of old brogues itself do you like those new shoes yes how much were they Ive no clothes at all the brown costume and the skirt and jacket and the one at the cleaners 3 whats that for any woman cutting up this old hat and patching up the other the men wont look at you and women try to walk on you because they know youve no man then with all the things getting dearer every day for the 4 years more I have of life up to 35 no Im what am I at all Ill be 33 in September will I what O well look at that Mrs Galbraith shes much older than me I saw her when I was out last week her beautys on the wane she was a lovely woman magnificent head of hair on her down to her waist tossing it back like that like Kitty OShea in Grantham street 1st thing I did every morning to look across see her combing it as if she loved it and was full of it pity I only got to know her the day before we left and that Mrs Langtry the Jersey Lily the prince of Wales was in love with I suppose hes like the first man going the roads only for the name of a king theyre all made the one way only a black mans Id like to try a beauty up to what was she 45 there was some funny story about the jealous old husband what was it all and an oyster knife he went no he made her wear a kind of a tin thing around her and the prince of Wales yes he had the oyster knife cant be true a thing like that like some of those books he brings me the works of Master Francois somebody supposed to be a priest about a child born out of her ear because her bumgut fell out a nice word for any priest to write and her a-e as if any fool wouldnt know what that meant I hate that pretending of all things with the old blackguards face on him anybody can see its not true and that Ruby and Fair Tyrants he brought me that twice I remember when I came to page 50 the part about where she hangs him up out of a hook with a cord flagellate sure theres nothing for a woman in that all invention made up about he drinking the champagne out of her slipper after the ball was over like the infant Jesus In the crib at Inchicore in the Blessed Virgins arms sure no woman could have a child that big taken out of her and I thought first it came out of her side because how could she go to the chamber when she wanted to and she a rich lady of course she felt honoured H. R. H. he was in Gibraltar the year I gas born I bet he found lilies there too where he planted the tree he planted more than that in his time he might have planted me too if hed come a bit sooner then I wouldnt be here as I am he ought to chuck that Freeman with the paltry few shillings he knocks out of it and go into an office or something where hed get regular pay or a bank where they could put him up on a throne to count the money all the day of course he prefers plottering about the house so you cant stir with him any side whats your programme today I wish hed even smoke a pipe like father to get the smell of a man or pretending to be mooching about for advertisements when he could have been in Mr Cuffes still only for what he did then sending me to try and patch it up I could have got him promoted there to be the manager he gave me a great mirada once or twice first he was as stiff as the mischief really and truly Mrs Bloom only I felt rotten simply with the old rubbishy dress that I lost the leads out of the tails with no cut in it but theyre coming into fashion again I bought it simply to please him I knew it was no good by the finish pity I changed my mind of going to Todd and Burns as I said and not Lees it was just like the shop itself rummage sale a lot of trash I hate those rich shops get on your nerves nothing kills me altogether only he thinks he knows a great lot about a womans dress and cooking mathering everything he can scour off the shelves into it if I went by his advices every blessed hat I put on does that suit me yes take that thats alright the one like a wedding cake standing up miles off my head he said suited me or the dishcover one coming down on my backside on pins and needles about the shop girl in that place in Grafton street I had the misfortune to bring him into and she as insolent as ever she could be with her smirk saying Im afraid were giving you too much trouble whats she there for but I stared it out of her yes he was awfully stiff and no wonder but he changed the second time he looked Poldy pigheaded as usual like the soup but I could see him looking very hard at my chest when he stood up to open the door for me it was nice of him to show me out in any case Im extremely sorry Mrs Bloom believe me without making it too marked the first time after him being insulted and me being supposed to be his wife I just half smiled I know my chest was out that way at the door when he said Im extremely sorry and Im sure you were

yes I think he made them a bit firmer sucking them like that so long be made me thirsty titties he calls them I had to laugh yes this one anyhow stiff the nipple gets for the least thing Ill get him to keep that up and Ill take those eggs beaten up with marsala fatten them out for him what are all those veins and things curious the way its made 2 the same in case of twins theyre supposed to represent beauty placed up there like those statues in the museum one of them pretending to hide it with her hand are they so beautiful of course compared with what a man looks like with his two bags full and his other thing hanging down out of him or sticking up at you like a hatrack no wonder they hide it with a cabbageleaf the woman is beauty of course thats admitted when he said I could pose for a picture naked to some rich fellow in Holles street when he lost the job in Helys and I was selling the clothes and strumming in the coffee palace would I be like that bath of the nymph with my hair down yes only shes younger or Im a little like that dirty bitch in that Spanish photo he has the nymphs used they go about like that I asked him that disgusting Cameron highlander behind the meat market or that other wretch with the red head behind the tree where the statue of the fish used to be when I was passing pretending he was pissing standing out for me to see it with his babyclothes up to one side the Queens own they were a nice lot its well the Surreys relieved them theyre always trying to show it to you every time nearly I passed outside the mens greenhouse near the Harcourt street station just to try some fellow or other trying to catch my eye or if it was 1 of the 7 wonders of the world O and the stink of those rotten places the night coming home with Poldy after the Comerfords party oranges and lemonade to make you feel nice and watery I went into 1 of them it was so biting cold I couldnt keep it when was that 93 the canal was frozen yes it was a few months after a pity a couple of the Camerons werent there to see me squatting in the mens place meadero I tried to draw a picture of it before I tore it up like a sausage or something I wonder theyre not afraid going about of getting a kick or a bang or something there and that word met something with hoses in it and he came out with some jawbreakers about the incarnation he never can explain a thing simply the way a body can understand then he goes and burns the bottom out of the pan all for his Kidney this one not so much theres the mark of his teeth still where he tried to bite the nipple I had to scream out arent they fearful trying to hurt you I had a great breast of milk with Milly enough for two what was the reason of that he said I could have got a pound a week as a wet nurse all swelled out the morning that delicate looking student that stopped in No 28 with the Citrons Penrose nearly caught me washing through the window only for I snapped up the towel to my face that was his studenting hurt me they used to weaning her till he got doctor Brady to give me the Belladonna prescription I had to get him to suck them they were so hard he said it was sweeter and thicker than cows then he wanted to milk me into the tea well hes beyond everything I declare somebody ought to put him in the budget if I only could remember the one half of the things and write a book out of it the works of Master Poldy yes and its so much smoother the skin much an hour he was at them Im sure by the clock like some kind of a big infant I had at me they want everything in their mouth all the pleasure those men get out of a woman I can feel his mouth O Lord I must stretch myself I wished he was here or somebody to let myself go with and come again like that I feel all fire inside me or if I could dream it when he made me spend the 2nd time tickling me behind with his finger I was coming for about 5 minutes with my legs round him I had to hug him after O Lord I wanted to shout out all sorts of things fuck or shit or anything at all only not to look ugly or those lines from the strain who knows the way hed take it you want to feel your way with a man theyre not all like him thank God some of them want you to be so nice about it I noticed the contrast he does it and doesnt talk I gave my eyes that look with my hair a bit loose from the tumbling and my tongue between my lips up to him the savage brute Thursday Friday one Saturday two Sunday three O Lord I cant wait till Monday

frseeeeeeeefronnnng train somewhere whistling the strength those engines have in them like big giants and the water rolling all over and out of them all sides like the end of Loves old sweet synnnng the poor men that have to be out all the night from their wives and families in those roasting engines stifling it was today Im glad I burned the half of those old Freemans and Photo bits leaving things like that lying around hes getting very careless and threw the rest of them up in the W C Ill get him to cut them tomorrow for me instead of having them there for the next year to get a few pence for them have him asking wheres last Januarys paper and all those old overcoats I bundled out of the hall making the place hotter than it is the rain was lovely just after my beauty sleep I thought it was going to get like Gibraltar my goodness the heat there before the levanter came on black as night and the glare of the rock standing up in it like a big giant compared with their 3 Rock mountain they think is so great with the red sentries here and there the poplars and they all whitehot and the mosquito nets and the smell of the rainwater in those tanks watching the sun all the time weltering down on you faded all that lovely frock fathers friend Mrs Stanhope sent me from the B Marche Paris what a shame my dearest Doggerina she wrote on what she was very nice whats this her other name was just a P C to tell you I sent the little present have just had a jolly warm bath and feel a very clean dog now enjoyed it wogger she called him wogger wd give anything to be back in Gib and hear you sing in old Madrid or Waiting Concone is the name of those exercises he bought me one of those new some word Icouldn't make out shawls amusing things but tear for the least thing still theyre lovely I think dont you will always think of the lovely teas we had together scrumptious currant scones and raspberry wafers I adore well now dearest Doggerina be sure and write soon kind she left out regards to your father also Captain Grove with love yrs affly x x x x x she didnt look a bit married just like a girl he was years older than her wogger he was awfully fond of me when he held down the wire with his foot for me to step over at the bullfight at La Linea when that matador Gomez was given the bulls ear clothes we have to wear whoever invented them expecting you to walk up Killiney hill then for example at that picnic all staysed up you cant do a blessed thing in them in a crowd run or jump out of the way thats why I was afraid when that other ferocious old Bull began to charge the banderillos with the sashes and the 2 things in their hats and the brutes of men shouting bravo toro sure the women were as bad in their nice white mantillas ripping all the whole insides out of those poor horses I never heard of such a thing in all my life yes he used to break his heart at me taking off the dog barking in bell lane poor brute and it sick what became of them ever I suppose theyre dead long ago the 2 of them its like all through a mist makes you feel so old I made the scones of course I had everything all to myself then a girl Hester we used to compare our hair mine was thicker than hers she showed me how to settle it at the back when I put it up and whats this else how to make a knot on a thread with the one hand we were like cousins what age was I then the night of the storm I slept in her bed she had her arms round me then we were fighting in the morning with the pillow what fun he was watching me whenever he got an opportunity at the band on the Alameda esplanade when I was with father and Captain Grove I looked up at the church first and then at the windows then down and our eyes met I felt something go through me like all needles my eyes were dancing I remember after when I looked at myself in the glass hardly recognised myself the change I had a splendid skin from the sun and the excitement like a rose I didn't get a wink of sleep it wouldnt have been nice on account of her but I could have stopped it in time she gave me the Moonstone to read that was the first I read of Wilkie Collins East Lynne I read and the shadow of Ashlydyat Mrs Henry Wood Henry Dunbar by that other woman I lent him afterwards with Mulveys photo in it so as he see I wasnt without and Lord Lytton Eugene Aram Molly bawn she gave me by Mrs Hungerford on account of the name I dont like books with a Molly in them like that one he brought me about the one from Flanders a whore always shoplifting anything she could cloth and stuff and yards of it this blanket is too heavy on me thats better I havent even one decent nightdress this thing gets all rolled up under me besides him and his fooling thats better I used to be weltering then in the heat my shift drenched with the sweat stuck in the cheeks of my bottom on the chair when I stood up they were so fattish and firm when I got up on the sofa cushions to see with my clothes up and the bugs tons of them at night and the mosquito nets I couldnt read a line Lord how long ago it seems centuries of course they never come back and she didnt put her address right on it either she may have noticed her wogger people were always going away and we never I remember that day with the waves and the boats with their high heads rocking and the swell of the ship those Officers uniforms on shore leave made me seasick he didnt say anything he was very serious I had the high buttoned boots on and my skirt was blowing she kissed me six or seven times didnt I cry yes I believe I did or near it my lips were taittering when I said goodbye she had a Gorgeous wrap of some special kind of blue colour on her for the voyage made very peculiarly to one side like and it was extremely pretty it got as dull as the devil after they went I was almost planning to run away mad out of it somewhere were never easy where we are father or aunt or marriage waiting always waiting to guiiiide him toooo me waiting nor speeeed his flying feet their damn guns bursting and booming all over the shop especially the Queens birthday and throwing everything down in all directions if you didnt open the windows when general Ulysses Grant whoever he was or did supposed to be some great fellow landed off the ship and old Sprague the consul that was there from before the flood dressed up poor man and he in mourning for the son then the same old reveille in the morning and drums rolling and the unfortunate poor devils of soldiers walking about with messtins smelling the place more than the old longbearded jews in their jellibees and levites assembly and sound clear and gunfire for the men to cross the lines and the warden marching with his keys to lock the gates and the bagpipes and only Captain Groves and father talking about Rorkes drift and Plevna and sir Garnet Wolseley and Gordon at Khartoum lighting their pipes for them everytime they went out drunken old devil with his grog on the windowsill catch him leaving any of it picking his nose trying to think of some other dirty story to tell up in a corner but he never forgot himself when I was there sending me out of the room on some blind excuse paying his compliments the Bushmills whisky talking of course but hed do the same to the next woman that came along I supposed he died of galloping drink ages ago the days like years not a letter from a living soul except the odd few I posted to myself with bits of paper in them so bored sometimes I could fight with my nails listening to that old Arab with the one eye and his heass of an instrument singing his heah heah aheah all my compriments on your hotchapotch of your heass as bad as now with the hands hanging off me looking out of the window if there was a nice fellow even in the opposite house that medical in Holles street the nurse was after when I put on my gloves and hat at the window to show I was going out not a notion what I meant arent they thick never understand what you say even youd want to print it up on a big poster for them not even if you shake hands twice with the left he didnt recognise me either when I half frowned at him outside Westland row chapel where does their great intelligence come in Id like to know grey matter they have it all in their tail if you ask me those country gougers up in the City Arms intelligence they had a damn sight less than the bulls and cows they were selling the meat and the coalmans bell that noisy bugger trying to swindle me with the wrong bill he took out of his hat what a pair of paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend any broken bottles for a poor man today and no visitors or post ever except his cheques or some advertisement like that wonderworker they sent him addressed dear Madam only his letter and the card from Milly this morning see she wrote a letter to him who did I get the last letter from O Mrs Dwenn now whatever possessed her to write after so many years to know the recipe I had for pisto madrileno Floey Dillon since she wrote to say she was married to a very rich architect if Im to believe all I hear with a villa and eight rooms her father was an awfully nice man he was near seventy always good humour well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespie theres the pyannyer that was a solid silver coffee service he had too on the mahogany sideboard then dying so far away I hate people that have always their poor story to tell everybody has their own troubles that poor Nancy Blake died a month ago of acute pneumonia well I didnt know her so well as all that she was Floeys friend more than mine its a bother having to answer he always tells me the wrong things and no stops to say like making a speech your sad bereavement sympathy I always make that mistake and newphew with 2 double yous in I hope hell write me a longer letter the next time if its a thing he really likes me O thanks be to the great God I got somebody to give me what I badly wanted to put some heart up into me youve no chances at all in this place like you used long ago I wish somebody would write me a love-letter his wasnt much and I told him he could write what he liked yours ever Hugh Boylan in Old Madrid silly women believe love is sighing I am dying still if he wrote it I suppose thered be some truth in it true or no it fills up your whole day and life always something to think about every moment and see it all around you like a new world I could write the answer in bed to let him imagine me short just a few words not those long crossed letters Atty Dillon used to write to the fellow that was something in the four courts that jilted her after out of the ladies letterwriter when I told her to say a few simple words he could twist how he liked not acting with precipit precipitancy with equal candour the greatest earthly happiness answer to a gentlemans proposal affirmatively my goodness theres nothing else its all very fine for them but as for being a woman as soon as youre old they might as well throw you out in the bottom of the ash pit.

