A man finally goes with his wife to church, after promising¹ her for weeks that he'd go. Surprisingly, the man was so impressed with the preacher's sermon he stopped on the way out to shake his hand.

"Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a DAMN fine sermon."

The preacher says, "Why thank you sir, but we don't used profanity in the house of the Lord."

The man says, "But preacher, seriously, I'm not a religious man, but that was the best DAMNED sermon I ever heard."

The preacher says again, "Sir, while I appreciate what you're trying to say, I must be blunt: DO NOT use curse words in the Lord's house again."

The man says, "Well, anyway, I was so impressed with your sermon that I placed $5000 dollars in the collection plate".

"No Shit?" says the Preacher.