There was a man named Cao Shang in the State of Song.

 

Once, he was sent on a mission by the King of Song to the State of Qin. Before departure, the King of Song bestowed¹ upon him several horse-drawn chariots. Upon arriving in the State of Qin, Cao Shang won the favour of the King of Qin. Consequently, the King bestowed upon him 100 chariots.

 

Soon afterwards, Cao Shang returned to the State of Song. One day the met Zhuang Zi and said proudly:

 

"In the past, I lived in poor streets and humble² alleys³. I was very poor. And made my living by making shoes. I was sallow and thin. This was my weak point. Now, relying on my clever tongue, I have touched the heart of the King of Qin, who is the sovereign lord with 1000 chariots. He bestowed upon me 100 chariots. This is my strong point."

 

When Zhuang Zi heard this, he gave a snort of contempt and said sarcastically⁴:

 

"I heard that the King of Qin was ill. He let the physicians: those who sucked pus and ate sores would get I horse-drawn chariot; those who licked the piles would get 5 chariots. The more filthy⁵ the illness you treat, the more chariots you would get. You have probably licked his piles; otherwise, how could you acquire that many chariots? You had better go away!"

 

宋国有个人，名叫曹商。

 

一次，他受宋王的派遣，出使秦国。临行时，宋王赐给他几乘车马。到了秦国，曹商很得秦王欢心，于是秦王又赐给他百乘车马。

 

不久，曹商返回宋国。一天，他见到庄子，得意洋洋地说：

 

“过去我身居穷街陋巷，非常贫困，靠编鞋过日子，面黄肌瘦，这是我的短处。现在，我凭着三寸不烂之舌，打动万乘之主的秦王，赐给我车马百乘，这是我的长处。”

 

庄子听了，嗤之以鼻，讽刺他说：

 

“我听说秦王有病，让医生治病，实行论功行赏：吸脓吃疮的，可得马车一乘：舌舐痔疮的，可得车马五乘。治的病越肮脏，得的车马越多。您大概为秦王舐过痔疮吧，不然怎么会得到那么车马呢？您还是给我走开吧！”

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