Mulveys was the first when I was in bed that morning and Mrs Rubio brought it in with the coffee she stood there standing when I asked her to hand me and I pointing at them I couldnt think of the word a hairpin to open it with ah horquilla disobliging old thing and it staring her in the face with her switch of false hair on her and vain about her appearance ugly as she was near 80 or a 100 her face a mass of wrinkles with all her religion domineering because she never could get over the Atlantic fleet coming in half the ships of the world and the Union Jack flying with all her carabineros because 4 drunken English sailors took all the rock from them and because I didnt run into mass often enough in Santa Maria to please her with her shawl up on her except when there was a marriage on with all her miracles of the saints and her black blessed virgin with the silver dress and the sun dancing 3 times on Easter Sunday morning and when the priest was going by with the bell bringing the vatican to the dying blessing herself for his Majestad an admirer he signed it I near jumped out of my skin I wanted to pick him up when I saw him following me along the Calle Real in the shop window then he tipped me just in passing I never thought hed write making an appointment I had it inside my petticoat bodice all day reading it up in every hole and corner while father was up at the drill instructing to find out by the handwriting or the language of stamps singing I remember shall I wear a white rose and I wanted to put on the old stupid clock to near the time he was the first man kissed me under the Moorish wall my sweetheart when a boy it never entered my head what kissing meant till he put his tongue in my mouth his mouth was sweetlike young I put my knee up to him a few times to learn the way what did I tell him I was engaged for fun to the son of a Spanish nobleman named Don Miguel de la Flora and he believed that I was to be married to him in 3 years time theres many a true word spoken in jest there is a flower that bloometh a few things I told him true about myself just for him to be imagining the Spanish girls he didnt like I suppose one of them wouldnt have him I got him excited he crushed all the flowers on my bosom he brought me he couldnt count the pesetas and the perragordas till I taught him Cappoquin he came from he said on the Blackwater but it was too short then the day before he left May yes it was May when the infant king of Spain was born Im always like that in the spring Id like a new fellow every year up on the tiptop under the rockgun near OHaras tower I told him it was struck by lightning and all about the old Barbary apes they sent to Clapham without a tail careering all over the show on each others back Mrs Rubio said she was a regular old rock scorpion robbing the chickens out of Inces farm and throw stones at you if you went anear he was looking at me I had that white blouse on open at the front to encourage him as much as I could without too openly they were just beginning to be plump I said I was tired we lay over the firtree cove a wild place I suppose it must be the highest rock in existence the galleries and casemates and those frightful rocks and Saint Michaels cave with the icicles or whatever they call them hanging down and ladders all the mud plotching my boots Im sure thats the way down the monkeys go under the sea to Africa when they die the ships out far like chips that was the Malta boat passing Yes the sea and the sky you could do what you liked lie there for ever he caressed them outside they love doing that its the roundness there I was leaning over him with my white ricestraw hat to take the newness out of it the left side of my face the best my blouse open for his last day transparent kind of shirt he had I could see his chest pink he wanted to touch mine with his for a moment but I wouldn't let him he was awfully put out first for fear you never know consumption or leave me with a child embarazada that old servant Ines told me that one drop even if it got into you at all after I tried with the Banana but I was afraid it might break and get lost up in me somewhere yes because they once took something down out of a woman that was up there for years covered with limesalts theyre all mad to get in there where they come out of youd think they could never get far enough up and then theyre done with you in a way till the next time yes because theres a wonderful feeling there all the time so tender how did we finish it off yes O yes I pulled him off into my handkerchief pretending not to be excited but I opened my legs I wouldnt let him touch me inside my petticoat I had a skirt opening up the side I tortured the life out of him first tickling him I loved rousing that dog in the hotel rrrsssst awokwokawok his eyes shut and a bird flying below us he was shy all the same I liked him like that morning I made him blush a little when I got over him that way when I unbuttoned him and took his out and drew back the skin it had a kind of eye in it theyre all Buttons men down the middle on the wrong side of them Molly darling he called me what was his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it yes I think a lieutenant he was rather fair he had a laughing kind of a voice so I went around to the whatyoucallit everything was whatyoucallit moustache had he he said hed come back Lord its just like yesterday to me and if I was married hed do it to me and I promised him yes faithfully Id let him block me now flying perhaps hes dead or killed or a Captain or admiral its nearly 20 years if I said firtree cove he would if he came up behind me and put his hands over my eyes to guess who I might recognise him hes young still about 40 perhaps hes married some girl on the black water and is quite changed they all do they havent half the character a woman has she little knows what I did with her beloved husband before he ever dreamt of her in broad daylight too in the sight of the whole world you might say they could have put an article about it in the Chronicle I was a bit wild after when I blew out the old bag the biscuits were in from Benady Bros and exploded it Lord what a bang all the woodcocks and pigeons screaming coming back the same way that we went over middle hill round by the old guardhouse and the jews burial place pretending to read out the Hebrew on them I wanted to fire his pistol he said he hadnt one he didnt know what to make of me with his peaked cap on that he always wore crooked as often as I settled it straight H M S Calypso swinging my hat that old Bishop that spoke off the altar his long preach about womans higher functions about girls now riding the bicycle and wearing peak caps and the new woman bloomers God send him sense and me more money I suppose theyre called after him I never thought that would be my name Bloom when I used to write it in print to see how it looked on a visiting card or practising for the butcher and oblige M Bloom youre looking blooming Josie used to say after I married him well its better than Breen or Briggs does brig or those awful names with bottom in them Mrs Ramsbottom or some other kind of a bottom Mulvey I wouldnt go mad about either or suppose I divorced him Mrs Boylan my mother whoever she was might have given me a nicer name the Lord knows after the lovely one she had Lunita Laredo the fun we had running along Willis road to Europa point twisting in and out all round the other side of Jersey they were shaking and dancing about in my blouse like Millys little ones now when she runs up the stairs I loved looking down at them I was jumping up at the pepper trees and the white poplars pulling the leaves off and throwing them at him he went to India he was to write the voyages those men have to make to the ends of the world and back its the least they might get a squeeze or two at a woman while they can going out to be drowned or blown up somewhere I went up windmill hill to the flats that Sunday morning with Captain Rubios that was dead spyglass like the sentry had he said hed have one or two from on board I wore that frock from the B Marche Paris and the coral necklace the straits shining I could see over to Morocco almost the bay of Tangierwhite and the At!as mountain with snow on it and the straits like a river so clear Harry Molly Darling I was thinking of him on the sea all the time after at mass when my petticoat began to slip down at the elevation weeks and weeks I kept the handkerchief under my pillow for the smell of him there was no decent perfume to be got in that Gibraltar only that cheap peau despagne that faded and left a stink on you more than anything else I wanted to give him a memento he gave me that clumsy Claddagh ring for luck that I gave Gardner going to South Africa where those Boers killed him with their war and fever but they were well beaten all the same as if it brought its bad luck with it like an opal or pearl must have been pure 16 carat gold because it was very heavy I can see his face clean shaven Frseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrong that train again weeping tone once in the dear deaead days beyond recall close my eyes breath my lips forward kiss sad look eyes open piano ere oer the world the mists began I hate that istsbeg comes loves sweet ssooooooong Ill let that out full when I get in front of the footlights again Kathleen Kearney and her lot of squealers Miss This Miss That Miss Theother lot of sparrowfarts skitting around talking about politics they know as much about as my backside anything in the world to make themselves someway interesting Irish homemade beauties soldiers daughter am ay and whose are you bootmakers and publicans I beg your pardon coach I thought you were a wheelbarrow theyd die down dead off their feet if ever they got a chance of walking down the Alameda on an officers arm like me on the bandnight my eyes flash my bust that they havent passion God help their poor head I knew more about men and life when I was 15 than theyll all know at 50 they dont know how to sing a song like that Gardner said no man could look at my mouth and teeth smiling like that end not think of it I was afraid he mightnt like my accent first he so English all father left me in spite of his stamps Ive my mothers eyes and figure anyhow he always said theyre so snotty about themselves some of those cads he wasnt a bit like that he was dead gone on my lips let them get a husband first thats fit to be looked at and a daughter like mine or see if they can excite a swell with money that can pick and choose whoever he wants like Boylan to do it 4 or 5 times locked in each others arms or the voice either I could have been a prima donna only I married him comes loooves old deep down chin back not too much make it double My Ladys Bower is too long for an encore about the moated grange at twilight and vaulted rooms yes Ill sing Winds that blow from the south that he gave after the choirstairs performance Ill change that lace on my black dress to show off my bubs and Ill yes by God Ill get that big fan mended make them burst with envy my hole is itching me always when I think of him I feel I want to I feel some wind in me better go easy not wake him have him at it again slobbering after washing every bit of myself back belly and sides if we had even a bath itself or my own room anyway I wish hed sleep in some bed by himself with his cold feet on me give us room even to let a fart God or do the least thing better yes hold them like that a bit on my side piano quietly sweeeee theres that train far away pianissimo eeeeeeee one more song that was a relief wherever you be let your wind go free who knows if that pork chop I took with my cup of tea after was quite good with the heat I couldnt smell anything off it Im sure that queerlooking man in the porkbutchers is a great rogue I hope that lamp is not smoking fill my nose up with smuts better than having him leaving the gas on all night I couldnt rest easy in my bed in Gibraltar even getting up to see why am I so damned nervous about that though I like it in the winter its more company O Lord it was rotten cold too that winter when I was only about ten was I yes I had the big doll with all the funny clothes dressing her up and undressing that icy wind skeeting across from those mountains the something Nevada sierra nevada standing at the fire with the little bit of a short shift I had up to heat myself I loved dancing about in it then make a race back into bed Im sure that fellow opposite used to be there the whole time watching with the lights out in the summer and I in my skin hopping around I used to love myself then stripped at the washstand dabbing and creaming only when it came to the chamber performance I put out the light too so then there were 2 of us Goodbye to my sleep for this night anyhow I hope hes not going to get in with those medicals leading him astray to imagine hes young again coming in at 4 in the morning it must be if not more still he had the manners not to wake me what do they find to gabber about all night squandering money and getting drunker and drunker couldnt they drink water then he starts giving us his orders for eggs and tea Findon haddy and hot buttered toast I suppose well have him sitting up like the king of the country pumping the wrong end of the spoon up and down in his egg wherever he learned that from and I love to hear him falling up the stairs of a morning with the cups rattling on the tray and then play with the cat she rubs up against you for her own sake I wonder has she fleas shes as bad as a woman always licking and lecking but I hate their claws I wonder do they see anything that we cant staring like that when she sits at the top of the stairs so long and listening as I wait always what a robber too that lovely fresh plaice I bought I think Ill get a bit of fish tomorrow or today is it Friday yes I will with some blancmange with black currant jam like long ago not those 2 lb pots of mixed plum and apple from the London and Newcastle Williams and Woods goes twice as far only for the bones I hate those eels cod yes Ill get a nice piece of cod Im always getting enough for 3 forgetting anyway Im sick of that everlasting butchers meat from Buckleys loin chops and leg beef and rib steak and scrag of mutton and calfs pluck the very name is enough or a picnic suppose we all gave 5/- each and or let him pay and invite some other woman for him who Mrs Fleming and drive out to the furry glen or the strawberry beds wed have him examining all the horses toenails first like he does with the letters no not with Boylan there yes with some cold veal and ham mixed sandwiches there are little houses down at the bottom of the banks there on purpose but its as hot as blazes he says not a bank holiday anyhow I hate those ruck of Mary Ann coalboxes out for the day Whit Monday is a cursed day too no wonder that bee bit him better the seaside but Id never again in this life get into a boat with him after him at Bray telling the boatmen he knew how to row if anyone asked could he ride the steeplechase for the gold cup hed say yes then it came on to get rough the old thing crookeding about and the weight all down my side telling me to pull the right reins now pull the left and the tide all swamping in floods in through through the bottom and his oar slipping out of the stirrupits a mercy we werent all drowned he can swim of course me no theres no danger whatsoever keep yourself calm in his flannel trousers Id like to have tattered them down off him before all the people and give him what that one calls flagellate till he was black and blue do him all the good in the world only for that longnosed chap I dont know who he is with that other beauty Burke out of the City Arms hotel was there spying around as usual on the slip always where he wasnt wanted if there was a row on you vomit a better face there was no love lost between us thats I consolation I wonder what kind is that book he brought me Sweets of Sin by a gentleman of fashion some other Mr de Kock I suppose the people gave him that nickname going about with his tube from one woman to another I couldnt even change my new white shoes all ruined with the saltwater and the hat I had with that feather all blowy and tossed on me how annoying and provoking because the smell of the sea excited me of course the sardines and the bream in Catalan bay round the back of the rock they were fine all silver in the fishermens baskets old Luigi near a hundred they said came from Genoa and the tall old chap with the earrings I dont like a man you have to climb up to go get at I suppose theyre all dead and rotten long ago besides I dont like being alone in this big barracks of a place at night I suppose Ill have to put up with it I never brought a bit of salt in even when we moved in the confusion musical academy he was going to make on the first floor drawingroom with a brassplate or Blooms private hotel he suggested go and ruin himself altogether the way his father did down in Ennis like all the things he told father he was going to do and me but I saw through him telling me all the lovely places we could go for the honeymoon Venice by moonlight with the gondolas and the lake of Como he had a picture cut out of some paper of and mandolines and lanterns O how nice I said whatever I liked he was going to do immediately if not sooner will you be my man will you carry my can he ought to get a leather medal with a putty rim for all the plans he invents then leaving us here all day you never know what old beggar at the door for a crust with his long story might be a tramp and put his foot in the way to prevent me shutting it like that picture of that hardened criminal he was called in Lloyds Weekly News 20 years in jail then he comes out and murders an old woman for her mofley imagine his poor wife or mother or whoever she is such a face youd run miles away from I couldnt rest easy till I bolted all the doors and windows to make sure but its worse again being locked up like in a prison or a madhouse they ought to be all shot or the cat of nine tails a big brute like that that would attack a poor old woman to murder her in her bed Id cut them off so I would not that hed be much use still better than nothing the night I was sure I heard burglars in the kitchen and he went down in his shirt with a candle and a poker as if he was looking for a mouse as white as a sheet frightened out of his wits making as much noise as he possibly could for the burglars benefit there isnt much to steal indeed the Lord knows still its the feeling especially now with Milly away such an idea for him to send the girl down there to learn to take photographs on account of his grandfather instead of sending her to Skerrys academy where shed have to learn not like me getting all at school only hed do a thing like that all the same on account of me and Boylan thats why he did it Im certain the way he plots and plans everything out I couldnt turn round with her in the place lately unless I bolted the door first gave me the fidgets coming in without knocking first when I put the chair against the door just as I was washing myself there below with the glove get on your nerves then doing the loglady all day put her in a glasscase with two at a time to look at her if he knew she broke off the hand off that little gimcrack statue with her roughness and carelessness before she left that I got that little Italian boy to mend so that you cant see the join for 2 shillings wouldnt even teem the potatoes for you of course shes right not to ruin her hands I noticed he was always talking to her lately at the table explaining things in the paper and she pretending to understand sly of course that comes from his side of the house and helping her into her coat but if there was anything wrong with her its me shed tell not him he Cant say I pretend things can he Im too honest as a matter of fact I suppose he thinks Im finished out and laid on the shelf well Im not no nor anything like it well see well see now shes well on for flirting too with Tom Devans two sons imitating me whistling with those romps of Murray girls calling for her can Milly come out please shes in great demand to pick what they can out of her round in Nelson street riding Harry Devans bicycle at night its as well he sent her where she is she was just getting out of bounds wanting to go on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose I smelt it off her dress when I was biting off the thread of the button I sewed on to the bottom of her jacket she couldnt hide much from me I tell you only I oughtnt to have stitched it and it on her it brings a parting and the last plumpudding too split in 2 halves see it comes out no matter what they say her tongue is a bit too long for my taste your blouse is open too low she says to me the pan calling the kettle blackbottom and I had to tell her no! to cock her legs up like that on show on the windowsill before all the people passing they all look at her like me when I was her age of course any old rag looks well on you then a great touchmenot too in her own way at the Only Way in the Theatre royal take your foot away out of that I hate people touching me afraid of her life Id crush her skirt with the pleats a lot of that touching must go on in theatres in the crush in the dark theyre always trying to wiggle up to you that fellow in the pit at the pit at the Gaiety for Beerbohm Tree in Trilby the last time Ill ever go there to be squashed like that for any Trilby or her barebum every two minutes tipping me there and looking away hes a bit daft I think I saw him after trying to get near two stylish dressed ladies outside Switzers window at the same little game I recognised him on the moment the face and everything but he didn't remember me and she didnt even want me to kiss her at the Broadstone going away well I hope shell get someone to dance attendance on her the way I did when she was down with the mumps her glands swollen wheres this and wheres that of course she cant feel anything deep yet I never came properly till I was what 22 or so it went into the wrong place always only the usual girls nonsense and giggling that Conny Connolly writing to her in white ink on black paper sealed with sealingwax though she clapped when the curtain came down because he looked so handsome then we had Martin Harvey for breakfast dinner and supper I thought to myself afterwards it must be real love if a man gives up his life for her that way for nothing I suppose there are few men like that left its hard to believe in it though unless it really happened to me the majority of them with not a particle of love in their natures to find two people like that nowadays full up of each other that would feel the same way as you do theyre usually a bit foolish in the head his father must have been a bit queer to go and poison himself after her still poor old man I suppose he felt lost always making love to my things too the few old rags I have wanting to put her hair up at 15 my powder too only ruin her skin on her shes time enough for that all her life after of course shes restless knowing shes pretty with her lips so red a pity they wont stay that way I was too but theres no use going to the fair with the thing answering me like a fishwoman when I asked to go for a half a stone of potatoes the day we met Mrs Joe Gallaher at the trottingmatches and she pretended not to see us in her trap with Friery the solicitor we werent grand enough till I gave her 2 damn fine cracks across the ear for herself take that now for answering me like that and that for your impudence she had me that exasperated of course contradicting I was badtempered too because how was it there was a weed in the tea or I didnt sleep the night before cheese I ate was it and I told her over and over again not to leave knives crossed like that because she has nobody to command her as she said herself well if he doesnt correct her faith I will that was the last time she turned on the teartap I was just like that myself they darent order me about the place its his fault of course having the two of us slaving here instead of getting in a woman long ago am I ever going to have a proper servant again of course then shed see him coming Id have to let her know or shed revenge it arent they a nuisance that old Mrs Fleming you have to be walking round after her putting the things into her hands sneezing and farting into the pots well of course shes old she cant help it a good job I found that rotten old smelly dishcloth that got lost behind the dresser I knew there was something and opened the window to let out the smell bringing in his friends to entertain them like the night he walked home with a dog if you please that might have been mad especially Simon Dedalus son his father such a criticiser with his glasses up with his tall hat on him at the cricket match and a great big hole in his sock one thing laughing at the other and his son that got all those prizes for whatever he won them in the intermediate imagine climbing over the railings if anybody saw him that knew us wonder he didnt tear a big hole in his grand funeral trousers as if the one nature gave wasnt enough for anybody hawking him down into the dirty old kitchen now is he right in his head I ask pity it wasn't washing day my old pair of drawers might have been hanging up too on the line on exhibition for all hed ever care with the ironmould mark the stupid old bundle burned on them he might think was something else and she never even rendered down the fat I told her and now shes going such as she was on account of her paralysed husband getting worse theres always something wrong with them disease or they have to go under an operation or if its not that its drink and he beats her Ill have to hunt around again for someone every day I get up theres some new thing on sweet God sweet God well when Im stretched out dead in my grave I suppose Ill have some peace I want to get up a minute if Im let wait O Jesus wait yes that thing has come on me yes now wouldnt that afflict you of course all the poking and rooting and ploughing he had up in me now what am I to do Friday Saturday Sunday wouldnt that pester the soul out of a body unless he likes it some men do God knows theres always something wrong with us 5 days every 3 or 4 weeks usual monthly auction isnt it simply sickening that night it came on me like that the one and only time we were in a box that Michael Gunn gave him to see Mrs Kendal and her husband at the Gaiety something he did about insurance for him Drimmies I was fit to be tied though I wouldnt give in with that gentleman of fashion staring down at me with his glasses and him the other side of me talking about Spinoza and his soul thats dead I suppose millions of years ago I smiled the best I could all in a swamp leaning forward as if I was interested having to sit it out then to the last tag I wont forget that wife of Scarli in a hurry supposed to be a fast play about adultery that idiot in the gallery hissing the woman adulteress he shouted I suppose he went and had a woman in the next lane running round all the back ways after to make up for it I wish he had what I had then hed boo I bet the cat itself is better off than us have we too much blood up in us or what O patience above its pouring out of me like the sea anyhow he didnt make me pregnant as big as he is I dont want to ruin the clean sheets the clean linen I wore brought it on too damn it damn it and they always want to see a stain on the bed to know youre a virgin for them all thats troubling them theyre such fools too you could be a widow or divorced 40 times over a daub of red ink would do or blackberry juice no thats too purply O Jamesy let me up out of this pooh sweets of sin whoever suggested that business for women what between clothes and cooking and children this damned old bed too jingling like the dickens I suppose they could hear us away over the other side of the park till I suggested to put the quilt on the floor with the pillow under my bottom I wonder is it nicer in the day I think it is easy I think Ill cut all this hair off me there scalding me I might look like a young girl wouldnt he get the great suckin the next time he turned up my clothes on me Id give anything to see his face wheres the chamber gone easy Ive a holy horror of its breaking under me after that old commode I wonder was I too heavy sitting on his knee I made him sit on the easychair purposely when I took off only my blouse and skirt first in the other room he was so busy where he oughtnt to be he never felt me I hope my breath was sweet after those kissing comfits easy God I remember one time I could scout it out straight whistling like a man almost easy O Lord how noisy I hope theyre bubbles on it for a wad of money from some fellow Ill have to perfume it in the morning dont forget I bet he never saw a better pair of thighs than that look how white they are the smoothest place is right there between this bit here how soft like a peach easy God I wouldnt mind being a man and get up on a lovely woman O Lord what a row youre making like the jersey lily easy O how the waters come down at Lahore

