你真的听懂了对方在说什么吗？有些时候潜台词和字面的意思正相反……

Yes = No.

No = Yes.

Maybe = No.

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.

We need = I want.

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain.

Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron¹!

You're so manly² = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive³ tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs⁴.

This kitchen is so inconvenient⁵ = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Is my butt⁶ fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? =　Too late, you're dead.

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

The same old thing = Nothing.

Nothing = Everything.

Everything = My PMS is acting⁷ up.

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.

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