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1. How to cut sleeves off a shirt?
This year was largely focused on vandalising your clothes: razoring your jean hems1, cropping your tops and, apparently2, de-sleeving your shirts. To do this one, you need scissors and good arms. Were fairly confident this question was made up.
2. How do I start modelling?
A bleak3 perennial4 on the search engine's annual fashion question roundup but, anyway ... To start, you need remarkable5 genes6. If the year's catwalk was anything to go by, you also needed curly hair and a decent handle on Instagram.
3. What is haute couture?
Thought £2,000 for a dress was expensive? Think again!
Haute couture is like catwalk fashion except way, way more expensive, made to order as opposed to ready to wear and as close as fashion gets to art.
4. How to wear booties with skinny jeans?
In fashion parlance7, with a sliver8 of ankle flesh showing. In normal parlance, just shove them on, mate.
5. When can you start wearing white?
Before Labor9 Day, but also when you don't have or want a baby, no longer take public transport, give up coffee and are the Flotus present or elect.
6. How to become a fitness model?
Sign up to Instagram. Get a handle like StrongIsSexxxxi41. Remember that the straw of your green juice is a conduit to an alternative reality where your Lycra sports bra is never three sizes too small and that all burgers are props10 not sustenance11.
7. What is boho?
Essentially12: dressing13 up like Florence Welchs cat-lady aunt after a day spent foraging14 for oyster15 mushrooms.
8. What did people wear in the 90s?
Lots of layers. So many layers that people questioned the eyesight, taste and sanity16 of a generation.
9. How to dress like a hippy?
Repeat (7) but with less awkwardly perched hats and a more laissez-faire attitude to personal hygiene17.
10. How to become a fashion designer?
The best thing a burgeoning18 designer can do is put down the mood board, appear on I'm Dancing on Ice in the Big Brother Bake-Off and drop a sex tape.
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