who knows is there anything the matter with my insides or have I something growing in me getting that thing like that every week when was it last I Whit Monday yes its only about 3 weeks I ought to go to the doctor only it would be like before I married him when I had that white thing coming from me and Floey made me go to that dry old stick Dr Collins for womens diseases on Pembroke road your vagina he called it I suppose thats how he got all the gilt mirrors and carpets getting round those rich ones off Stephens green running up to him for every little fiddlefaddle her vagina and her cochinchina theyve money of course so theyre all right I wouldnt marry him not if he was the last man in the world besides there something queer about their children always smelling around those filthy bitches all sides asking me if what I did had an offensive odour what did he want me to do but the one thing gold maybe what a question if I smathered it all over his wrinkly old face for him with all my compriment I suppose hed know then and could you pass it easily pass what I thought he was talking about the rock of Gibraltar the way he puts it thats a very nice invention too by the way only I like letting myself down after in the hole as far as I can squeeze and pull the chain then to flush it nice cool pins and needles still theres something in it I suppose I always used to know by Millys when she was a child whether she had worms or not still all the same paying him for that how much is that doctor one guinea please and asking me had I frequent omissions where do those old fellows get all the words they have omissions with his shortsighted eyes on me cocked sideways I wouldnt trust him too far to give me chloroform or God knows what else still I liked him when he sat down to write the thing out frowning so severe his nose intelligent like that you be damned you lying strap O anything no matter who except an idiot he was clever enough to spot that of course that was all thinking of him and his mad crazy letters my Precious one everything connected with your glorious Body everything underlined that comes from it is a thing of beauty and of joy for ever something he got out of some nonsensical book that he had me always at myself 4 or 5 times a day sometimes and I said I hadnt are you sure O yes I said I am quite sure in a way that shut him up I knew what was coming next only natural weakness it was he excited me I dont know how the first night ever we met when I was living in Rehoboth terrace we stood staring at one another for about 10 minutes as if we met somewhere I suppose on account of my being jewess looking after my mother he used to amuse me the things he said with the half sloothering smile on him and all the Doyles said he was going to stand for a member of Parliament O wasnt I the born fool to believe all his blather about home rule and the land league sending me that long strool of a song out of the Huguenots to sing in French to be more classy O beau pays de la Touraine that I never even sang once explaining and rigmaroling about religion and persecution he wont let you enjoy anything naturally then might he as a great favour the very 1st opportunity he got a chance in Brighton square running into my bedroom pretending the ink got on his hands to wash it off with the Albion milk and sulphur soap I used to use and the gelatine still round it O I laughed myself sick at him that day Id better not make an all night sitting on this affair they ought to make chambers a natural size so that a woman could sit on it properly he kneels down to do it I suppose there isnt in all creation another man with the habits he has look at the way hes sleeping at the foot of the bed how can he without a hard bolster its well he doesnt kick or he might knock out all my teeth breathing with his hand on his nose like that Indian god he took me to show one wet Sunday in the museum in Kildare street all yellow in a pinafore lying on his side on his hand with his ten toes sticking out that he said was a bigger religion than the jews and Our Lords both put together all over Asia imitating him ashes always imitating everybody I suppose he used to sleep at the foot of the bed too with his big square feet up in his wifes mouth damn this stinking thing anyway wheres this those napkins are ah yes I know I hope the old press doesnt creak ah I knew it would hes sleeping hard had a good time somewhere still she must have given him great value for his money of course he has to pay for it from her O this nuisance of a thing I hope theyll have something better for us in the other world tying ourselves up God help us thats all right for tonight now the lumpy old jingly bed always reminds me of old Cohen I suppose he scratched himself in it often enough and he thinks father bought it from Lord Napier that I used to admire when I was a little girl because I told him easy piano O I like my bed God here we are as bad as ever after 16 years how many houses were we in at all Raymond Terrace and Ontario terrace and Lombard street and Holles street and he goes about whistling every time were on the run again his huguenots or the frogs march pretending to help the men with our 4 sticks of furniture and then the City Arms hotel worse and worse says Warden Daly that charming place on the landing always somebody inside praying then leaving all their stinks after them always know who was in there last every time were just getting on right something happens or he puts his big foot in it Thoms and Helys and Mr Cuffes and Drimmies either hes going to be run into prison over his old lottery tickets that was to be all our salvations or he goes and gives impudence well have him coming home with the sack soon out of the Freeman too like the rest on account of those Sinner Fein or the Freemasons then well see if the little man he showed me dribbling along in the wet all by himself round by Coadys lane will give him much consolation that he says is so capable and sincerely Irish he is indeed judging by the sincerity of the trousers I saw on him wait theres Georges church bells wait 3 quarters the hour wait 2 oclock well thats a nice hour of the night for him to be coming home at to anybody climbing down into the area if anybody saw him Ill knock him off that little habit tomorrow first Ill look at his shirt to see or Ill see if he has that French letter still in his pocketbook I suppose he thinks I dont know deceitful men all their 20 pockets arent enough for their lies then why should we tell them even if its the truth they dont believe you then tucked up in bed like those babies in the Aristocrats Masterpiece he brought me another time as if we hadnt enough of that in real life without some old Aristocrat or whatever his name is disgusting you more with those rotten pictures children with two heads and no legs thats the kind of villainy theyre always dreaming about with not another thing in their empty heads they ought to get slow poison the half of them then tea and toast for him buttered on both sides and newlaid eggs I suppose Im nothing any more when I wouldnt let him lick me in Holles street one night man man tyrant as ever for the one thing he slept on the floor half the night naked the way the jews used when somebody dies belonged to them and wouldnt eat any breakfast or speak a word wanting to be petted so I thought I stood out enough for one time and let him he does it all wrong too thinking only of his own pleasure his tongue is too flat or I dont know what he forgets that we then I dont Ill make him do it again if he doesnt mind himself and lock him down to sleep in the coalcellar with the blackbeetles I wonder was it her Josie off her head with my castoffs hes such a born liar too no hed never have the courage with a married woman thats why he wants me and Boylan though as for her Denis as she calls him that forlornlooking spectacle you couldn't call him a husband yes its some little bitch hes got in with even when I was with him with Milly at the College races that Hornblower with the childs bonnet on the top on his nob let us into by the back way he was throwing his sheeps eyes at those two doing skirt duty up and down I tried to wink at him first no use of course and thats the way his money goes this is the fruits of Mr Paddy Dignam yes they were all in great style at the grand funeral in the paper Boylan brought in if they saw a real officers funeral thatd be something reversed arms muffled drums the poor horse walking behind in black L Bloom and Tom Kernan that drunken little barrelly man that bit his tongue off falling down the mens W C drunk in some place or other and Martin Cunningham and the two Dedaluses and Fanny MCoys husband white head of cabbage skinny thing with a turn in her eye trying to sing my songs shed want to be born all over again and her old green dress with the lowneck as she cant attract them any other way like dabbling on a rainy day I see it all now plainly and they call that friendship killing and then burying one another and they all with their wives and families at home more especially Jack Power keeping that barmaid he does of course his wife always sick or going to be sick or just getting better of it and hes a good-looking man still though hes getting a bit grey over the ears theyre a nice lot all of them well theyre not going to get my husband again into their clutches if I can help it making fun of him then behind his back I know well when he goes on with his idiotics because he has sense enough not to squander every penny piece he earns down their gullets and looks after his wife and family goodfornothings poor Paddy Dignam all the same Im sorry in a way for him what are his wife and 5 children going to do unless he was insured comical little teetotum always stuck up in some pub corner and her or her son waiting Bill Bailey wont you please come home her widows weeds wont improve her appearance theyre awfully becoming though if youre goodlooking what men wasn't he yes he was at the Glencree dinner and Ben Dollard base barreltone the night he borrowed the swallowtail to sing out of in Holles street squeezed and squashed into them and grinning all over his big Dolly face like a wellwhipped childs botty didnt he look a balmy ballocks sure enough that must have been a spectacle on the stage imagine paying 5/- in the preserved seats for that to see him and Simon Dedalus too he was always turning up half screwed singing the second verse first the old love is the new was one of his so sweetly sang the maiden on the hawthorn bough he was always on for flirtyfying too when I sang Maritana with him at Freddy Mayers private opera he had a delicious glorious voice Phbe dearest goodbye sweetheart he always sang it not like Bartell dArcy sweet tart goodbye of course he had the gift of the voice so there was no art in it all over you like a warm showerbath O Maritana wildwood flower we sang splendidly though it was a bit too high for my register even transposed and he was married at the time to May Goulding but then hed say or do something to knock the good out of it hes a widower now I wonder what sort is his son he says hes an author and going to be a university professor of Italian and Im to take lessons what is he driving at now showing him my photo its not good of me I ought to have got it taken in drapery that never looks out of fashion still I look young in it I wonder he didnt make him a present of it altogether and me too after all why not I saw him driving down to the Kingsbridge station with his father and mother I was in mourning thats 11 years ago now yes hed be 11 though what was the good in going into mourning for what was neither one thing nor the other of course he insisted hed go into mourning for the cat I suppose hes a man now by this time he was an innocent boy then and a darling little fellow in his lord Fauntleroy suit and curly hair like a prince on the stage when I saw him at Mat Dillons he liked me too I remember they all do wait by God yes wait yes hold on he was on the cards this morning when I laid out the deck union with a young stranger neither dark nor fair you met before I thought it meant him but hes no chicken nor a stranger either besides my face was turned the other way what was the 7th card after that the 10 of spaces for a Journey by land then there was a letter on its way and scandals too the 3 queens and the 8 of diamonds for a rise in society yes wait it all came out and 2 red 8s for new garments look at that and didnt I dream something too yes there was something about poetry in it I hope he hasnt long greasy hair hanging into his eyes or standing up like a red Indian what do they go about like that for only getting themselves and their poetry laughed at I always liked poetry when I was a girl first I thought he was a poet like Byron and not an ounce of it in his composition I thought he was quite different I wonder is he too young hes about wait 88 I was married 88 Milly is 15 yesterday 89 what age was he then at Dillons 5 or 6 about 88 I suppose hes 20 or more Im not too old for him if hes 23 or 24 I hope hes not that stuck up university student sort no otherwise he wouldnt go sitting down in the old kitchen with him taking Eppss cocoa and taking of course he pretended to understand it all probably he told him he was out of Trinity college hes very young to be a professor I hope hes not a professor like Goodwin was he was a patent professor of John Jameson they all write about some woman in their poetry well I suppose he wont find many like me where softly sighs of love the light guitar where poetry is in the air the blue sea and the moon shining so beautifully coming back on the nightboat from Tarifa the lighthouse at Europa point the guitar that fellow played was so expressive will I never go back there again all new faces two glancing eyes a lattice hid Ill sing that for him theyre my eyes if hes anything of a poet two eyes as darkly bright as loves own star arent those beautiful words as loves young star itll be a change the Lord knows to have an intelligent person to talk to about yourself not always listening to him and Billy Prescotts ad and Keyess ad and Tom the Devils ad then, if anything goes wrong in their business we have to suffer Im sure hes very distinguished Id like to meet a man like that God not those other ruck besides hes young those fine young men I could see down in Margate strand bathing place from the side of the rock standing up in the sun naked like a God or something and then plunging into the sea with them why arent all men like that thered be some consolation for a woman like that lovely little statue he bought I could look at him all-day long curly head and his shoulders his finger up for you to listen theres real beauty and poetry for you I often felt I wanted to kiss him all over also his lovely young cock there so simply I wouldnt mind taking him in my mouth if nobody was looking as if it was asking you to suck it so clean and white he looked with his boyish face I would too in 1/2 a minute even if some of it went down what its only like gruel or the dew theres no danger besides hed be so clean compared with those pigs of men I suppose never dream of washing it from 1 years end to the other the most of them only thats what gives the women the moustaches Im sure itll be grand if I can only get in with a handsome young poet at my age Ill throw them the 1st thing in the morning till I see if the wishcard comes out or Ill try pairing the lady herself and see if he comes out Ill read and study all I can find or learn a bit off by heart if I knew who he likes so he wont think me stupid if he thinks all women are the same and I can teach him the other part Ill make him feel all over him till he half faints under me then hell write about me lover and mistress publicly too with our 2 photographs in all the papers when he becomes famous O but then what am I going to do about him though

no thats no way for him has he no manners nor no refinement nor no nothing in his nature slapping us behind like that on my bottom because I didn't call him Hugh the ignoramus that doesnt know poetry from a cabbage thats what you get for notkeeping them in their proper place pulling off his shoes and trousers there on the chair before me so barefaced without even asking permission and standing out that vulgar way in the half of a shirt they wear to be admired like a priest or a butcher or those old hypocrites in the time of Julius Caesar of course hes right enough in his way to pass the time as a joke sure you might as well be in bed with what with a lion God Im sure hed have something better to say for himself an old Lion would O well I suppose its because they were so plump and tempting in my short petticoat he couldnt resist they excite myself sometimes its well for men all the amount of pleasure they get off a womans body were so round and white for them always I wished I was one myself for a change just to try with that thing they have swelling upon you so hard and at the same time so soft when you touch it my uncle John has a thing long I heard those cornerboys saying passing the corner of Marrowbone lane my aunt Mary has a thing hairy because it was dark and they knew a girl was passing it didnt make me blush why should it either its only nature and he puts his thing long into my aunt Marys hairy etcetera and turns out to be you put the handle in a sweepingbrush men again all over they can pick and choose what they please a married woman or a fast widow or a girl for their different tastes like those houses round behind Irish street no but were to be always chained up theyre not going to be chaining me up no damn fear once I start I tell you for stupid husbands jealousy why cant we all remain friends over it instead of quarrelling her husband found it out what they did together well naturally and if he did can he undo it hes coronado anyway whatever he does and then he going to the other mad extreme about the wife in Fair Tyrants of course the man never even casts a 2nd thought on the husband or wife either its the woman he wants and he gets her what else were we given all those desires for Id like to know I cant help it if Im young still can I its a wonder Im not an old shrivelled hag before my time living with him so cold never embracing me except sometimes when hes asleep the wrong end of me not knowing I suppose who he has any man thatd kiss a womans bottom Id throw my hat at him after that hed kiss anything unnatural where we havent 1 atom of any kind of expression in us all of us the same 2 lumps of lard before ever I do that to a man pfooh the dirty brutes the mere thought is enough I kiss the feet of you senorita theres some sense in that didnt he kiss our halldoor yes he did what a madman nobody understands his cracked ideas but me still of course a woman wants to be embraced 20 times a day almost to make her look young no matter by who so long as to be in love or loved by somebody if the fellow you want isnt there sometimes by the Lord God I was thinking would I go around by the quays there some dark evening where nobodyd know me and pick up a sailor off the sea thatd be hot on for it and not care a pin whose I was only to do it off up in a gate somewhere or one of those wildlooking gipsies in Rathfarnham had their camp pitched near the Bloomfield laundry to try and steal our things if they could I only sent mine there a few times for the name model laundry sending me back over and over some old ones old stockings that blackguardlooking fellow with the fine eyes peeling a switch attack me in the dark and ride me up against the wall without a word or a murderer anybody what they do themselves the fine gentlemen in their silk hats that K C lives up somewhere this way coming out of Hardwicke lane the night he gave us the fish supper on account of winning over the boxing match of course it was for me he gave it I knew him by his gaiters and the walk and when I turned round a minute after just to see there was a woman after coming out of it too some filthy prostitute then he goes home to his wife after that only I suppose the half of those sailors are rotten again with disease O move over your big carcass out of that for the love of Mike listen to him the winds that waft my sighs to thee so well he may sleep and sigh the great Suggester Don Poldo de la Flora if he knew how he came out on the cards this morning hed have something to sigh for a dark man in some perplexity between 2 7s too in prison for Lord knows what he does that I dont know and Im to be slooching around down in the kitchen to get his lordship his breakfast while hes rolled up like a mummy will I indeed did you ever see me running Id just like to see myself at it show them attention and they treat you like dirt I dont care what anybody says itd be much better for the world to be governed by the women in it you wouldnt see women going and killing one another and slaughtering when do you ever see women rolling around drunk like they do or gambling every penny they have and losing it on horses yes because a woman whatever she does she knows where to stop sure they wouldn't be in the world at all only for us they dont know what it is to be a woman and a mother how could they where would they all of them be if they hadnt all a mother to look after them what I never had thats why I suppose hes running wild now out at night away from his books and studies and not living at home on account of the usual rowdy house I suppose well its a poor case that those that have a fine son like that theyre not satisfied and I none was he not able to make one it wasnt my fault we came together when I was watching the two dogs up in her behind in the middle of the naked street that disheartened me altogether I suppose I oughtnt to have buried him in that little woolly jacket I knitted crying as was but give it to some poor child but I knew well Id never have another our 1st death too it was we were never the same since O Im not going to think myself into the glooms about that any more I wonder why he wouldnt stay the night I felt all the time it was somebody strange he brought in instead of roving around the city meeting God knows who nightwalkers and pickpockets his poor mother wouldnt like that if she was alive ruining himself for life perhaps still its a lovely hour so silent I used to love coming home after dances the air of the night they have friends they can talk to weve none either he wants what he wont get or its some woman ready to stick her knife in you I hate that in women no wonder they treat us the way they do we are a dreadful lot of bitches I suppose its all the troubles we have makes us so snappy Im not like that he could easy have slept in there on the sofa in the other room suppose he was as shy as a boy he being so young hardly 20 of me in the next room hed have heard me on the chamber arrah what harm Dedalus I wonder its like those names in Gibraltar Delapaz Delagracia they had the devils queer names there father Vial plana of Santa Maria that gave me the rosary Rosales y OReilly in the Calle las Siete Revueltas and Pisimbo and Mrs Opisso in Governor street O what a name Id go and drown myself in the first river if I had a name like her O my and all the bits of streets Paradise ramp and Bedlam ramp and Rodgers ramp and Crutchetts ramp and the devils gap steps well small blame to me if I am a harumscarum I know I am a bit I declare to God I dont feel a day older than then I wonder could I get my tongue round any of the Spanish como esta usted muy bien gracias y usted see I haven't forgotten it all I thought I had only for the grammar a noun is the name of any person place or thing pity I never tried to read that novel cantankerous Mrs Rubio lent me by Valera with the questions in it all upside down the two ways I always knew wed go away in the end I can tell him the Spanish and he tell me the Italian then hell see Im not so ignorant what a pity he didnt stay Im sure the poor fellow was dead tired and wanted a good sleep badly I could have brought him in his breakfast in bed with a bit of toast so long as I didnt do it on the knife for bad luck or if the woman was going her rounds with the watercress and something nice and tasty there are a few olives in the kitchen he might like I never could bear the look of them in Abrines I could do the criada the room looks all right since I changed it the other way you see something was telling me all the time Id have to introduce myself not knowing me from Adam very funny wouldnt it Im his wife or pretend we were in Spain with him half awake without a Gods notion where he is dos huevos estrellados senor Lord the cracked things come into my head sometimes itd be great fun supposing he stayed with us why not theres the room upstairs empty and Millys bed in the back room he could do his writing and studies at the table in there for all the scribbling he does at it and if he wants to read in bed in the morning like me as hes making the breakfast for I he can make it for 2 Im sure Im not going to take in lodgers off the street for him if he takes a gesabo of a house like this Id love to have a long talk with an intelligent well-educated person Id have to get a nice pair of red slippers like those Turks with the fez used to sell or yellow and a nice semitransparent morning gown that I badly want or a peachblossom dressing jacket like the one long ago in Walpoles only 8/6 or 18/6 Ill just give him one more chance Ill get up early in the morning Im sick of Cohens old bed in any case I might go over to the markets to see all the vegetables and cabbages and tomatoes and carrots and all kinds of splendid fruits all coming in lovely and fresh who knows whod be the 1st man Id meet theyre out looking for it in the morning Mamy Dillon used to say they are and the night too that was her massgoing Id love a big juicy pear now to melt in your mouth like when I used to be in the longing way then Ill throw him up his eggs and tea in the moustachecup she gave him to make his mouth bigger I suppose hed like my nice cream too I know what Ill do Ill go about rather gay not too much singing a bit now and then mi fa pieti Masetto then Ill start dressing myself to go out presto non son pill forte Ill put on my best shift and drawers let him have a good eyeful out of that to make his micky stand for him Ill let him know if thats what he wanted that his wife is fucked yes and damn well fucked too up to my neck nearly not by him 5 or 6 times handrunning theres the mark of his spunk on the clean sheet I wouldnt bother to even iron it out that ought to satisfy him if you dont believe me feel my belly unless I made him stand there and put him into me Ive a mind to tell him every scrap and make him do it in front of me serve him right its all his own fault if I am an adulteress as the thing in the gallery said O much about it if thats all the harm ever we did in this vale of tears God knows its not much doesnt everybody only they hide it I suppose thats what a woman is supposed to be there for or He wouldnt have made us the way He did so attractive to men then if he wants to kiss my bottom Ill drag open my drawers and bulge it right out in his face as large as life he can stick his tongue 7 miles up my hole as hes there my brown part then Ill tell him I want #1 or perhaps 30/- Ill tell him I want to buy underclothes then if he gives me that well he wont be too bad I dont want to soak it all out of him like other women do I could often have written out a fine cheque for myself and write his name on it for a couple of pounds a few times he forgot to lock it up besides he wont spend it Ill let him do it off on me behind provided he doesnt smear all my good drawers O I suppose that cant be helped Ill do the indifferent I or 2 questions Ill know by the answers when hes like that he cant keep a thing back I know every turn in him Ill tighten my bottom well and let out a few smutty words smellrump or lick my shit or the first mad thing comes into my head then Ill suggest about yes O wait now sonny my turn is coming Ill be quite gay and friendly over it O but I was forgetting this bloody pest of a thing pfooh you wouldn't know which to laugh or cry were such a mixture of plum and apple no Ill have to wear the old things so much the better itll be more pointed hell never know whether he did it nor not there thats good enough for you any old thing at all then Ill wipe him off me just like a business his omission then Ill go out Ill have him eyeing up at the ceiling where is she gone now make him want me thats the only way a quarter after what an unearthly hour I suppose theyre just getting up in China now combing out their pigtails for the day well soon have the nuns ringing the angelus theyve nobody coming in to spoil their sleep except an odd priest or two for his night office the alarmclock next door at cockshout clattering the brains out of itself let me see if I can dose off 1 2 3 4 5 what kind of flowers are those they invented like the stars the wallpaper in Lombard street was much nicer the apron he gave me was like that something only I only wore it twice better lower this lamp and try again so as I can get up early Ill go to Lambes there beside Findlaters and get them to send us some flowers to put about the place in case he brings him home tomorrow today I mean no no Fridays an unlucky day first I want to do the place up someway the dust grows in it I think while Im asleep then we can have music and cigarettes I can accompany him first I must clean the keys of the piano with milk whatll I wear shall I wear a white rose or those fairy cakes in Liptons I love the smell of a rich big shop at 71/2d a lb or the other ones with the cherries in them and the pinky sugar lid a couple of lbs of course a nice plant for the middle of the table Id get that cheaper in wait wheres this I saw them not long ago I love flowers Id love to have the whole place swimming in roses God of heaven theres nothing like nature the wild mountains then the sea and the waves rushing then the beautiful country with fields of oats and wheat and all kinds of things and all the fine cattle going about that would do your heart good to see rivers and lakes and flowers all sorts of shapes and smells and colours springing up even out of the ditches primroses and violets nature it is as for them saying theres no God I wouldnt give a snap of my two fingers for all their learning why dont they go and create something I often asked him atheists or whatever they call themselves go and wash the cobbles off themselves first then they go howling for the priest and they dying and why why because theyre afraid of hell on account of their bad conscience ah yes I know them well who was the first person in the universe before there was anybody that made it all who ah that they dont know neither do I so there you are they might as well try to stop the sun from rising tomorrow the sun shines for you he said the day we were lying among the rhododendrons on Howth head in the grey tweed suit and his straw hat the day I got him to propose to me yes first I gave him the bit of seedcake out of my mouth and it was leapyear like now yes 16 years ago my God after that long kiss I near lost my breath yes he said was a flower of the mountain yes so we are flowers all a womans body yes that was one true thing he said in his life and the sun shines for you today yes that was why I liked him because I saw he understood or felt what a woman is and I knew I could always get round him and I gave him all the pleasure I could leading him on till he asked me to say yes and I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the sea and the sky I was thinking of so many things he didnt know of Mulvey and Mr Stanhope and Hester and father and old captain Groves and the sailors playing all birds fly and I say stoop and washing up dishes they called it on the pier and the sentry in front of the governors house with the thing round his white helmet poor devil half roasted and the Spanish girls laughing in their shawls and their tall combs and the auctions in the morning the Greeks and the jews and the Arabs and the devil knows who else from all the ends of Europe and Duke street and the fowl market all clucking outside Larby Sharans and the poor donkeys slipping half asleep and the vague fellows in the cloaks asleep in the shade on the steps and the big wheels of the carts of the bulls and the old castle thousands of years old yes and those handsome Moors all in white and turbans like kings asking you to sit down in their little bit of a shop and Ronda with the old windows of the posadas glancing eyes a lattice hid for her lover to kiss the iron and the wineshops half open at night and the castanets and the night we missed the boat at Algeciras the watchman going about serene with his lamp and O that awful deepdown torrent O and the sea the sea crimson sometimes like fire and the glorious sunsets and the figtrees in the Alameda gardens yes and all the queer little streets and pink and blue and yellow houses and the rosegardens and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as a girl where I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down Jo me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.

