TWO Blighted¹ Beings, haggard, lachrymose², and detested³, met on a
blasted heath in the light of a struggling moon.

  "I wish you a merry Christmas," said the First Blighted Being, in a
voice like that of a singing tomb.

  "And I you a happy New Year," responded the Second Blighted Being,
with the accent of a penitent⁴ accordeon.

  They then fell upon each other's neck and wept scalding rills down
each other's spine⁵ in token of their banishment⁶ to the Realm of
Ineffable⁷ Bosh.  For one of these accursed creatures was the First
of January, and the other the Twenty-fifth of December.

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