创新英语作文导与析
文章来源: 文章作者: 发布时间:2007-07-25 08:19 字体: [ ]  进入论坛
(单词翻译:双击或拖选)
一、导语

  What does beauty really mean? Everybody has it's own definition1. The standard of beauty changes with different society, culture and nations. Some hold the point that the beautiful appearance is of great importance, which is visible2 to all. Others have the idea that the spiritual beauty is the loveliest one, which lasts long. However different it might be, their opinions are all acceptable3.

  什么是美呢?每个人都有自己的定义。美的标准因社会、文化和国度不同而产生差异。有的人认为相貌上的美是最重要、最直观的美;有的人认为心灵上的美是最可爱、最长久的美。虽然这些想法大不相同,但是它们对美的定义却都是不无道理的。

  二、创设情境来源:www.examda.com

  以“ What is beauty in your mind? ”为主题,发表自己的观点,题目自拟。要求:

  1. 行文流畅,观点鲜明,论证充分;

  2. 内容丰富,层次分明,逻辑性强;

  3. 词数 150 左右。

  三、学生习作

  ※正方习作※

  Beauty will buy no beef来源:www.examda.com

  Everyone admires beauty. Everyone has his own standard about beauty.

  Nowadays some people tend to think that they own beauty if they have a good looking. They are not satisfied with their appearance. They spend much money taking a kind of operation. Can beauty really be man-made? If so, everybody can get beauty. As a result, there is no beauty at all.

  The appearance is given by our parents and is unique in the world. Everyone should value it. I'd ( 1 ) rather prefer nature as the standard of beauty. Just accept yourself, accept everything the god gives to you, and create the beautiful life ( 2 ) belong to you.

  Many heroes don't have beautiful surface. However, their beautiful images often come to our minds. Their beauty comes from their contributions to the society.

  Don't be eager to judge whether a person is beautiful or not without a thorough4 understanding of him. A beautiful person is not the one with a good looking, but with a broad and kind heart.

  Good looking is pleasant while spiritual beauty is more important. As an old saying goes, “ Virtue5 is fairer than beauty. ” If you have a kind heart, you own real beauty.

  点评:

  本文以谚语“漂亮不能当饭吃”为题,直截了当地亮出了自己的观点。全文以“美德胜于美貌”为主线,阐述了“追求外形美而放弃了内在美并不是真正的美”,“英雄之美源于奉献”。文章观点鲜明,行文顺畅,结构严谨,用词恰当。难能可贵的是,作者能运用谚语来强化自己的观点,有较强的英语语言组织能力和表达能力。

  文中语言错误:( 1 ) I'd rather prefer 改为 I'd prefer . would rather 表“宁愿”, prefer 也是“宁愿”,两者不能连用在一起。( 2 ) belong to 改为 belonging to . belonging to you 在此处作定语。

  ※反方习作※

  A good face is a letter of recommendation6

  Some people say beauty is just a skin deep. I don't quite agree with them. Good appearance often makes a big difference in social communication, competition, finding7 jobs and so on. Not only can good appearance help you become more confident, but also it helps you be impressed. If you want to get a good job, the first sight is important. Physical beauty is ( 1 ) probable8 to draw much attention.

  However, we have to face this problem. We have no right to choose our appearance. When necessary, we can make up ourselves. If you think doing this is a good way to improve your confidence, just do what you really want to regardless ( 2 ) others' opinion. It is worth all the money and time. Facing a variety of social pressures, we young people should build confidence. Confidence is the key to success.

  In a word, you may not be the most beautiful one, but you can be the most attractive one; you may not the best one, but you can be the most confident one. Show yourself and chances will kiss you in time.

  点评:

  爱美之心,人皆有之。一副好脸孔就是一封介绍信。作者围绕这一主题进行阐述。在现代社会里,美丽的外表在社交、竞争、求职等方面的有着不可低估的作用。作者立意大胆,构思巧妙,很有个性。文章叙述清楚,条理清晰,层次分明,过渡自然。在语言表达上,巧妙地使用了倒装、排比等句式和一些“亮点”词语,增强了文章的感染力。对于一名中学生来说,本文不愧是一篇优秀习作。

  文中语言错误:( 1 ) probable 改为 likely . probable 不能用某人或某物作主语,常用 it 作形式主语,构成 it is probable for sb. to do sth. 结构。( 2 ) regardless 之后加 of . regardless of 是复合介词,意为“不理会,不顾”。



点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 definition YxjxE     
n.定义;限定,确定;清晰度
参考例句:
  • The book attempts a definition of his role in world politics.该书要阐明的是他在世界政局中的作用。
  • I made a definition for this word.我给这个字下了定义。
2 visible ohjwd     
adj.看得见的,明显的,显然的;n.可见物
参考例句:
  • It is a visible star in the sky.这是一颗在天空中可见的星星。
  • The warning lights were clearly visible.警示信号灯清晰可见。
3 acceptable NIByZ     
adj.可接受的,合意的,受欢迎的
参考例句:
  • The terms of the contract are acceptable to us.我们认为这个合同的条件可以接受。
  • Air pollution in the city had reached four times the acceptable levels.这座城市的空气污染程度曾高达可接受标准的四倍。
4 thorough zILzR     
adj. 彻底的,完全的,精心的
参考例句:
  • He made a very thorough analysis on the situation.他对形势的分析很透彻。
  • The committee reported its findings after a thorough investigation.委员会在彻底调查以后报告了调查结果。
5 virtue BpqyH     
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力
参考例句:
  • He was considered to be a paragon of virtue.他被认为是品德尽善尽美的典范。
  • You need to decorate your mind with virtue.你应该用德行美化心灵。
6 recommendation ItvyJ     
n.推荐(信)建议,优点,长处
参考例句:
  • I wrote him a good recommendation.我为他写了一封很好的推荐信。
  • This method deserves recommendation.这种做法值得提倡。
7 finding 5tAzVe     
n.发现,发现物;调查的结果
参考例句:
  • The finding makes some sense.该发现具有一定的意义。
  • That's an encouraging finding.这是一个鼓舞人心的发现。
8 probable cQVxF     
adj.可能的,有望发性或实现的
参考例句:
  • It is probable to finish the job before dark.天黑之前有可能完成这项工作。
  • It is hardly probable that he will succeed.他不会成功。
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