* 对啦[1]

因为他从来也没那么做过

让把带两个鸡蛋的早餐送到他床头去吃

自打在市徽饭店就没这么过

那阵子他常在床上装病

嗓音病病囊囊摆出一副亲王派头

好赢得那个干瘪老太婆赖尔登[2]的欢心

他自以为老太婆会听他摆布呢

可她一个铜板也没给咱留下

全都献给了弥撒

为她自己和她的灵魂

简直是天底下头一号抠门鬼

连为自己喝的那杯搀了木精的酒都怕掏四便士

净对我讲她害的这个病那个病

没完没了地絮叨她那套政治啦

地震啦世界末日[3]啦

咱们找点儿乐子不好吗

唉要是全世界的女人都像她那样可够呛

把游泳衣和袒胸夜礼服都给骂苦了

当然喽

谁也不会要她去穿这样的衣服

想必正因为没有一个男人会对她多看上一眼

她信教才信得那么虔诚

但愿我永远不会变得像她那样

奇怪的是她倒没要求我们把脸蒙起来

话又说回来啦

她的确是个受过良好教育的女人

她就是唠唠叨叨地三句话不离赖尔登先生叨

我觉得他摆脱了她才叫高兴哩

还有她那只狗

总嗅我的毛皮衣服

老是往我的衬裙里面钻

尤其是身上来了的时候

不过我还是喜欢他[4]对那样的老太婆有礼貌

不论对端盘子的还是对叫花子

他都是这样

向来也不摆空架子但也不会老是这个样儿

要是他真有什么严重的毛病

住院要好得多

那儿什么都那么干净

可我想我得催上他一个月他才肯答应

对

可医院里又会出现个护士

他会赖着不肯出院

一直到被他们赶了出来

兴许那护士还是个修女

就像他身上带着的那张下流相片上的

不过那女的跟我一样才不是什么修女呢

对

因为男人们一生病就软弱起来

净说些没出息的话

要是没有个女人照料就好不了

要是他流了鼻血

那可就不得了啦

那回在糖锥山参加合唱团的野餐会

他在离南环路不远的地方扭伤了脚

他脸上那神情活像是快要呜呼哀哉似的

那天我穿的是那件衣服[5]

斯塔克小姐给他送来了花儿

是她在筐底儿上所能找到的最蹩脚的蔫花儿

她死乞白赖非要钻进男人的卧室不可

用她那姑娘嗓门儿说话

仿佛他都快为她的缘故死啦

那么一来就再也看不到你的脸啦

他躺在床上

胡子长长了一些

更像个男子汉啦

爹也曾是这样的我就讨厌给缠绷带啦喂药唔的

当他用剃胡刀去割鸡眼大趾出血的时候

我直害怕他会害上败血症

假若害病的是我

倒想瞧瞧能得到什么样的照料

不过当

然喽

妇道人家总是隐瞒自己的病情

省得给人添所有那些麻烦

她们就是这

样的

对啦

他到什么地方去过

从他的食欲来看

这我是有把握的

不管

怎样总不会是在搞恋爱

不然的话净想娘儿们就吃不下东西啦

要不就是半夜里

在街上拉客的窑姐儿

要是他真到那儿去过

那么说什么去了饭店就左不过是他

存心蒙骗编出的一套谎话喽[6]

海因斯把我留住啦

我碰见谁来着

啊

对啦

我碰见了门顿

你记得吗

另外还有谁来着

让我想想看

我想起他那

张大娃娃脸了

他刚结婚没多久就在普尔万景画会[7]

上跟个小妞儿调起情来啦

我就把背掉了过去

他偷偷儿地溜掉啦

看上去怪害臊的

这又碍着什么事儿啦

可有一回竟然冒冒失失地向我讨起好来了

亏得他干得出

自以为了不起

大嘴巴肿眼泡儿

是我见过的天底下头号笨蛋

大家还喊他作律师呢

我可不

愿意在床上那么长篇大论的

不然的话那就是他[8]

在什么地方结交的

要不就

是偷偷搞到手的小婊子

要是她们跟我一样了解他的话

对啦

前天我去前屋

取火柴并且把报纸上迪格纳穆的讣告拿给他看的时候

他正刷刷刷地写着什么信

哪

他用吸墨纸把它盖住

假装在想什么生意上的事

那很可能就是写给某人的

那个女的必定认为他是个冤大头

因为所有的男人到了他这把年纪多少就会变成这样

尤其他现在已经快四十岁啦

所以女的就甜言蜜语尽量骗他的钱

再也没有比老傻瓜更傻的啦

接着又为了遮掩

就像往常那样吻我屁股

他究

竟跟谁干着这名堂或是老早就相好了

我一点儿也不在乎

尽管我还是想弄清楚

只要他们俩别总是在我鼻子底下

就像我们在翁塔利奥高台街的时候雇的那个浪

娘儿们玛丽[9]似的

为了教他上劲儿就垫了个假屁股

从他身上闻到了那些搽

了脂粉的娘儿们的气味

真恶心

有一两回我倒是真起了疑心

把他叫过来的

他们走来走去的难道不怕在那个部位被踢上一脚或咚地挨一下打吗[154]

女人当然意味着美

谁都知道这一点

当我们住在霍利斯街的时候

他被希利那家店解雇啦

我靠卖衣服

并且在咖啡宫胡乱弹奏[155]过活

他说我蛮可以替什么阔佬当裸体模特儿 我要是把头发披散下来

就会像那个出水的宁芙[156]吗 只不过她更年轻一些罢了

要么我就有点儿像是他收藏的那张西班牙相片上的烂婊子[157]

我曾问过他[158]

难道宁芙就老是那么着[159] 四处走动吗

我还问他

碰上了里面有着胶皮管的什么玩艺儿[160]那个词儿

他却搬出那个关于化身[161]的绕口令

他永远也不会把一件事解释得简单一些好让人家明白 接着他又去把锅底儿都给烧坏啦[162] 而这又全都是为了煎他那份腰子

这边儿的倒还没什么

他[163]总想咬住那边儿的奶头

还留着牙印儿哪

我忍不住喊起来了 他们多可怕呀

老是想伤害你

生米莉那回我的奶水真足

够喂两个娃娃的啦

那到底是怎么回事呢 他说什么我要是去给人家当奶妈每星期能挣上一英镑哩

一到早晨简直就胀得鼓鼓的

溢出来啦

寄住在二十八号的西特伦[164]家那个看上去挺文弱的学生彭罗斯[165]隔着窗户差点儿瞅见我正在那儿洗呢 不过我赶紧抓条毛巾蒙住了脸

这就是他用的功喽

让她断奶的时候

它们[166]可让我受够了罪

直到他请布雷迪大夫[167]给我开一副颠茄药才算了结 我只好叫他替我嘬一嘬 他说它们硬得很

可是比母牛的还甜还浓哪 后来他想要我把奶水挤到茶里去

他可真能胡来我敢说应该有人把他写到新闻专栏里去

我要是能记住种种事情的一半儿的话就能写成一本书

就叫它作波尔迪公子作品集吧对啦

这边儿的皮肤变得光滑多啦 他足足嘬了它们[168]一个多种头

没错儿

我看钟来着 我就像是有了个大娃娃似的 他们什么都往嘴里塞

这些男人总要从女人身上得到一切快乐

直到现在我还在感受着他那嘴巴的嘬劲儿

哦 天哪

我可得把身子摊开来

我巴不得他在这儿

要么就是旁的什么人

好叫我那么一遍又一遍地丢啊丢的 我觉得身子里面全是火

或者要是我能梦见当时他是怎么第二遍使我丢的就好了 他从后面用手指挠着我

我把两条腿盘在他身上

一连丢了有五分钟 事后我禁不住紧紧搂住他

噢 天哪

我恨不得大声喊出各种话来

操吧

拉屎啦

或随便说点儿什么

可就是别露出一副丑相

耗尽了精力脸上布满皱纹

谁晓得他心里是怎么想的呢 你可得琢磨男人的心情 谢天谢地 男人们并不都像他这样 有的人喜欢女人在搞的时候斯斯文文的

我注意到了他们的差别

他搞的时候一声不吭 我抬起眼睛那样看着他

颠鸾倒凤 头发有点儿乱啦

我从嘴唇里吐出舌头朝这个野蛮畜生伸了过去

星期四

星期五一天

星期六

两天 星期日

三天

哦

老天爷 我哪里等得到星期一呢

呋噜嘶咿咿咿咿咿咿咿呋喽嗯嗯嗯嗯

火车在什么地方拉鼻儿哪 那些火车头劲儿可真足

就像是大个儿的巨人

浑身上下翻滚着水

向四面八方迸溅 仿佛是古老甜蜜依依的情歌哦哦哦[169]的结尾

那些可怜的男人不得不整宵整宵地离开老婆和家人 呆在烟薰火燎的火车头里

今儿个天闷得透不过气儿来 幸而我把那些过期的自由人报和摄影点滴[170]烧掉了一半儿

他越来越马虎得厉害

到处撂着这类东西

剩下的我都给丢到茅房里去了

明天我就叫他替我裁出来 不然的话 把它们留到明年也不过卖个几便士罢咧 也省得他问去年一月份的报纸在哪儿所有那些旧大衣搁在那儿净添热

我也给捆起来弄到门厅外面去啦

那场雨下得 真好 感到爽快

是我美美地睡了一觉后下起来的 我觉得这儿越来越像直布罗陀啦 好家伙

那地方多热呀紧接着 地中海那猛烈的东风一刮 黑压压地像夜晚一般 闪闪发光的岩石[171]耸立在中间

跟他们认为了不起的三岩山比起来仿佛是个又高又大的巨人

东一处西一处是红色的岗亭 还有白杨树丛

统统都炎热得冒烟儿 再就是一顶顶蚊帐[172]

和一座座水槽里那雨水蒸发的气味 由于成天望着太阳

被晒得发晕

爹的朋友斯坦厄普夫人[173]送给我的那件巴黎的便宜商场[174]的漂亮衣裳整个捎色儿啦 多糟糕哇

她在上面还写着我最亲爱的狗小姐她人真好 她叫什么名字来着 上面写着 只发张明信片告诉你一声

我寄了份小小的礼物 刚洗了个痛快的热水澡感到仿佛成了一只非常干净的狗

中东佬[175]也享受了一通 她管他叫中东佬 我们非回趟直布[176]不可 好去听你唱等待和在古老的马德里[177] 他给我买的练习曲集子叫作康科恩[178] 还给我买了一条新披肩 那名词儿我叫不上来 倒是挺可心的 只不过稍微一怎么着就撕破了

可我觉得还是蛮漂亮的

你是不是老想着咱们一道吃过的美味茶点呢 我很喜欢那香甜的葡萄干烤饼和山莓薄脆

喏 我最心爱的狗小姐务必及早给我写封亲切的回信 她忘记写上对你父亲和格罗夫上尉的问候啦 怀着深深的情意

衷心爱你的赫斯特XXXXX[179]

她一点儿也不像是个已结了婚的 简直就像个姑娘 他的岁数比她大多了 这位中东佬可疼我啦 在拉利内亚[180]看斗牛的那回

他用脚踩着铁丝好让我迈过去

那回斗牛士戈麦斯[181]得了一对牛耳朵[182]

我们得穿这些衣服 到底是谁发明的呀 还指望你能走上吉利尼山[183]呢就拿那回郊游来说吧 我给胸衣箍得紧紧的 在一群人当中简直既不能跑也不能跳到一边去

所以当另外那头凶猛的老公牛开始向系着腰带前且帽子上又镶着两道装饰的斗牛士扑去的时候 我就觉得害怕啦

那些野兽般的男人们喊着

斗牛士万岁[184]

穿着漂亮的白色小披风的女人们嗓门儿也一样大

那些可怜的马儿就被撕裂开[185]

内脏都露出来啦

我一辈子也没听说过这样的事儿

对啦 当我摹仿铃巷[186]那边狗叫的时候

他总是伤心地对着我

可那条狗病了

他们后来怎样了呢

估摸着早就死啦 双双都死啦

这一切就好像罩在一层雾里 叫你感到那么苍老

那甜饼是我烤的 当然我自个儿统统吃掉啦

还有个叫作赫斯特的姑娘 我们常常比头发 我的比她的浓密

当我梳头的时候

她教我怎样将它拢到后面去

怎样一只手用一根线打个结子

我们就像堂姐妹一样

那时候我十几岁来着

刮大风的那个晚上我睡到她的床上

她用胳膊搂着我 到了早晨

我们抢起枕头来了

多有趣儿呀

当我跟着爹和格罗夫上尉到阿拉梅达散步场去听乐队演奏的时候

一有机会他就死盯着我 我最初望着教堂

接着又瞧着那一扇扇窗户

我往下一瞅

我们俩的目光碰上啦 我觉得就像一根根的针串遍全身

两眼发花

我记得事后一照镜子简直都认不出自己来啦[187] 太阳把我的皮肤晒得光艳艳的兴奋得像一朵玫瑰似的

我整宵连眼也没闭 都是由于她的缘故[188] 这并不好

然而我原是能够半截儿就打住的 她给我一本月亮宝石[189]要我读 那是我所读到的第一本威尔基科林斯的书

我还读了亨利伍德夫人的伊斯特林恩[190]和阿什利迪阿特的阴影

另一个女人写的亨利邓巴 后来我把这本书借给他了

里边还夹了张马尔维的照片 好让他明白我并不是没有[191]

她还送给了我利顿勋爵的尤金阿拉姆[192] 亨格福德夫人的美丽的摩莉[193] 我不喜欢有摩莉的那些书

就拿他[194]替我借来的那本来说吧 写的是从佛兰德来的一个女人

是个婊子[195] 她总是能偷到什么就偷什么

衣裳啦 成码的料子啦

哦 这条毛毯压在我身上太重啦 这下子就好啦

我连件像样儿的睡衣都不趁

他睡在旁边的时候都卷成了团儿

而且他还老耍着玩儿

这下子可好啦

那阵子天儿一热我就来回翻身 坐在椅子上汗水就把内衣湿透啦

粘在屁股蛋儿上

站起来身上又肥实又硬邦 再往沙发靠垫上一坐

撩起衣服一瞧 晚上足有好几吨臭虫

挂上蚊帐我连一行书都读不成

天啊

这是多咱的事呢 一晃儿好像过了好几百年啦、他们当然再也没有回来 再说她也没把地址写对 兴许她对自己那位中东佬留了点心眼儿 人们总是走掉

我们可不我还记得那天海上起着浪 一只只小船那高高的船头摆上摆下还有船上散发出的那股子气味

放假上岸的军官们一身制服我都晕船啦

他什么也没说[196]

他一本正经

我穿的是有一排纽扣的长统靴子 我的裙子给风刮得掀了起来 她吻了我六七遍 我哭了没有呢

对啦 我准是哭啦

要么就是差点儿哭了出来

当我说再见的时候 我的嘴唇直发颤 她披着为了航海才定做的一种特别讲究的蓝色披肩 有一边儿做得挺新奇的

漂亮极啦

他们走掉了以后 无聊得像鬼一样 我几乎琢磨着要逃走啦寂寞得发疯

不论呆在哪儿 怎么也安定不下心来

爹啦 姑妈啦

婚姻啦

等候[197]着 总是等候着

把他引引引到我哦哦哦这里

等候着 没法加啊啊啊快他那飞速的步伐

该死的大炮开火啦[198]

在铺子上空轰隆隆地响 尤其是在女王的寿辰

要是你不把窗户打开 就会震得什么都朝四面八方往下掉 不管尤利西斯格兰特将军[199]是谁 总归被认为是个大人物 当他下船登岸的时候 打从闹大洪水之前就在那儿担任领事的老斯普拉格[200]穿上了大礼服

可怜的人哪 其实他正为儿子服丧呢早晨就照例吹起床号

鼓声隆隆

于是那些可怜倒楣的士兵们拿着饭盒走来走去

这地方散发出一股气味

比那些穿着带兜帽的长外套前来参加利未人[201]集会的长胡子老犹太人散发的还要难闻 一遍遍的军号命令炮兵擦炮准备战斗

鸣炮 归营

携带着钥匙的卫兵开正步走来

城门上锁 还有那风笛 只有格罗夫上尉和爹在聊着洛克滩和普列文[202]

