The day before Thanksgiving this little boy heard his mom and dad
fighting. The husband said to his wife, "You stupid bitch, you have
floppy¹ tits." She wasn't about to be outdone and said, "Well you have
a crooked² dick, you bastard³." Well, the little boy heard every word
they said. After they got done fighting, he went up to the mom and
asked her what bitches and bastards⁴ were. She told him that they were
people. Then he asked what crooked dicks and floppy tits were. She told
him that they were coats and hats. The little boy accepted both answers
and went on his way.

The next day, they were getting ready for a huge feast with friends and
family. The little boy went up stairs where his dad was shaving. The
dad cut himself and said "Shit!" Well once again, the boy started asking
questions and asked what "shit" was. The father told him that it
was "shaving cream". The boy accepted this answer and went downstairs
were his mom was stuffing a turkey. When the mom cut herself with a
knife, she said "Fuck!" The boy once again asked what "fuck" was. She
told him that it was "stuffing". About that time, the door bell rang.

When the little boy went to answer the door, it was his grandparents.
Upon opening the door, the little boy said: "Hi bitches and bastards.
Let me take your crooked dicks and floppy tits for you. Dad's upstairs
putting shit on his face and mom's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."