友达以上，恋人未满？那么也许你可以加把油，因为研究显示，多达三分之二的夫妇或情侣是从朋友开始做起的。相比浪漫的一见钟情，还是日久生情更为普遍。

 

When Harry¹ first met Sally, he asserted men and women could not be friends because the "sex part always gets in the way".

当哈利第一次遇见莎莉时，他曾宣称男人和女人不能做朋友，因为“总躲不过性这一关”。

 

But new research suggests roughly two-thirds of couples start out as friends and maintain a platonic² relationship for long periods before sparking a romance.

但是新研究显示，约三分之二的夫妇或情侣是从朋友开始做起的，在碰撞出爱情火花之前维持了很长一段时间的柏拉图式的关系。

 

Danu Anthony Stinson, an associate professor in the department of psychology³ at the University of Victoria, Canada, and her co-authors investigated the experience of nearly 1,900 university students and crowdsourced adults (including 677 who were married or in a common law partnership), all of whom were asked whether they were friends with their current romantic partner before they became romantically involved.

加拿大维多利亚大学心理学系副教授达努·安东尼·斯廷森和该研究报告的合著者们调查了近1900名大学生和参与众包的成年人（包括677名已婚者或同居者）的经历，并向所有受访者提出了一个问题：他们和现任伴侣在一起之前两人是不是朋友。

 

Most participants (68%) reported that their current or most recent romantic relationship began as a friendship. The rate of friends-first initiation⁴ was even higher among 20-somethings, with 85% of such couples saying their romance began as a friendship.

多数参与者（68%）报告称，他们和现任或上一任伴侣就是从朋友开始做起的。始于友情的爱情在二十几岁的人当中所占的比例更高，其中有85%的夫妇或情侣表示他们在成为恋人之前是朋友。

 

How does a platonic relationship turn romantic and what really is the distinction between friends and lovers is a question that is still being unpicked, Stinson said.

斯廷森表示，柏拉图式的关系如何转变为爱情，以及朋友和恋人之间的分界线究竟在哪里，仍然是未解的难题。

 

Some participants described holding hands, family introductions, going on trips together, cuddling by the fire, and even having sex, as friendship. Others categorised those exact behaviours as romantic.

有些参与者将牵手、把对方引见给家人、一起去旅游、依偎在炉火旁、甚至发生性关系都定义为朋友之间做的事，而其他人则认为这些都是恋人才做的事。

 

In the study, roughly 300 university students were also asked how long their "friends phase" lasted and whether they preferred to be friends before taking things in a romantic direction. On average, the "friends first" initiators were friends for nearly 22 months before the relationship turned romantic and almost half of the total sample thought that friends-first initiation was the best way to start a new romantic relationship, versus⁵ the other options presented such as meeting at a party or online, the researchers wrote in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science.

在这项发表在期刊《社会心理学与人格科学》上的研究中，近300名大学生被问及他们的“友情期”持续了多长时间，以及他们是否愿意在谈恋爱之前先做朋友。研究人员写道，从朋友开始做起的夫妇或情侣之间的友情平均持续了将近22个月才转变为爱情。相比在派对上或网上认识等其他选择，近半数的受访者认为先做朋友是开始一段新恋情的最佳方式。

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