加尼特吴士礼爵士[203]和喀土穆的戈登[204]

每回他们[205]出门我都替他们点上烟斗

那个老酒鬼总是把他那搀了水的烈酒摆在窗台上

休想看到他剩下一滴酒

他抠着鼻孔 苦思冥想着旁的一些下流故事

到什么角落去讲

可我在场的时候他从来也没大意过

总找个蹩脚的借口把我从屋子里打发出去

还一个劲儿地恭维着

当然都是仗着布什密尔威士忌[206]的酒兴

可要是再来了一个女人

他也会照样说上一遍

我猜他已经把命送在马不停蹄地喝酒上头啦 过了多少年啦

真是度日如年啊

没有人给我写封信 除了我给自己塞了几张纸片寄出去的那几封 我腻烦透啦

有时候恨不得仗着我的指甲打上一场架 我竖起耳朵听那个独眼老阿拉伯人边奏着公驴般的乐器

边唏啊唏啊

啊唏啊地唱着

向你那公驴般的杂乱无章的玩艺儿致以我的全部敬意 糟糕透啦

如今我垂着双手

隔着窗户往外望 就在对面那座房子里有没有个英俊男人呢

护士们追着的霍利斯街的医科学生 我站在窗口戴上手套和帽子

表示我这就要出门啦

对方却一点儿也不懂得我的用意

他们多么迟钝啊

永远也不明白你说的话 你甚至想把要说的话印在一张大海报上让他们瞧

我竟然用左手跟他握了两次手[207]

我在韦斯特兰横街小教堂外面稍稍皱起眉头的时候他都没理会我 我倒纳闷他们那了不起的智慧是打哪儿来的

他们的脑灰质[208]全都在他们的尾巴里哪

你要是问我市徽饭店里的那些乡下骗子手们[209]的智力

他们简直糟透啦

还抵不过他们宰了卖肉的公牛和母牛呢 还有送煤的铃挡声

那个吵吵闹闹的坏蛋

总想用一张从他的帽子里掏出来的旁人的帐单来骗我

瞧他那双爪子

还有那吃喝着修理锅壶罐儿的 又有人来问今儿个有没有给穷人的破瓶子

没有客人上门

也没有邮件

除了寄给他的支票[210]和致亲爱的夫人的神奇露的广告

就只有今天早晨他那封信[211]和米莉的明信片

是啊

她给他[212]写了封信

我最近收到的一封信是谁寄来的呢 哦 是德汶太太写来的

喏 她一阵心血来潮

相隔这么多年从加拿大写信来

向我讨西红柿红胡椒[213]这道菜谱弗洛伊狄龙[214]从打写信告诉我她嫁给了一位很阔的建筑师以来就再没音信啦 要是我听到的都可信的话 他们还有所八间屋子的别墅

她父亲[215]是个非常善良的人

当时他已经快七十岁啦

总是那么好脾气

说什么

喏您呀特威迪小姐

要么就是吉莱斯皮小姐 这儿有架钢亲[216]哩

他还有全套纯银的咖啡用具装在红木餐具柜里

可却死在那么遥远的地方

我讨厌那种总是向人诉苦的人

每个人都有自己的苦恼 可怜的南希布莱克上个月去世啦

害的是急性肺炎

喏

我跟她并不怎么熟 与其说她是我的朋友

倒不如说是弗洛伊的

真麻烦 还得写回信

他说的[217]总不对头

又没个句号

就像是在讲演似的

不幸仙逝深表哀悼啦

我老写错字

把侄子写成桎子什么的

但愿他下回[218]给我写一封长一点儿的信 假若他真正爱我的话

哦

谢谢老天爷

我找到了这样一个人

他把我非常需要的东西给了我让我鼓起劲头

在这个地方你已经没有老早以前有过的那样的机会啦

我希望有谁给我来封情书

他那封写得可并不怎么样而且我还跟他说爱怎么写就怎么写

此颂台安

休博伊兰敬启在古老的马德里[219]那一套

傻女人们相信

爱正在叹气

我即将死去

不过 要是他这么写了

我猜想其中总有几分真实

管它真假

反正会叫你一整天都有个奔头

生活中时时刻刻老是有点儿什么可想望的

四下里一望仿佛是个新世界

我可以躺在床上写回信 好让他想象着我

回信短短的

只写上几个字儿

不像阿蒂狄龙[220]常常给都柏林法院的一个家伙写的那种长信

上面加了XXX的记号

那是从淑女尺牍大全[221]上抄下来的

最后他还是把她一脚踹开啦

当时我就跟她说过

信里只写上几句简单的话就成啦

随他琢磨去

其实就是提醒她

做事不要太轻率

对男方的求婚

要以同样的坦率答应下来

这样就可以得到世上最大的幸福

天哪

没有旁的办法

对他们来说

什么都蛮好

可女人呢

刚一上了岁数就会被他们丢到灰坑底儿上去啦。

第一封是马尔维给我的

那天早晨我还躺在床上哪

鲁维奥大娘[222]把它和咖啡一道送来啦

她呆呆地站在那儿

我想用发夹来拆信

并用手指着它们[223]

可怎么也想不起赫尔奇拉这个字儿啦

好个倔巴巴的老家伙 那发夹不是正瞪着她的脸吗

戴着她那副假发

真是个丑八怪

还怪臭美呢 都快要八十或者一百岁啦

满脸皱纹

尽管虔诚

可什么都得听她说了算 有件事她怎么也想不通

尽管有那么多国境警备兵[224]

可占全世界军舰半数的大西洋舰队竟然还开了来

英国国旗飘扬着

因为四个喝醉了酒的英国水手就把整个儿岩石从他们手里夺了去

又因为除非有结婚仪式

我陪着围起披肩的她跑到圣母玛利亚教堂[225]去望弥撒的次数不够勤

她就不高兴

她净讲圣人和穿银色衣服的黑发圣母玛利亚所显示的那些奇迹

还说在复活节的星期日早晨

太阳跳跃过三回[226]

当神父随着铃声给快要咽气的人送梵蒂冈[227]一路走过去的时候

她为圣体划了个十字

他[228]署名一个仰慕者

我高兴得几乎跳了起来

我从卡尔里尔[229]的橱窗里看见他在紧紧跟随着我

我就有心跟他吊上

他走过去的时候轻轻地挨了我一下

可是我再也没有想到他会写信来跟我定约会我把这封信在衬裙的乳褡里塞了一整天

当爹出去操练的时候见幽暗的地方和旮旯儿就躲起来读着

一心想从笔迹和邮票上的语言[230]中发现点儿什么

记得一直在唱着

我戴一朵白玫瑰好呢[231]

我甚至想把那座老掉牙的笨钟拨快一点儿

他是头一个亲我的男人

在摩尔墙脚下[232]

我的情人儿 年少的时候[233]我还从来也没想过亲嘴儿是怎么回事呢

直到他把舌头伸到我嘴里

他的嘴是那么甜那么年轻

我把膝盖朝他凑上去几回

好学会怎么亲嘴儿

我对他说什么来着

我告诉他

为了好玩儿

我已经跟一个西班牙贵族的儿子订婚啦

名叫堂米格尔德拉弗罗拉[234]

而且他还信以为真啦 还说不出三年我就要跟那个人结婚

开玩笑往往会说出不少真话来

有一朵盛开的花[235]

关于我自己我倒是对他说了几句老实话

好让他去想象

他并不喜欢那些西班牙姑娘

大概她们当中有一位甩了他

我让他兴奋起来他把他带给我的花儿在我的胸前统统给压碎啦

他不会数比塞塔和佩拉葛达[236]

还是我教会他的呢

他说他出身于卡波奎因[237]

在黑水边儿上

可是日子过得大快啦

他走的前一天五月

对啦

是五月

西班牙的娃娃皇上[238]诞生的月份

一到春天我就总是那样儿

我巴不得每年都有一个新的人儿

高高地爬到奥哈拉塔[239]附近的岩炮底下

我告诉他那给雷劈啦

还有关于他们给送到克拉珀姆去的老叟猴[240]的所有那些故事

猴子们没有尾巴

相互驮在背上飞快地跑来跑去给人家看

鲁维奥大娘说

有一只直布罗陀土生土长的老母猴儿

从英塞斯农场[241]把小鸡儿抓走

你一靠近

它就朝你扔石头 他正朝我[242]望着为了尽量鼓励他

但又做得不至于太露骨

我穿的是那件敞着前胸的白罩衫

它们变得丰满起来

我说我累啦我们就在冷杉坳[243]上边躺下来了

那是个荒凉的地方

我想那准是天底下最高的岩石

有坑道和隐蔽炮台[244]

还有那些可怕的岩礁和圣迈克尔岩洞[245]

倒挂着冰柱 或者随他们怎么去叫吧

还架着梯子[246]

我的长统靴溅满了泥点子

那些猴子死的时候准就是沿着这条路穿过海底去非洲的[247]

远处海面上的船就像薄薄的木片儿

开过去的是马耳他船[248]

对啦

海洋和天空

你简直可以永远躺在那儿 爱干什么干什么

他隔着衣服[249]温存地抚摩着 他们就爱这么做

冲的就是那圆鼓鼓的劲儿

我从上面偎依着他

为了把我那顶白稻秸帽儿弄旧一点儿

把它戴在头上

我的左半边脸最好看

由于这是他的最后一天

我的罩衫是敞着的

他穿的是一种透明的衬衫

我瞧得见他粉嘟噜儿的皮肤

他求我让他的那个稍微碰我的一下

可我没答应

起初他挺恼火 我害怕呀

谁知道会不会传染上肺病

要么让我怀上孕[250] 给我留下个娃娃呢

那个老女佣伊内丝告诉我

哪怕只掉进那么一滴去也够呛

后来我用一只香蕉试了试

但是我又担心它会折在我身子里面

找不到啦

对啦 因为有一回他们从一个女人身子里取出一块什么

已经在那儿呆了好几年

上头巴满了石灰盐

他们全都发了疯似地想钻进自己原先出来的那个地方

你总以为决不至于进得那么深

他们也不知怎么一来就已经跟你干完了

只等下一回吧

对啦

因为有那么一种美妙的感觉

始终是那么温存

我们是怎么完事儿的来着

对啦

哦

对啦

我把他那个拽到我的手绢儿里

假装作不那么兴奋的样儿

可我还是把两条腿叉开啦

我不许他摸我的衬裙里面 因为我那条裙子是侧面开衩儿的

我可把他折磨得没了魂儿

先挑动他

我就爱挑逗饭店里的那条狗

噜嘶特啊喔克喔克啊喔克

他闭着眼睛

一只鸟儿在我们下面飞着

他羞答答的

可我就是喜欢那天早晨他那副样子

当我像那么样伏在他身上

解开他的纽扣儿

掏出他那个并且把皮往后拽了拽的时候

我弄得他稍微涨红了脸

那物儿像是长着眼睛

男人们下半身统统都是纽扣儿

他管我叫摩莉我的乖[251]

他叫什么名字[252]来着

杰克 乔 是哈里马尔维吧

对啦

我估计他是个中尉

白白净净的

他有一副乐呵呵的嗓音于是我就把那物儿整个儿抚摩了一遍

那物儿就是一切的一切他还留着口髭哩

说他会回来的

天哪

对我来说简直就像是昨天的事儿哩

还说 即便我已经结了婚

他也还会跟我干那个的

我曾答应他说

好吧[253]

一定的 现在我会让他[254]飞快地操我一通

也许他已经死掉了

要么阵亡啦 要么就当上了一名上尉或者海军上将

快二十年啦

我要是说声冷杉坳

他马上就会[255]

要是他从背后走过来

用手蒙住我的眼睛让我猜

我会觉察得出那就是他

他还年轻着哪

四十来岁

也许娶了个黑水河边上的姑娘

并且完全变样儿啦

男人们都是那个德行

男人们连女人的一半儿个性都没有 她一点儿也不会晓得我跟她那位亲爱的丈夫都干过些什么

那时候他连做梦也没想到过她呢

而且又是在光天化日之下

说是当着全世界的面儿也未尝不可以足够让他们写成一篇文章登在新闻报[256]上的了

事后我有点撒野啦

我把贝纳迪兄弟[257]那个装过饼干的旧纸袋吹得鼓鼓的把它拍裂啦

天哪

砰的一声好响啊

山鹬和鸽子全都尖叫起来我们沿着原路走回去

翻过中间那座山 绕过从前的卫兵房和犹太人坟地

还假装念着希伯来文的墓志铭

我想用他的手枪开上一枪

他说他没带在身上

他简直捉摸不透我

不论我替他扶正多少遍

他总歪戴着那顶有遮檐的便帽

HMS卡吕蒲索[258]摇晃着我的帽子

那位老主教[259]从祭坛

上长篇大论地讲着道妇女应尽的更高职责啦

如今姑娘们骑起自行车来

还戴上尖儿帽

穿什么时新的布卢姆尔套装啦

天主啊 请赐给他理智并且赐给我更多的金钱吧

我猜想那是跟着他起的名儿[260]

我再也没想到布卢姆会成为我的姓

我曾一遍遍地把它写成印刷字体看看要是印成名片是什么样子

或是向肉铺订货的时候练练笔摩布卢姆敬具

我跟他[261]结婚后

乔西[262]常说

你好像一朵正在盛开的花儿[263]

哦

总比布林或偷东西[264]的布里格斯强

要么就是那些带着屁股这个词儿的讨厌的姓

拉姆斯巴托姆[265]太太或其他一种巴托姆

我也不会迷恋上马尔维这个姓

或者假若我跟他[266]离了婚

那我就会当上博伊兰太太啦

不论我妈是个什么人 既然她自己有露妮塔拉蕾多这么个可爱的名字

老天爷也总该给我取个好一点的名字嘛

我们拐来拐去

绕过杰赛后身

沿着威利斯路跑向欧罗巴岬[267] 像米莉身上那样的一对小东西[268]在我的罩衫下面晃啊跳啊的

如今当她跑上楼梯的时候我就爱低头看着它们

我朝着胡椒树和白杨树往上一蹿

拽下一片片叶子朝他扔过去

他到印度去啦[269]

说是要给我来信告诉我航海的事 这些男人要在地球上来回转

趁着他们还能做到

起码也应搂抱一两下女人 一出发不定在什么地方就淹死或给炸飞啦

那个星期天早晨我跟如今死了的鲁维奥斯上尉爬到风车山那块平地上去啦

他那架小型望远镜就像是哨兵携带的那种 他要从船上弄一两架来

我穿的是巴黎的便宜商场[270]那件衣裳

戴着那串珊瑚项链儿

海峡一闪闪地发亮

我隔着它一直能望到摩洛哥

并且几乎能眺望到白色的丹吉尔湾和蒙着雪的阿特拉斯山[271]

海峡就像条河一样

那么清澈 哈里

摩莉我的乖[272]

打那以后我总想念着在海上的他[273]

望弥撒举扬圣体的时候

我的衬裙开始滑溜下来了

我把那块手绢儿在我的枕头底下保存了好几个星期

为的是闻他身上那股气味[273]

在直布罗陀买不到像样儿的香水儿

只有一种便宜的西班牙皮肤[274]

很快就走了味儿啦

反倒会留下一股臭气

我想给他一件念物

为了图个吉利

他给了我一只做工粗俗的克拉达戒指[275]

加德纳到南非去的时候

我把那戒指送给了他

那儿的布尔人用战争和热病要了他的命

可他们还是照样打败了

它就像是蛋白石或珍珠似的带来了厄运

那准是十八凯[276]的纯金

因为重得很哪[277]我可以看到他那刮得光滑的脸

呋噜嘶咿咿咿咿咿呋啷

那列火车又发出了哭腔 可怀恋的往昔哟 岁月一去不复唔

返[278]

我闭上眼睛

呼吸

嘴唇朝前凑

亲嘴儿

一副悲伤的神情睁开眼睛

微弱地

当雾降落人世前[279]

我就讨厌雾降这个地方

传来了甜蜜的情歌[280]

哦哦哦哦哦

我下回再站在脚灯前的时候 要放开嗓子唱这一段

凯思琳卡尼[281]和她那帮尖嗓门儿的这位小姐那位小姐另一位小姐

一群麻雀屁咭咭喳喳地傻笑着

扯着一点儿都不懂的政治

显得她们多么有趣儿

爱尔兰土产的美人儿

我是军人的闺女 你们的爹又是啥人呢 靴匠和酒馆老板

请原谅

你乘的原来是四轮马车呀

我还只当是独轮手推车呢[282]

那些娘儿们要是哪天有机会像我那样

在演奏会晚上挎着军官的胳膊在阿拉梅达散步

腿一软就会跌在地上送了命我的两眼发光

还有我那胸脯 她们缺乏那股热呼劲儿

天主可怜她们那傻脑筋吧

我十五岁的时候对男人和人生所懂得的比她们所有这些人五十岁时才知道的还要多

她们不晓得该咋唱那样一首歌

加德纳[283]说

随便哪个男人只要看见了我的嘴和牙齿还有我那种笑容

就非联想到那个不可

起初我直担心他会不喜欢[284]我的发音

他是那么地道的英国味儿

这是爹留给我的一切

尽管还有那些邮票

反正我的眼睛和身材赶妈妈

他老是说

他们是多么神气

有些人就是下流

他一点也不是那样

他确实迷上了我的嘴唇

让她们先去找个像样儿的丈夫吧

再养个像我女儿那样的闺女

然后再瞧瞧她们能不能教博伊兰那样一个对任何女人都能够挑挑拣拣的时髦阔少上起劲儿来

紧紧搂抱丢它个四五回

要么就拿嗓子来说吧 要不是嫁给了他[285]

我本来蛮可以当上首席女歌手的

传来了古老甜 低沉的声音

收拢下巴

可别收得太紧

免得出现双下巴

我太太的闺房[286]太长啦

观众不会要求你重唱

关于黎明时分围着壕沟的庄园和有着拱顶的房间 对啦

我要唱南方刮来的风[287]

他是在通往合唱队席位的台阶上干了那档子事后唱的

我要把那件黑罩衫上的花边儿换一下

好让奶头更显眼些

我还要 对啦

我得把那个大扇子修理好了

让那帮人眼红得要命

只要一想到他[288］ 我那个眼儿就总是发痒

我憋不住啦

觉得里面有股气儿

还是放掉的好

不要吵醒他[289]

省得他再来那一套

我已经把肚子后背和侧腹都洗干净啦

可别让他把我弄得浑身是口水

哪怕我们有个洗澡间也好哇

或是我自己能单独有个房间

不管怎样 我希望他自个儿能睡一张床

那样就不至于把他那双冰冷的脚丫子压在我身上啦

天主啊

哪怕给我们一块能够放屁的地方呢 要么稍微放松动点儿

对啦

像这样憋着 稍微侧着身子

微弱地[290]

