Tough love
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Reader question:

In this newspaper headline – The Trouble with Tough Love – what's tough love?

My comments:

Tough love is the harsh measures parents sometimes take in disciplining children. For example, some parents administer beatings to a kid who comes back from school with a poor report card. Others stand the child in the corner facing the wall for hours as punishment...

Alright, no more bad examples. But these terrible things are done by parents in the name of love. Parents fear that lack of discipline will spoil their children in the long run. A lot of loving parents, hence, mete1 out tough love on children and sometimes do it with a this-is-going-to-hurt-me-more-than-it's-going-to-hurt-you attitude. In Chinese, that translates to the age old 打是亲,骂是爱 – age old yet second-class behavior nevertheless. As babies learn to walk, run and learn adults' ways, mistakes are bound to be made. So children, if you ask me, could all use a little unconditional2 love from ma and pa no matter what good/bad they've done.

It's just a matter of parents not knowing better, I think, but you get the point about tough love, the term.

The term is used in other situations as well, such as in economics. For instance, Noam Chomsky, in Propaganda and Control of the Public Mind, I think, likens many US pro-capital policies to "tough love" – "love for the rich, tough for everyone else".

Here are media examples:

1. Giuliani embraces tough love (November 8, 2007, Los Angeles Times):

He (Rudolph W. Giuliani) has broadened his image, vowing3 to keep America safe while defending religious rights and families. His combative4 style appears to be working as he leads in the GOP race.

2. Workers want tough love (news.com.au, November 23, 2007):

WOULD-BE managers are often told they should aspire5 to being consensual, team-playing listeners.

But in fact it is hard taskmasters who not are afraid to crack the whip to get the job done that are most valued by employees.

A study by the UK Institute of Leadership & Management has found that people would rather work for a tough boss who is successful than a lenient6 one who fails to deliver the goods.

3. Knicks coach Isiah Thomas tries tough love on disgruntled Stephon Marbury (yahoo.com, November 15, 2007):

Isiah Thomas is trying tough love on Stephon Marbury.

"I love all my players, just like my mother loved me, but sometimes she snatched me out of the park and had tough words for me and did some tough things to me," the New York Knicks coach said after Marbury rejoined the team for Wednesday's night game against the Los Angeles Clippers.

"I want the best for this team. I want the best for every player inside that locker7 room. And sometimes there are tough lessons that need to be learned and there are tough things that we need to do. Every player that's worn a championship ring, there's a heavy price to be paid. That's our goal and that's where we want to get to."



点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 mete t1xyy     
v.分配;给予
参考例句:
  • Schools should not mete out physical punishment to children.学校不应该体罚学生。
  • Duly mete out rewards and punishments.有赏有罚。
2 unconditional plcwS     
adj.无条件的,无限制的,绝对的
参考例句:
  • The victorious army demanded unconditional surrender.胜方要求敌人无条件投降。
  • My love for all my children is unconditional.我对自己所有孩子的爱都是无条件的。
3 vowing caf27b27bed50d27c008858260bc9998     
起誓,发誓(vow的现在分词形式)
参考例句:
  • President Bush is vowing to help Minneapolis rebuild its collapsed bridge. 布什总统承诺将帮助明尼阿波利斯重建坍塌的大桥。
  • President Bush is vowing to help Minneapolis rebuild this collapse bridge. 布什总统发誓要帮助明尼阿波利斯重建起这座坍塌的桥梁。
4 combative 8WdyS     
adj.好战的;好斗的
参考例句:
  • Mr. Obama has recently adopted a more combative tone.奥巴马总统近来采取了一种更有战斗性的语调。
  • She believes that women are at least as combative as are.她相信女性至少和男性一样好斗。
5 aspire ANbz2     
vi.(to,after)渴望,追求,有志于
参考例句:
  • Living together with you is what I aspire toward in my life.和你一起生活是我一生最大的愿望。
  • I aspire to be an innovator not a follower.我迫切希望能变成个开创者而不是跟随者。
6 lenient h9pzN     
adj.宽大的,仁慈的
参考例句:
  • The judge was lenient with him.法官对他很宽大。
  • It's a question of finding the means between too lenient treatment and too severe punishment.问题是要找出处理过宽和处罚过严的折中办法。
7 locker 8pzzYm     
n.更衣箱,储物柜,冷藏室,上锁的人
参考例句:
  • At the swimming pool I put my clothes in a locker.在游泳池我把衣服锁在小柜里。
  • He moved into the locker room and began to slip out of his scrub suit.他走进更衣室把手术服脱下来。
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