Top Ten Personal Names of 2003

　　1. Saddam Hussein Just crawled out of the Spider-Hole and back into the spotlight¹.

　　2. W. (Dubya) Can't talk his way out of the news. (See the Top Bush Mispronunciations below.)

　　3. Rush Limbaugh How many pills actually fit into a cigar box?

　　4. Martha Stewart Not really 'cooking the books' but not quite kosher, either.

　　5. Pvt. Jessica Lynch Her rescue enthralled² the nation desperate for good news.

　　6. Howard Dean The doctor from nowhere now has the team with the roadmap from nowhere to the White House-Clinton-Gore.

　　7. Pope John Paul II 25 years in the Papacy have taken their toll³ but he is still with us.

　　8. Ahh-nold That's California's new Governator after cruising over the Count of Bustamante in the recall election.

　　9. Paris Hilton The heiress, apparently⁴ named after one of her grandfather's hotels, landed a job on the Fox Network with the Internet distribution of her 'extracurricular activities'.

　　10. Hans Blix Whose "hans" seem to be tied in his search for the elusive⁵ WMDs.