悄悄地

嘶喂咿咿咿咿咿

这是远处的火车

极弱地[291]咿咿咿咿咿

再来一支歌儿

这下子可松快啦

不论你呆在哪里

放屁尽随你的意[292]难道是干完了之后我就着一杯茶吃下去的猪排在作怪吗

由于天气热不怎么新鲜了吧

我倒是一点也没闻出什么来

我敢说猪肉铺那个长得古里古怪的家伙[293]是个大骗子 我希望那盏灯没冒烟儿

那会叫我的鼻子堵满煤烟子

可也总比他整宵点着煤气灯强

在直布罗陀的时候我躺在床上总是睡不消停

就是得爬起来瞧个分明 关于这一点

我怎么会敏感得这么历害呢

不过一到冬天

我就喜爱上它啦 觉得有个伴儿

哦

老天爷

那年冬天可冷得蝎虎

那时候我才十来岁

是吗

对啦

我有个大娃娃一会儿把那些稀奇古怪的衣服都给它穿上

一会儿又一件件地扒下来

冰冷的风从山上飕飕地刮过来

什么内华达来着

希拉内华达[294] 我穿着一小件短汗衫

站在炉火跟前

是爬起来取暖的

我就爱穿着汗衫满屋子跳舞

后来又飞快地跑回床上

夏天的时候对面那所房子里那个家伙准是把灯熄啦

经常一直守在那儿

我呢

赤条条地跳来跳去 我常常喜欢站在脸盆架跟前

脱光了衣服轻轻地拍一拍

要么就抹点儿雪花膏 不过使用便器的时候我也总会把灯灭了

我们俩曾这么躺来着

这一夜我就甭打算睡啦

不管怎样

我希望他[295]可别跟那帮医科学生打得火热他们会教他走上邪路

让他以为自己又年轻起来啦

早晨四点钟才回家

准是四点

要不是更晚的话

不过

他总算还懂得规矩

没把我吵醒

亏得他们能找到那么多话题

絮絮叨叨居然聊上一宵

乱花钱

喝得越来越醉

难道他们就不能喝白水吗

然后他就对咱点起菜来啦

要吃鸡蛋喝茶

还要芬顿黑线鳕和烤得热热的面包抹黄油

我想他会像一国之王似的在床上欠起身来倒提着调羹对着鸡蛋使劲儿地抡上抡下

这一套到底是从哪儿学来的呢

我就爱听他早晨端着托盘

那一个个杯子咯嗒咯嗒响成一片

跌跌撞撞地爬上楼梯

还有他逗猫的声音

猫儿是为了图自个儿舒坦才往你身上蹭啊蹭的

不晓得它身上长没长跳蚤

猫儿简直跟女人一样坏

老是舔啊舔的都给弄湿啦

可我讨厌它们那爪子 我倒想知道它们是不是能瞧见咱们瞧不见的东西呢

它总是在楼梯顶儿上一坐就是好长时间

瞪大了眼睛听着

而我还在等着它呢

一向总是这样的

可它又是能干的强盗

偷了我买的那条漂亮新鲜的比目鱼[296]

我想明天买点儿鱼 要么今天就去买

是星期五吧

对啦

这就么着吧

添上点儿牛奶冻

加上乌梅果酱 像老早以前那样

那种李子苹果混合的两磅重的果酱罐头可不行 就是伦敦和纽卡斯尔的威廉斯一伍兹[297]那家店买的

能保存一倍时间

只因为有骨头

我就讨厌那些鳝鱼

鳕鱼对啦

我要去买一段新鲜鳕鱼

我总是买够三个人吃的

净忘记[298]

反正我对巴克利[299]肉店那一成不变的肉已经感到腻味啦牛肋肉和腿肉

牛排和羊脖子和小牛内脏

只要一听这名儿就够啦 要不要组织一次郊游呢

假定我们大家每人摊五先令

或者叫他出钱[300]

还为他请上另外什么女人

请谁呢

弗莱明大妈[301]吧

我们坐马车到荆豆谷或草莓园[302]去

先得叫他把[303]所有的马蹄铁都检查一遍

就像他检查信件一样

不

可别请博伊兰到那儿去啦

对啦 带上些夹着冷小牛肉和火腿的什锦三明治

那儿的河堤脚下特地盖起了一座座小房子[304]

但是他[305]说那简直热得像火焰一样

反正银行假日[306]可出不得门

我就讨厌杂耍演员那样打扮的俗气娘儿们赶在这一天成群地拥来

圣灵降临节的第二天也是个倒楣的日子 难怪蜜蜂要蜇他[307]哪

还是到海边儿去的好

可是我这辈子再也不跟他一块儿坐船啦

上回跟着他去了一趟布莱[308]

他对船老大[309]说

他会划船 要是有人问他能不能参加获得金质奖杯的越野赛马

他也会说

能呀然后海上起了风浪

那个老掉了牙的家伙[310]就七扭八歪起来

份量整个儿偏到我这边儿来啦

[311]忽而要我把身子往右边儿靠

忽而又要我朝左边儿靠

潮水从船底儿上哗啦哗啦往里灌他划着的[312]桨也从链子上脱落下来啦

亏得我们还没统统淹死他当然会游泳喽 我可不会

他穿了条法兰绒长裤

说是啥危险也没有 要我放镇静点儿

我恨不得当着所有人的面儿

把那条裤子从他身上扒下来 撕个稀巴烂

给他一顿常说的鞭刑

打得他浑身又黑又蓝

这对他好处可大着哪

可惜我不认识那个鼻子挺长的家伙

还带了个美人儿

从市徽饭店来的伯克[313]照例呆在码头上

四下里偷看着

他总是跑到用不着他去的地方

想瞧瞧有没有打架的

要是给啐上一口 那脸蛋儿也许会变得好看一些哩

我们俩已经没有爱情啦

早就消失啦

这总算是个安慰他[314]给我带回来的是本什么书呢

偷情的快乐[315] 是位时髦绅士写的

还有一个德科克先生

我猜想他总是带着他的管子挨着个儿找女人

大家才给他取了这么个外号[316]

我甚至没能换一下我那双崭新的白鞋

完全给咸水泡坏啦 我戴的那顶插着羽毛的帽子整个儿被风吹得翘了起来

在我头上摆来摆去

多么让人厌烦冒火啊

一闻海水的气味我就兴奋起来啦

当然喽

卡塔兰湾[317]的沙丁鱼啦

大头鱼啦 在岩石后面那一带

它们可好看哩 在渔夫的篓子里统统发着银光

他们说老鲁依吉眼看就一百岁啦 是从热那亚来的

还有那个戴着耳环的高个子老头儿我可不喜欢那种你非爬上去才够得着的男人

我猜想那号人老早就死光啦

而且烂掉啦

再说我决不愿意晚上一个人呆在这个兵营般的地方

我看也只好凑合呗 我们刚搬来的时候

一片混乱我甚至忘记带点儿盐来[318]

他打算在二楼的客厅开所音乐学校

还挂起一块黄铜招牌

他还提议经营起一家布卢姆私人旅馆那样一来就会像他爹在恩尼斯那样

把自己毁掉拉倒

就跟他对爹说的所有那些他要做的事情一样 对我也是这么说的 可我已经把他看穿啦 他还对我说过我们能够去度蜜月的一切可爱的地方

月光下在威尼斯划着贡多拉[319]

他还有一张科莫湖[320]的剪报 又是什么曼陀林啦

灯笼啦

哦

我说

可好啦 不论我 喜欢什么

他都马上着手去办 要多快有多快

你要做我的丈夫吗

你肯替我拎罐儿吗[321] 就凭他所编造的种种计划

也该奖给他一枚镶着油灰边的皮制微功勋章

把咱成天家撇在这儿

你万也想不到站在门口乞讨面包皮并且罗哩罗嗦诉说身世的老叫化子

兴许就是个流浪汉

他伸过一只脚来让我关不上门

就像劳埃德新闻周刊[322]上登过照片的那个老惯犯似的

他坐了二十年的牢

刚一放出来就又图财谋害了一位老太太

替他那可怜的老婆妈妈或家里旁的女人想想吧

冲他那个长相你见了就得一溜烟儿跑开好几英里

不把所有的门窗都牢牢地上了闩我是不能安心睡下的

可这下子就更糟啦

简直像是关在监狱或疯人院里似的应该把那些家伙一古脑儿给枪毙掉

要么就用九尾鞭来抽打这么一个大块头畜生居然去向一位可怜的老太太动手把她残杀在床上

要是我的话

就把他[323]那物儿割下来

非这么做不可他这个人顶不了多大事儿

不过总比没有强 那天晚上我肯定听见厨房里进了一帮贼

他只穿着件衬衫就下楼去啦

手里拿着蜡烛和拨火棍儿

就像是去逮老鼠似的

魂儿都吓掉啦

脸色刷白

做出的声音要多大有多大

那帮贼倒是得了济哩

天晓得家里其实没多少可偷的

不过 尤其是因为如今米莉也走啦

那滋味儿不好受

由于他爷爷的那点因缘[324] 他竟心血来潮

打发闺女到那儿去学照相啦

可没把她送到斯克利斯学院[325]去念书

她不像我

她在国立学校的时候

可门门都考头一名哩

不过

由于我和博伊兰的缘故

他不得不做那样一档子事儿

正因为如此

他才这么[326]做的

对于他怎样设计和策划一切

我心里是一清二楚的

近来只要她在家 除非先把门上了闩

我简直连动也不能动

她从来也不先敲一下门就闯进来 弄得我总是提心吊胆

得先用椅子把门顶住

才能戴上手套洗下身

这样会使神经受刺激的

要么就让她成天像个木头小姐似的

干脆把她装在玻璃匣子里 我们俩一道看着她好啦

她离开家以前

由于笨手笨脚

大大咧咧

竟把那座中看不中用的小雕像的手给弄断啦

我花上两先令才让那个意大利小男孩给修理好的

如今一点也看不出接缝儿来啦

要是给他[327]知道了呢

她甚至不肯替你把煮土豆的水倒掉

当然喽

她也是对的

省得把手弄粗啦

我留意近来他在饭桌上老是跟她讲这讲那

讲解着报纸上的事情

她呢

就假装听懂啦 当然挺狡猾啦

这可是从他那边的血统来的还帮助她穿上大衣

可她要是觉得哪儿不舒服就会告诉我

而不告诉他

他不能说我装模作样

他能吗

我的确太老实啦

我估摸着他以为我已经没戏啦

再也不会有人理睬啦

喔

我才不会呢

不

决不会那样

喔

等着瞧吧

喔

等着瞧吧

如今晚儿她也和汤姆德万斯[328]的两个儿子调起情来啦

都是跟我学的还跟来喊她的默里[329]家的野丫头们一道吹口哨

米莉

请你出来吧

她红得很哪

大家都尽量地向她打听这打听那

天都黑啦

还在纳尔逊街[330]骑着哈里德万斯的自行车兜圈子

他把她送到现在这个地方去也有好处

她刚巧变得约束不住了

老想去溜冰场

跟大伙儿一起从鼻孔里喷出纸烟圈儿

当我替她在上衣下摆上钉纽扣儿 把线咬断的时候

从她衣服上闻出气味来啦她什么也瞒不住我

真的

只怪我不该在她还穿在身上的时候就替她缝

这会造成离别的[331]

而且前一回做的李子布丁竟裂成两瓣儿啦[332]

不管人家怎么说

瞧 这不就应验了吗

从我的趣味来说

她未免太爱饶舌啦

她对我说

你这件衬衫的脖领儿开得太低啦

这就好比是锅对壶说

你的底儿大黑啦我还得告诉她 可不要当着一个个行人的面儿

把你的两条腿那么显眼地在窗台上翘着

人家全都在瞧着她

就像瞧我一样

当然喽

我指的是我在她这个年龄的时候

想当年

不论穿什么旧衣烂衫都显眼

在皇家剧院看唯一的路[333]那回

她傲慢地摆出一副谁也不许碰我的架势

说什么把你的脚闪开

我就讨厌人家碰我

她怕得要死

惟恐我会把她那条百褶裙给压坏啦

在剧院里黑咕隆咚的

趁着拥挤可没少碰碰撞撞的 那帮家伙总是想方设法扭到你跟前儿来

上回我们在欢乐剧场后座站着看比尔博姆特里[334]公演软毡帽的时候

就有那么一个该下地狱[335]的家伙

不管是为软毡帽也罢 或者为她的屁股[336]也罢

反正我再也不到那儿去给人挤来挤去啦

每隔两分钟那家伙就戳我那个部位一下

然后朝一旁望去

我认为他有点儿半吊子

后来我又见过他

正在想法儿靠近呆在斯威策[337]的橱窗外面那两位衣着时髦的太太呢好耍他那套花招儿

从他那副长相和旁的一切

我马上就认出他来

他可不记得我啦[338]

在布罗德斯通[339]临动身的时候

她甚至于不愿意我跟她亲一下嘴儿

喔

我希望她会找到个对她献殷勤的人

就像我当年那样

她得了流行性腮腺炎

那些腺都肿胀起来

病倒了的当儿总是问这问那

当然她还不能有什么深的感触

我约莫二十二岁以前从来也没正正经经搞过 老是弄错了地方

只不过是女孩儿家通常那种瞎胡闹

吃吃地傻笑罢咧

一个叫科尼康诺利的

曾经在黑纸上用白墨水给我写了一封信

还涂上火漆封了印 不过落幕的时候她鼓了掌

因为他看上去那么英俊

接着

马丁哈维[340]就每天三顿饭都到我们家来吃啦

后来我暗地里想

要是一个男人什么也不图

就那么为了她而送掉自个儿的命

那必定就是真正的爱情啦

这样的男人恐怕剩不下几个啦

不过这是难以相信的

除非这种事儿确实发生在我身上大多数男人生来一丁点儿爱情也没有

如今晚儿到哪儿去找像你们两个这样心心相印的

样样都想到一块儿去啦

这种人通常就是脑袋瓜儿有点儿笨

他[341]爹准就有点儿怪

所以她死了以后

他跟着也服毒自杀啦

但是好可怜的老人家啊

我估计他没着落啦

她[342]一直喜欢我的东西

十五岁的时候就想用我的旧布条把头发扎起来

还要搽我的粉哪

只不过会弄粗她的皮肤她这辈子还有的是时间去打扮呢

她知道自己长得俊

嘴唇儿那么红

可惜不会老是这样

我当年不也是那样的吗

可是把这丫头带到集市上去也是白搭

当我叫她去买半斯通[343]土豆的时候她回答我的口气活像个渔婆儿

那天我们在小马驾车赛[344]上碰见了乔加拉赫太太[345]

她跟律师弗赖尔利[346]一道坐在她那辆双轮轻便马车里 居然假装没瞧见我们

因为我们不够气派的呗后来我狠狠地给了她[347]两个大耳刮子

一巴掌是因为你回嘴另一巴掌是因为你没规矩

当然是她这样顶撞惹我生的气

可我本来就在气头上

因为茶里不知怎么会进了一根野草

要么就是由于吃下去的奶酪不对头

夜里没睡好觉

而且我对她说过多少遍

别把刀子交叉着放[348]

因为正像她自己说的

谁都不能指挥她

喔

假若他不管教她 就得由我来管啦

那是她最后一回哭鼻子

当年我自个儿也是那样

没人敢叫我做这做那

没有老早就雇个女人

却让我们两个当牛作马

这当然是他的过错喽什么时候我才能再有个像样儿的女仆呢

当然喽

那么一来他[349]就会动手动脚的啦

我得让她知道一下

不过

这下子兴许她会报复哩

她们真够讨厌的

那个弗莱明老大娘[350]你就得跟在她后面转悠

往她手里放这放那 她净打喷嚏

要么就往尿盆[351]里放屁

喔

她老啦

当然管不住自己喽 幸亏我从厨桌后面找到了那块丢失了的旧抹布

又脏又臭

我就知道有点什么玩艺儿

打开窗户

放一放气味

他把朋友们带回来款待

就拿那天晚上来说吧

居然领着条狗走回家来啦

你看多奇怪

没准儿还是条疯狗哪

尤其是西蒙迪达勒斯的儿子

他爹什么事都挑剔得很

看板球比赛的时候

他举着望远镜

戴着大礼帽

短袜上可破了个大窟窿

真叫人恶心

他儿子在期中考试时门门功课都得了奖[352] 想想看

他竟然从栏干上爬了过来[353] 要是给我们的熟人瞧见了可怎么好

他那条送葬时才穿的讲究的长裤会不会给刮破个大口子呢

就好像生下来就有的窟窿还不够似的

居然把他领进又脏又旧的厨房里

他的脑袋瓜儿难道有毛病了吗可惜这不是洗衣裳的日子

我那条旧衬裤也许还搭在绳子上给大伙儿看哪

可他呢[354]

一点儿也不在乎

那个笨婆子还给烫糊了一块

说不定他会以为是别的什么东西呢

她甚至也没按照我吩咐她的那样把油渍去掉

如今她也就这么下去了

因为她那个中了风的丈夫越来越糟啦

他们[355]总是在闹着什么毛病

不是生病就是开刀

不然的话他就酗酒 动手揍她

我又得到处去寻摸个什么人[356]啦

每天我一起床就总有点新鲜事儿 天哪

天哪

喏

我料想等我抻了腿儿

躺在坟地里

才能安安神儿 我想起来一下

也许尿出来啦

等一等

哦

老天爷

等一等

对啦

我身上来了那玩艺儿啦

对啦

这不让你受罪吗

敢情都是由于他[357]在我里头戳来戳去

连根儿都给耕到啦

如今我可怎么办呢

星期五

星期六

星期日 那会把人给折磨得魂儿都出壳儿啦

除非他喜欢这手

有的男人就喜欢

咱们女人家总是不那么顺当

每隔三四个星期就得来一回月经

一拖就是五天

那天晚上我身上就来了

真是讨厌透啦

迈克尔冈恩[358]前前后后就请我们在欢乐剧场的包厢里看过一回肯德尔夫人和她丈夫[359]他在德里米[360]的时候曾经为人寿保险的事儿替他出过点儿力我只得用带子扎住

可那位衣着时髦的绅士从上面直用望远镜盯着我

而他呢[361]坐在我另一边

大谈什么斯宾诺莎[362]啦 还有他那我猜想几百万年前就死掉了的灵魂啦

我简直就像是陷进了沼泽里似的 可我还是尽量露着笑容

仿佛挺感兴趣一般向前探着身子

总得一直坐到听完最后的收场白呀

斯卡里的那个妻子我可是不会轻易忘掉的

顶层楼座的那个白痴把它看成是一出关于通奸的淫戏[363]啦

就朝着那个女人嘘了起来

喊她作淫妇散戏之后

我猜想他准会到旁边那条巷子去找个女人

沿着所有那些偏僻的小路追来追去

让她做出补偿

但愿被他逮住的是跟当时的我同样状况[364]的女人

那他就活该啦

我敢打赌

连那猫儿都比我们强

难道女人身子里的血大多啦还是咋的

哦憋不住啦

它就像海水似的从我身子里冒了出来

不管怎样尽管他的那么大

却没使我怀上孕

我不愿意把那些干净褥单糟踏了这都是我穿上件干净的亚麻衬衫招来的[365]

该死

该死

他们总是想看到床上的血印儿 好知道你是个处女

他们个个对这一点老是放心不下

他们都是些大傻瓜 哪怕你是个寡妇或者离过四十次婚

只要胡乱涂上点儿红墨水不就行啦

要么就是黑莓汁子

不

那又太紫糊糊的啦

老天爷

请救我一把

摆脱这种事儿吧

呸

偷情的快乐[366]

究竟是谁替女人想到这么一档子事儿的呢

并且把它穿插到缝衣做饭养育孩子当中去

这张该死的旧床丁零当啷乱响

真是的 我猜他们从公园的那一头都能听见我们[367]啦

后来我想出了个主意

把鸭绒被铺在地板上

我屁股底下垫个枕头

白天干是不是更有趣儿呢

我倒觉得挺自在的

我想把这些毛毛儿全铰掉

刺挠得慌

兴许看上去会像个年轻姑娘哩 下回他[368]把我的衣服撩起来

会不会觉得上了大当呢

只要能看到他那张脸蛋儿

让我干什么都可以

尿盆儿哪儿去啦

慢慢儿的[369]

自从那个旧便器坏掉以后

我总是生怕把这个压碎

我觉得坐在他腿上也许太重啦

所以故意让他坐在圈儿椅上

这当儿我先在另一间屋里脱下罩衫和裙子

还不到点子上他就忙乎开啦

他从来也没好好儿摸过我

我预先吃了吻香糖

但愿我的气儿是甜丝丝的慢慢儿的

天哪

记得当年我几乎能够像男人那么直直地哗哗地撒出来

哦

老天爷

多响啊

我希望上面起泡儿

那样一来就能从什么人手里弄到一大笔钱[370]

可别忘了早晨我还得往尿里撒上点儿香料

我敢打赌他从来也没见过这么漂亮的一双大腿

瞧

它们有多白啊

顶光滑的就是当中间儿这一小块地方

多嫩哇

就像一只桃子似的慢慢儿的

我倒想当个男人

跨在一个漂亮女孩儿身上

哦

你做出的声音多大啊

就像是泽西百合[371] 慢慢儿的

慢慢儿的

哦

水是怎样从拉合尔冲下来的[372]

难道我身子里头有什么毛病了吗

要么就是长了什么东西所以每星期都排泄出那样的玩艺儿

上回我身上是什么时候来的呢

圣灵降临节的第二天

对啦 才过了三个来星期

我得去瞧瞧大夫

也不过是像我跟他结婚以前那一次罢咧 当时我有白带

弗洛伊教我去找彭布罗克路的那个干巴巴木头木脑的老妇科大夫科林斯[373]给瞧瞧

他管那个叫你的阴道

我猜想他就是靠这套手法

从“斯蒂芬草地”[374]一带的阔主儿身上弄到一面面框上镀了金字的镜子和一块块地毯的

她们只要有一星半点儿的小毛病就跑来找他

她的阴道啦

她的小腿象皮病啦

她们有的是钱喽

所以她们什么都好

即便世界上只剩下了他这么一个[375]男人

我也不会嫁给他

再说

那些女人的娃娃们老是有点儿不舒服 经常对着[376]那些臭婊子闻来闻去

居然还问起我那白带有没有讨厌的气味 他究竟想让我干什么呀

唯一想要的也许是金钱呗

哪里有提这种问题的

要是我怀着全部敬意

把那玩艺儿统统抹遍了他那张满是皱纹的老脸孔

上我猜想他就准会明白啦

他还问我

你那个容易通[377]吗

通什么呀

听他那口气 我还以为他指的是直布罗陀岩石呢

这倒也是个非常巧妙的发明说起来

我就喜欢事后把下身尽量挤进到马桶的坑里

接着拉一下链子

冲洗一番

又舒但又凉爽

简直都发麻啦

可我总觉得身子里面还留着点儿什么

米莉小的时候 我常检查她排泄出来的

好知道她有没有虫子

不管怎么着

照样得付钱给他 大夫

多少钱啊

请交一基尼

他居然问起我

遗漏出来[378]的多不多 这些老家伙是打哪儿弄到这些词儿的呢

边说什么它们遗漏出来 边斜愣着那双近视眼

朝我使眼色

我不大信任他

决不让他给我施麻醉剂

或者天晓得还有什么旁的玩艺儿

可我还是喜欢他坐下来写那东西时候的样儿

绷着脸皱起眉头

鼻子显得挺聪明的

好像在说

你这混蛋

你这瞎话流星的轻桃娘儿们哦 随你爱怎么说就怎么说吧

没关系

只要别说是白痴就成他也够聪明的[379] 看出了这一点

当然喽

他绞尽脑汁才给我写了一封封狂热痴情的信

我的宝贝儿

什么都离不开你那光辉的玉体

还在一切这个字下面划了线

都永远是美好的

给人快乐的

这些都是他从手头一本无聊的书里抄下来的

我自个儿有时候一天要搞四五回

可我说我没搞

真的吗

啊

对啦

我说这一点儿不假

这么一来他就不吭声啦

我晓得底下会怎么样

这不过是娘胎里带来的弱点罢咧

我们头回见面的那个晚上也不知道怎样一来

他就教我兴奋起来啦 当时我住在里霍勃斯

高台街

我们站着

直勾勾地相互盯着看了十来分钟 就好像在哪儿见过似的

我猜想那是由于我赶母亲

有着犹太女人的容貌

他脸上露着有点儿懒散的微笑

常常东拉西扯地哄我开心

多伊尔[380]一家人全都说他会竞选下议院议员

噢

我可是个地地道道的傻瓜

居然把他关于自治运动和土地同盟[381]吹的那些牛皮都当真啦

他还把胡格诺派教徒[382]里那首又长又乱的歌儿给我送了来

说是用法国话唱就更古雅

哦

德拉图赖讷的美丽国土[383]

这只歌儿我连一回也没唱过

他又大讲起宗教和迫害来啦

乱七八糟的

什么事儿他总也不教你自自然然地享受一番然后他就像是[384]对你开个大恩似的

在布赖顿广场逮住头一个机会就赶紧跑进我的卧室来

了假装手上沾了墨水

要用我经常使的含着阿尔比安[385]奶和琉磺的肥皂

可那肥皂还裹着包装的蜡纸呢

哦

那天我直笑他

简直笑破了肚皮

我还是别整宿坐在这玩艺儿上头啦

他们应该按照普通的尺寸来造尿盆儿

女人家也就能够舒舒服服地坐在上面啦

他竟然跪下去解手

我估摸着天底下再也找不到第二个男人有他这种习惯的啦

瞧他在床脚那个睡法儿

连个硬枕头都没有

怎么能睡呢

亏得他倒不踢踢踹踹的

不然的话

我满嘴牙都会被他踢掉啦

一只手摁着鼻子呼吸 活脱儿像那位印度神 一个下雨的星期天

他领我到基尔代尔街博物馆去让我看过

浑身裹了件长坎肩儿

侧着躺在手上[386]

十个脚趾扎煞开来 他说[387]

那个宗教比犹大教和咱们天主教加在一块儿还大呢

整个儿亚洲都在模仿他

正像他总在模仿每一个人

我猜想他也一向都睡在床脚那一头

还把他那双大方脚丫子伸到他老婆嘴里去

这腥臭的劳什子

不管怎样

那些布片儿哪儿去啦

啊

对啦

我知道啦但愿那只旧衣橱可别吱吱嘎嘎地响

啊 我就知道它会响的

他睡得好香啊[388]

准是在什么地方寻欢作乐来着

不过 她给他的倒也完全值得他出这笔钱

他当然得在她身上花钱喽

噢

这劳什子真讨厌

我巴不得下辈子我们女人能过得自在一点儿

别再这么把自己捆绑起来 老天爷

可怜可怜我们吧

这一宿这样就能对付啦

这张老掉了牙叮零当啷响的笨床

总是教我想起老科恩[389]

我猜他躺在这床上可没少挠自个儿

他呢 却还以为爹是从我还是个小妞儿的时候就曾经崇拜过的那个内皮尔勋爵[390]手里买下的呢

因为我就是这么告诉他的[391]

慢慢儿地

轻轻儿地

哦

我爱我这张床

天哪

如今都十六年啦

我们这份日子过得还是跟以前一样紧巴巴的

我们统共搬过多少回家呀

隆巴德高台街跟翁塔利奥高台街跟伦巴德街跟霍利斯街

每回他都吊儿郎当地吹着口哨

不是胡格诺教徒这个曲子就是青蛙进行曲[392]

还装模作样儿地帮那些脚夫去搬运我们那四佯简陋的家具呢

后来又住进了市徽饭店

连看门的戴利都说是越来越差啦

总有人呆在楼梯平台那儿的可爱的地方祷告[393]

把他们的臭气全留下来啦

一闻就知道在你之前进去的是谁

每回刚刚顺当了

就又会出点儿什么事

要么就是他惹出什么麻烦来 汤姆也罢

希利也罢

卡夫先生也罢

德里米也罢[394]

要么就是为了那些旧彩票[395]的事儿差点儿蹲监狱

本来还指望全家人都靠它来得济哪

不然的话他也会因为态度狂妄

很快就把自由人报[396]这个饭碗给砸啦就像旁的那几个差事一样

都是由于罪人芬[397]或是共济会[398]的缘故

那么就瞧瞧他指给咱看的那个下雨天淋得精湿独自在科迪巷转悠的小个儿[399]到底会给他多大安慰吧 他说那个人非常能干

浑身是纯粹的爱尔兰劲儿 从我看到的他身上那条长裤的纯粹劲儿来判断

他的确是这样的

哦

乔治教堂的钟声响啦

哦两点过三刻啦[400]

深更半夜的

他真是挑了个好时候回的家

凑到人家跟前儿来啦 而且是跨过栏干跳到空地上的

要是给什么人撞见了呢

明天我就得狠狠地把他这个小毛病改一改

头一桩

查查他的衬衫

要么就翻看那个法国信[401]是不是还在他的皮夹子里

依我看他还只当我蒙在鼓里呢

这些男人就喜欢捣鬼 他们就是有二十个兜儿

也装不下他们那些瞎话

即便是真话他们也不会相信 那么又何必去说

呢然后就蜷起身子往床上一倒

活像是有一回他给我捎来的贵族[402]那本杰作里的娃娃直好像我们在现实生活里见到的例子还不够似的

管他叫老贵族还是叫什么名字呢

何苦拿那些长着两个脑袋的缺腿儿娃娃的破相片来恶心你

这就是他们成天梦想着干的罪恶勾当

他们那空洞洞的脑袋瓜儿里 什么旁的也没有装

他们当中有一半人就欠吃慢性毒药啦

还得给他[403]预备茶和两面都涂了黄油的烤面包片

要新下的蛋

我想我这个人已经不算数啦 在霍利斯街的时候

有一个晚上我不许他舔我

男人啊男人

在这一点上总是个暴君

他光着身子在地板上睡了半宿

就像是亲属死了以后犹太人所做的那样[404]

一口早饭也不肯吃

一句话都不说

我觉得他就是想让我对他亲热亲热 我坚持够了以后就让他随意去干他只想着自个儿乐和 搞得完全不对头

他的舌头可不够圆滚要么就是我也闹不清是怎么回事

他忘记了那个

可我呢

一点儿都不

假若他本人不在乎

我就教他再搞上一遍

然后把他锁在煤窖里

让他跟蟑螂一块儿睡觉去

我倒是想知道哪个女人迷上了我甩掉的这个男人

难道就是乔西[405]吗

他可是个天生的谎屁流儿

不

他永远不会有胆量去勾搭一个有夫之妇

所以他才让我跟博伊兰

至于她叫作她的丹尼斯的那个垂头丧气的可怜虫

他[406]算个什么丈夫呢

对啦

他在跟什么小婊子打得火热

上回我跟他带上米莉去看学院里的运动会

那个脑袋上扣了顶娃娃帽的霍恩布洛尔[407]放我们从后门进去的

他竟然向走来走去执行裙子任务[408]的那两个女人飞起眼儿来

起初我试着朝他眨巴眼

但是白搭

当然喽

他的钱都这么花掉啦

这全是帕狄迪格纳穆先生的葬礼造成的

对啦

博伊兰带来的报纸上说 葬礼还挺隆重

大家都很有派头

倒是该让他们瞧瞧真正的军官的葬礼

那才叫了不起呢

枪托子朝上的枪啦

蒙起来的吊鼓啦死者宠爱的马披着黑纱走在后面

利布姆[409]和汤姆克南[410]

有一回那个酒桶般的小酒鬼不知在什么地方喝醉啦

一头栽到男厕所里

咬掉了自己的舌头

还有马丁坎宁翰和迪达勒斯爷儿俩

再就是范妮麦科伊[411] 的丈夫

她那脑袋白得像棵白菜

皮包骨 斗鸡眼儿

还想唱我那些歌儿呢

那她可得重新投胎才成

她穿了件开领儿挺低的旧绿衣裳 反正再也没有旁的法儿来吸引男人了

她那嗓门儿活像下雨天儿啪嚓啪嚓趟水的声音

我现在把什么都看透啦

他们所说的什么友谊只不过是你杀我我杀你

然后一埋拉倒

可每个人家里还都有老婆和眷属哪

尤其是杰克鲍尔

把那个酒馆女招待包下来啦

当然喽

他老婆老是生着病不是快要病倒啦

就是刚缓过来

他倒是个蛮英俊的男人哩

尽管鬓角儿已经有点儿灰白了 他们这帮人可真够呛

喔

只要我能做得到

他们就休想再把我丈夫抓在手里 背地里还拿他取笑[412]

我全都知道

喔

这是因为他干那些愚蠢勾当的时候还有足够的理智

不肯把自己挣下的每个便士都挥霍到他们肚子里去

他总还要照顾老婆和家眷嘛

简直是一帮废物点心

可怜的帕迪狄格纳穆也是这样

我有点儿替他感到[413]难过

除非他上了保险

要不他那老婆和五个娃娃可咋办哪

活脱凡是个逗乐儿的小陀螺

总是摽在哪家酒吧的旮旯儿里

要么老婆要么就是儿子等在那里

比尔贝利

请你回家去好不好[414]

寡妇的丧服也不能使她好看多少 可你要是长得漂亮

穿上丧服就格外显眼

啥人没去呢

他吗

对啦

他参加了格伦克里的午餐会[415]还有那下贱的桶音本多拉德

为了当场演唱

头天晚上他到霍利斯街来借燕尾服

好歹把身子塞进衣裤

他那张宽大的娃娃脸上满是笑容

活像是挨足了揍的小孩儿屁股

他看上去活像一对呆睾丸[416]

一点儿也不差

在舞台上想必丢尽了脸

想想看

花上五先令 坐在包厢里

难道就是为了瞧他吗

西蒙迪达勒斯也是一样

他在台上总是醉醺醺 的先从第二段歌词唱起来

旧日恋情是新恋[417]是他的一个拿手节目 他唱起山楂枝上的女郎来

那嗓音多么圆润啊

而且他还总爱调情

当我跟他在弗雷迪迈那斯家里一块儿唱歌剧玛丽塔娜[418]的时候

他的歌声又优美又豪放 菲比

最亲爱的[419]

再见

宝贝儿[420]

他总是这么唱

宝贝儿

不像巴特尔达西那样把它唱成宝婊儿[421]

当然喽

他生就一副好嗓子

一点儿也不做作

听了就像是冲个热腾腾的淋浴似的 教你整个儿沉浸在里面

哦 玛丽塔娜

荒林的花儿[422]

我们唱得很出色

对我的音域来说

就是变一下调

也还是高了点儿

那时候他已经跟梅古尔丁[423]结婚啦

可那时他说的做的

都会把好事儿给破坏啦

如今他成了老光棍儿啦 他儿子到底是个什么样儿的人呢

他说 他是个[424]作家

都快要当上大学里的意大利语教授啦 还要教我呢

他把我的相片拿给他看

究竟安的是什么心呢

那一张照得不好 我应该穿件满是褶裥的衣裳就好啦

那就永远不会显得过时了

不过

在那张相片上我显得还是挺年轻

他是不是连相片带我这个人都送给他了呢[425]

那也没关系反正我见过他跟着他爹妈

坐马车到王桥车站去 当时我还穿着丧服 那是十一年前的事嘞

对啦他[426]要是活下来

就该十一岁啦

可是替这样一个对我们来说根本不算数的娃娃服丧

又有什么用呢[427]

当然喽

是他非要[428]服丧不可

我猜想

就连那只猫要是死了

他也会的

如今他[429]该已经长成个男子汉了吧

当年他可是个天真烂漫的男孩儿

一个惹人爱的小宝宝 穿的是方特勒罗伊小爵爷的套服[430]

一头鬈发

活像是位舞台上的王子

我在马特狄龙家看到他[431]的时候

他也喜欢我来着

我记得他们都喜欢我的 等一等

天哪

对啦

等一等

对啦

沉住气

今天早晨我洗纸牌占卜婚姻的时候

出现了个发色不深不浅的年轻陌生人

是从前见过的

我还只当指的是他[432]呢

可他并不是个年轻小伙子也不是个不熟悉的人

而且我的脸是掉过去的

第七张牌是什么来着

随后是象征一次陆地旅行的黑桃10

后来还有已经寄出来的一封信和一件丑闻

三张王后和方块8表示会出人头地

对啦 等一等

全都应验啦

两张红8代表新衣裳

瞧啊

我不是还梦见过什么吗 对啦

梦里出现了关于诗的什么

我希望他[432]可别留着油乎乎的长头发 一直耷拉到眼睛里

要么就像红印第安人那样倒竖着

他们为什么要弄成那副样子到处转悠呢

只不过是让人对他们自个儿和他们的诗嘲笑罢咧

我还是个小妞儿的时候可喜欢诗啦

起初我还以为他[433]是拜伦勋爵那样的诗人呢

其实他连一丁点儿诗人的素质也没有

我认为他[434]可完全不一样

我不知道他是不是太年轻啦

他大约是

等一等八八年

我是八八年结的婚

米莉昨天十五啦 八九年

那么他到底多大呢

在狄龙家那回才五六岁吧

那是约莫八八年的事我猜想他已经二十要么二十出头啦

他要是二十三四岁的话

对他来说

我还不算大老

我但愿他不是那种自以为了不起的大学生

不会的

不然的话

他也不会跟他一道[435]坐在那间破旧的厨房里喝埃普斯可可[436]啦

还聊着天儿 他当然[437]假装统统都听懂啦

大概他还告诉他[438]

自个儿是三一学院毕业的呢

作为教授他可大年轻啦

我希望他不是古德温[439]那样的教授

论约翰詹姆森[440]

他倒是个有权威的教授哩

他们全都在诗里写什么女人啦

喏 我认为他[441]找不到多少像我这样的女人 那里有爱的微叹

吉他的轻弹[442] 空气里弥漫着诗

蓝色的海洋和月亮闪闪发光

多么美丽

乘夜船从塔里法[443]回来

欧罗巴岬角的灯台[444]

那个人弹奏的吉他的旋律扣人心弦

我会不会还有机会回到那儿去呢

一张张从来没见过的脸

窗格后藏着一双明媚的流盼[445]

我要把这唱给他听[446]

哪怕他有一星半点儿诗人的气质

也该能明白那就是我的眼睛

两只眼犹如爱星

乌黑又灿烂[447]

年轻的爱心 词儿有多么美好哇

跟一个聪明人谈你自己

而不是老听他[448]讲比利普雷斯科特的广告[449]和凯斯的广告[450]还有精力绝伦的汤姆的广告

要是他们的生意出了什么毛病

咱们就得跟着受罪

我相信他[451]准是个非常了不起的人 我就是想遇见这么个人

天哪

而不是旁的那些人渣子而且他又那么年轻

从岩石旁边我可以瞧见下面马盖特海滨浴场[452]的那些英俊小伙子

一个个赤条条地站在太阳底下

就像是神仙还是什么的 接着嗖的一下就跳到海里去了

为什么所有的男人不能都长成这样儿呢 那样的话

一个女人还能多少得到点儿安慰

就像他买的那座可爱的小雕像[453]

我可以成天望着他

长长的鬈发 还有他那肩膀

为了让你注意去听而举起的指头

那才是为你的真正的美和诗哪 我常常感到恨不得把他浑身上下都吻遍了

包括他那招人爱的小鸡鸡儿

多么纯朴

要是没人看眷

我恨不得把它含在嘴里

它多么干净白皙呀

就像是祈求你嘬它似的

他仰起那张稚气的脸蛋儿望着你

我会这么做的

不出半分钟就完啦

哪怕我咽下了一丁点儿什么

那也没啥只不过像是麦片粥或露水罢咧 不会有害处的

何况他还那么干净

比那帮猪一样的男人可强多啦

我猜想他们大部分人一年到头也决不会想到要把那物儿洗上一洗

所以女人才会长出口髭来

在我这个岁数

要是能够交上一个年轻俊俏的诗人 那才神气哪

早晨我头一桩儿就出纸牌

好看看那张愿望牌[454]究竟会不会出来

要么我就给王后配对儿

看看他到底出不出来[455]

凡是能找得到的

我都要读一读

学一学

还要背会一点儿

可也得等先晓得了他[456]喜欢谁再说

这么一来 他就不至于嫌我愚蠢啦

假若他认为天下的女人都是一样的话

我倒得教他明白未必是这样的

我要把他弄得神魂颠倒

直到他在我底下差不多昏迷过去

然后他就写起我来啦

情人啦

情妇啦而且是公开地

当他出名以后

所有的报纸上都登出我们两人的照片

哦

可那时候我拿他[457]咋办呢

不行

他这个人[458]简直无可救药

他天生就不懂礼貌

不文雅

啥都不会

因为我不肯称他作休

就从背后像那样拍我的屁股

是个连诗和白菜都分不清楚的蠢才

都怪你不教他们放规矩点儿才对你这样的

脸皮真厚

甚至都没问一声可不可以

当着我的面儿就在那把椅子上将鞋和裤子扒下来啦

上半身儿光剩件衬衫楞头楞脑地站在那儿

还指望着人家像神父啦

屠夫啦要么就是尤利乌斯恺撒时代的老伪善者[459]那么仰慕哪

当然喽

他这只不过是一种开开玩笑消磨光阴的办法

倒也情有可原

说实在的

饶这么着

还不如跟一头狮子[460]一块儿睡觉呢

我敢说一头老狮子倒还能说出点儿更像样儿的话来哪 哦

喔

我想它们[461]是因为罩在这条短衬裙里面才越发显得丰满动人

他简直忍不住啦

有时候它们把我自个儿也弄得兴奋起来啦

这些男人倒好

从女人身上得到的快乐可老鼻子啦

对男人来说

那永远是那么圆那么白

我但愿能变换变换

让我自个儿当上个男人

用他们那物儿来试一试

当它胀得鼓鼓的朝你戳过来的时候

你一摸

是那么硬棒

同时又那么软和

我从髓骨巷[462]拐角那儿经过的当儿

听见那些二流子在说什么

我的约翰舅舅有个长长的物儿

我的舅妈玛丽有个带毛的物儿

因为天都黑了

而且他们知道有个姑娘正打那儿经过

可我并没有脸红

为啥要脸红呢

何必呢

这不过是天性嘛 他把他那长长的物儿戳进我的玛丽舅妈那带毛的啥

其实是给扫帚装上个长把儿 到哪儿去都是男人吃香

他们可以随便挑自家喜欢的有夫之妇啦

浪荡寡妇啦 黄花女儿啦

反正各有各的风味儿

就像爱尔兰街[463]背荫地儿的一座座房子里

可不是老用链儿把女人拴起来

他们可休想把我拴起来

不

妈的

我才不怕呢

我要是干开了头

也就不管傻瓜丈夫吃不吃醋啦

就是露了馅儿啦 又何必吵架呢

难道就不能继续做朋友了吗

她丈夫发现了他们[464]一道干了点儿啥

喏

不用说

就算他发现了

他又咋能收回覆水呢

不论他做啥 反正他也已经剃度[465]啦

再就是像对美丽的暴君[466]里的那个妻子似的 男人走到另一个疯狂的极端

当然喽

男人嘛连一丁点儿也不会替做丈夫的或者做老婆的考虑一下

他要的就是娘儿们

并且把她搞到手

我倒是想知道

要不是为了这个干吗要让我们有七情六欲呢

我简直按捺不住啦

我还年轻哪又咋耐得住呢

跟他[467]这么个冷冰冰的人一道过日子

我居然没有未老先衰

变成个干瘪老妖婆倒真是个奇迹哩

他从来也没抱过我

除非是睡着了以后有时候从不对头的那一端搂过来

我猜想他根本不知道我是谁

难道竟有亲女人屁股的男人吗

我恨

不得跟他吵一架哩

打那以后

哪儿不自然他就亲哪儿

在那些部位

我们连一丁点儿也动不了情

我们个个都有两团儿同样的肥油

我随便跟哪个男人搞以前

呸

这帮脏畜生

光是想一想就够啦

小姐

我亲亲您的脚[468]

这活倒还有几分意思

他亲没亲我们门厅的门呢 亲啦

好个疯子

除了我以外

谁都不理解他那些疯疯颠颠的念头

当然喽 一个女人巴不得每天都能给抱个二十来遍

这样才能显得年轻

不论对方是谁都行

只要自个儿爱上了那个人

或者被啥人爱上了就成

要是你想望的那个主儿不在 老天爷

我就想挑个黑咕隆咚的晚上

到谁都不认识我的码头上去转悠

随便找个刚上岸急煎煎的水手

他才一点儿也不管我是啥人呢

反正随便找个地方 闪进一扇门去干上一通就成

要么就找个有着一张野性面孔的拉斯法纳姆[469]的吉卜赛人

他们在布卢姆菲尔德洗衣坊[470]附近扎帐篷

变着法儿偷我们的东西

我冲着模范洗衣坊这个招牌

就送去了几样我的衣物

可回回退给我的是旧玩艺儿

一样一只长袜子唔的

那个眼睛挺水灵却长着一副流氓相的家伙 把那嫩枝剥得光光的

黑咕隆咚地朝着我猛扑过来

一声不响地跨在我身上 把我往墙上顶要么就是个杀人犯

随便啥人

也不管他们自个儿是干啥的

哪怕是头戴大礼帽的体面绅士

要么就是住在附近的那位英国王室法律顾问[471] 有一回我瞧见他从哈德威克巷走了出来

那是他请我们吃鱼宴的晚上

他说是因为在拳击赛中赢了

可他当然是

为了我才请的客喽

我是凭着他那鞋罩和走路那个劲儿认出他来

的

过了一分钟

我刚一回头

就瞧见一个女人也跟在后面从那

条巷子里溜出来啦

是哪个臭婊子啊

他干完那档子事儿以后 就回家到他老婆那儿去啦

不过

我猜想那些水手有一半都害病

不中用啦 哦

你这大块头

求求您啦

往那边儿挪一挪吧

听

听他这个

风把我的叹息飘送给你[472]

喏

大方案家[473]堂波尔

多德拉弗罗拉[474]

他蛮可以[475]睡着觉叹气哩

要是他知道今儿

个早晨他是咋样出现在纸牌上的话

他就真有得可叹气的啦

夹在两张7当中不知道咋办才好的一个深头发男人 还被关进了监狱

天晓得他干了啥

我也不摸头脑

而我呢

还得下厨房 踢拉塌拉转悠

给他这位老爷准备早饭

这当儿他可像具木乃伊似地[476]弯着身于睡在那儿

我真会这么做吗

难道你瞧见过我跑腿不成

我倒是想看看我自个儿跑跑颠颠的那副样子

只要关怀他们一下

他们就会把你当成垃圾

我才不管别人说三道四呢要是由女人来统治天下

那该有多好哇

你不会看到女人你杀我我杀你

大批地屠杀人

你啥时候瞧见过女人像他们那么喝得烂醉

到处滚来滚去

赌钱输个精光

要么就连老本都赔在赛马上

对啦

因为一个女人家不论做啥

她都懂得到时候就该收场真的

要不是多亏了女人

世界上就压根儿不会有男人

他们不知道做一个女人

做一位妈妈

意味着啥

要不是有个妈妈拉扯着他们

他们都咋活呀

这会子都在哪儿呢

我就从来没得到过这方面的济[477]

估计正因为是这样

如今他[478]才跑野啦

离开书本和学习

晚上到外面荡来荡去

大概是因为一家人净吵吵闹闹的

所以他不住在家里啦

喏

这可真是个不幸的事儿

他们有这么个好儿子

还不知足

我呢 没有儿子

难道是他[479]就没有生儿子的精力吗

那可不是我的过错

当我在光秃秃的当街瞧见了两条狗

公的从后面跟母的干上的时候

我们也到了一块儿 那档子事儿[48…]教我伤透了心

我估摸埋葬他的时候不该给他穿上我边哭边编织成的那件小羊毛线衣

应该把那件衣服给随便哪个穷娃娃穿

可是我心里很清楚

我再也不会生养啦

那又是我们家头一回死人

可不是嘛

打那以后我们跟过去就完全不一样啦

哦

不要再想下去啦

我可不能想着想着就垂头垂气起来

我一直觉得他[481]带回家来的是个古怪的人

我纳闷他为啥[482]不肯留下来过夜呢

也省得这么满城流浪

万一碰上啥人

盗贼啦 扒手唔的

他那位可怜的妈妈要是在世的话

决不会喜欢这种事儿的

兴许还把他这辈子毁掉呐

不过

这可是个可爱的时辰哩

那么安静

我一向就喜欢舞会散了以后回家来

夜晚那空气啊

男人有着可以交谈的朋友

我们可一个都没有他[483]想要的是他自个儿得不到手的

要么就是随时可以捅上你一刀的女人

我就恨女人的这些方面

也难怪男人会那么对待我们喽

我们是一帮可怕的婊子

我猜想 正是我们的种种麻烦才使我们变得这么泼辣

我可不是那种人

他蛮可以[484]舒舒坦坦地睡在另一间屋子的沙发上

他还那么年轻嘛

刚刚二十来岁我猜他对我就像个少年人那样害羞

呆在隔壁屋

他听得见我往尿盆里撒的声音

真的[485]

这又有啥关系呢

迪达勒斯

我觉得这倒有点儿像直布罗陀的那些姓 德拉帕斯啦 德拉格拉西亚[486]唔的

那儿的人们有着怪里怪气的姓

给过我一串念珠的圣玛利亚的比拉普拉纳神父[487]

住在七道湾街的罗萨利斯伊奥赖利[488]

还有住在总督街的皮希姆勃和奥皮索太太[489]

哦

这叫啥姓呀

我要是有她这么个姓

就干脆跳河去算啦

哎呀

再就是所有那些斜坡

天堂斜街[490]啦

疯人院斜街[491]啦

罗杰斯斜街[492]啦

还有克鲁切兹斜街[493]和鬼峡梯阶[494]

喏

即便我是个冒失鬼也不该怎么怪我

我知道自个儿是有点儿粗心大意我敢向老天爷起誓

跟当时比起来

我并不觉得自个儿长大了多少 我倒纳闷自个儿还会不会叽哩咕噜说点儿西班牙话呢

你好吗

很好

谢谢你 你呢[495]瞧

我还没有像我所想的那样忘干净哪

文法可就不行啦

名词是任何人或地方或东西的名字

可惜呀

我从来也没试着去读一读那个坏脾气的鲁维奥太太借给我的那本巴莱拉[496]的小说

书上的问号统统都是颠倒过来的[497]有两样嘛[497]

我晓得到头来我们总会走掉的

我可以教他[498]西班牙话 他呢

教我意大利话

那么一来他就能明白我还不是那么饭桶

他没留下来过夜

太可惜啦

我敢说可怜的小伙子一定累得要死

非常需要好好儿地睡上一觉 我蛮可以替他把早餐送到床上去吃

还得添上点儿烤面包片儿

只要别把刀子叉上去就行

因为那样就会倒媚的[499]

要么就是假若那个女人挨家挨户送来了水田芹跟旁的啥香甜可口的吃的 厨房里还有几颗橄榄哪

我的力气已渐衰

我要换上我那套最好的衬衣汗裤

让他[514]看个够

那么一来他那物儿就竖起来啦

要是他想知道的话

我就告诉他

他老婆给人操啦

对啦 被狠狠地操了一通

都快操到头儿啦

可不是他

接连丢了五六回

这条干净床单上还留着他那劲头[515]的印儿哪

我干脆不想用烙铁把那印儿熨掉

这就该让他[516]知足啦

你要是不相信我的话就摸摸我的肚子看

除非我能让他那物儿竖起来

搁到我里头去

我就打算把每一个细节都说给他听一听

教他当着我的面儿干一通

假若我是个淫妇

正像顶层楼座的那个家伙[517]所说的那样 他这是活该

一切都怪他自个儿嘛

哦

假若这就是我们女人在泪谷[518]所干下的全部坏事儿

那又算得了啥呢

老天爷知道这算不了啥

难道不是人人都 只不过他们偷偷摸摸地干罢咧

我看恐怕就是为了这个才有女人的

不然的话 上主就不会把我们造得对男人那么有吸引力啦

要是他想亲我的屁股

我就拉开我的汗裤裆

肥滚滚地戳到他面前 不缺零件儿

他蛮可以把舌头往我的窟窿里伸进七英里长去

因为他就贴着我的褐色部位哪 然后我就对他说我要一英镑要么就是三十先令

告诉他我打算买身内衣裤

要是他给了我

喏 他倒也不赖

我并不想学旁的女人那样把他敲榨光啦

我常常有机会给自个儿开上一张有信用的支票

签上他的名字

弄上两三英镑 有好几回他都忘记上锁啦

而且他也不花嘛

我要让他从背后搞

只要别把我那些好内裤都弄脏了就行噢

我想

那总是难免的

我要装出一副满不在乎的样儿

问上他一两个问题

从他的回答我就知道啦

他那股劲儿一上来是瞒不住我的

他的心情有啥变化

我都一清二楚

我要把屁股绷得紧紧的

说几句浪话

闻闻我屁股啦

舔舔我的屎啦

要么就是闪过脑子的头一个疯疯癫癫的念头 然后我就暗示那档子事儿对啦

啊

别急

宝宝

这会儿该轮到我啦

搞的时候我会是十分快活

亲亲热热的 哦

可我忘记了这血淋淋的祸害啦

唉你不知道究竟是该笑还是该哭 好啦 简直是李子和苹果[519]的大杂伴儿

不

我得系上那条旧的[520]

这就好多啦

更服贴一些

他永远也闹不清究竟是不是他弄的

喏

不论是多么旧的玩艺儿

对你来说也就蛮好啦

然后我就像平时那样把他遗漏[521]的从我身上抹掉

接着我就出门啦

让他望着天花板嘀咕 这会儿她到哪儿去了呢 教他急着要我

几点过一刻啦

可真不是个时候

我猜想在中国

人们这会儿准正在起来梳辫子哪

好开始当天的生活

喏

修女们[522]快要敲晨祷钟啦 没有人会进去吵醒她们

除非有个把修士去做夜课[523]啦

要么就是隔壁人家的闹钟

就像鸡叫似的咔嗒咔嗒地响 都快把自个儿的脑子震出来啦

看看能不能打个盹儿

一二三四五

他们设计的这些算是啥花儿啊

就像星星一样 隆巴德街的墙纸可好看多啦

他给我的那条围裙上的花样儿就有点儿像

不过我只用过两回

最好把这灯弄低一些

再试着睡一下

好能早点儿起床

我要到兰贝斯[524]去

它就在芬勒特[525]旁边

叫他们送些花儿来

好把屋子点缀点缀

万一明天

我的意思是说今天

他把他[526]带回家来呢不

不

星期五可是个不吉利的日子[527]

头一桩

我先得把这屋子拾掇拾掇

我寻思灰尘准是在我睡觉的当儿

不知咋地就长出来啦

然后我们可以来点儿音乐 抽抽香烟

我可以替他伴奏

我得先用牛奶把钢琴的键擦擦

我穿啥好呢

要不要戴一朵白玫瑰[528]

要么就来点儿利普顿[529]仙女蛋糕

我就爱闻阔气的大店铺的香味儿

每磅七便士半

不然就是另外那种樱桃馅挂着粉色糖霜的 两磅十一便士

桌子当中间儿还得摆上一盆花草

在哪儿才能买到便宜的呢 喔

前不久我在哪儿瞧见过

我真爱花儿呀

恨不得让这房子整个儿都漂在玫瑰花海上 天上的造物主啊

啥也比不上大自然

蛮荒的山啦

大海啦

滚滚的波浪啦

再就是美丽的田野

一片片庄稼地里长着燕麦啦

小麦啦

各种各样的东西

一群群肥实的牛走来走去

看着心里好舒坦呀

河流湖泊鲜花 啥样形状香味颜色的都有

连沟儿里都绽出了报春花和紫罗兰

这就是大自然 至于那些人说啥天主不存在啦

甭瞧他们一肚子学问

还不配我用两个指头打个榧子哪

他们为啥不自个儿跑去创造点儿啥名堂出来呢

我常常问他[530]这句话 无神论者也罢

不论他们管自个儿叫啥名堂也罢

总得先把自个儿身上的污点[531]洗净呀

等到他们快死啦

又该嚎陶大哭着去找神父啦

为啥呢 为啥呢

因为他们做了亏心事

生怕下地狱啊

对啦

我把他们琢磨透啦 谁是开天辟地第一个人呢

又是谁在啥都不存在以前

创造了万物呢

是谁呢 哎

这他们也不晓得 我也不晓得

这不就结了吗

他们倒不如试着去挡住太阳让它明儿个别升上来呢

他[532]说过

太阳是为你照耀的

那天我们正躺在霍斯岬角的杜鹃花丛里

他穿的是一身灰色花呢衣裤

戴着那顶草帽

就在那天 我使得他向我求婚

对啦

起先我把自个儿嘴里的香籽糕往他嘴里递送了一丁点儿[533]

那是个闰年[534]

跟今年一样

对啦

十六年过去啦

我的天哪

那么长长的一个吻

我差点儿都没气儿啦

对啦

他说我是山里的一朵花儿

对啦

我们都是花儿

女人的身子

对啦

这是他这辈子[535]所说的一句真话 还有那句今天太阳是为你照耀的

对啦这么一来我才喜欢上了他 因为我看出他懂得要么就是感觉到了女人是啥

而且我晓得

我啥时候都能够随便摆布他

我就尽量教他快活

就一步步地引着他

直到他要我答应他

可我呢起先不肯答应

只是放眼望着大海和天空[536]

我在想着那么多他所不知道的事儿

马尔维啦

斯坦厄普先生啦

赫斯特啦

爹爹啦

老格罗夫斯上尉啦

水手们在玩众鸟飞[537]啦

我说弯腰[538]啦

要么就是他们在码头上所说的洗碟子

还有总督府前的哨兵

白盔上镶着一道边儿[539]

可怜的家伙 都快给晒得熟透啦

西班牙姑娘们披着披肩

头上插着高高的梳子

正笑着再就是早晨的拍卖[540]

希腊人啦

犹大人啦

阿拉伯人啦

鬼知道还有旁的啥人

反正都是从欧洲所有最边远的地方来的

再加上公爵街[541]和家禽市场

统统都在拉比沙伦[542]外面嘎嘎乱叫一头头可怜的驴净打瞌睡

差点儿滑跤

阴暗的台阶上

睡着一个个裹着大氅的模模糊糊的身影

还有运公牛的车子[543]那好

大的轱辘

还有几千年的古堡[544]

对啦

还有那些漂亮的摩尔人

全都像国王那样穿着一身白

缠着头巾

请你到他们那小小

店铺里去坐一坐

还有龙达[545]

客栈[546]那一扇扇古老的窗户

窗格后藏着一双明媚的流盼[547]

好让她的情人亲那铁丝格子[548]

还有夜里半掩着门的酒店啦

响板啦

那天晚上我们在阿尔赫

西拉斯误了那班轮渡

打更的拎着灯转悠

平安无事啊

哎唷

深处那可怕的急流

哦

大海有时候大海是深红色的就像火似的

还有那壮丽的落日

再就是阿拉梅达园里的无花果树

对

啦

还有那一条条奇妙的小街

一座座桃红天蓝淡黄的房子

还有玫瑰园啦莱莉花啦天竺葵啦仙人掌啦

在直布罗陀作姑娘的时候我可是那儿的一朵山花儿

对啦

当时我在头发上插了朵玫瑰

像安达卢西亚姑娘们常做的那样

要么我就还是戴朵红玫瑰

吧[549]

好吧

在摩尔墙脚下他[550]曾咋佯地亲我呀

于是我想

喏

他也不比[551]旁的啥人差呀于是我递个眼色教他再向我

求一回

于是他问我愿意吗

对啦

说声好吧我的山花

于是

我先伸出胳膊搂住他

对啦

并且把他往下拽

让他紧贴着我

这样他就能感触到我那对香气袭人的乳房啦

对啦

他那颗心啊如醉如狂

于是我说

好吧

我愿意

好吧。

的里雅斯特——苏黎世——巴黎，1914-1921

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