文章来源:未知 文章作者:enread 发布时间:2023-02-14 09:20 字体: [ ]  进入论坛

  Thank you, President Cowan, Mrs. President Cowen;distinguished guests, undistinguished guests -you know who you are, honored faculty1 and creepySpanish teacher.


  And thank you to all the graduating class of 2009, Irealize most of you are hungover and have splittingheadaches and haven't slept since Fat Tuesday, butyou can't graduate 'til I finish, so listen up.


  When I was asked to make the commencement speech, I immediately said yes. Then I went tolook up what commencement meant. Which would have been easy if I had a dictionary, butmost of the books in our house are Portia's, and they're all written in Australian. So I had tobreak the word down myself, to find out the meaning.


  Commencement: common, and cement. Common cement. You commonly see cement onsidewalks. Sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack, you break your mother's back. Sothere's that. But I'm honored that you've asked me here to speak at your common cement.


  I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus - alumini - aluminum3 - alumis - you had tograduate from this school. And I didn't go to college here, and I don't know if President Cowanknows, I didn't go to any college at all. Any college. And I'm not saying you wasted your time,or money, but look at me, I"m a huge celebrity4.


  Although I did graduate from the school of hard knocks, our mascot5 was the knockers. I spenta lot of time here growing up. My mom worked at (? 估计是某家商店的名字) and I would go thereevery time I needed to steal something out of her purse. But why am I here today? Clearly notto steal, you're too far away and I'd never get away with it.


  I'm here because of you. Because I can't think of a more tenacious6, more courageousgraduating class. I mean, look at you all, wearing your robes. Usually when you're wearing arobe at 10 in the morning, it means you've given up. I'm here because I love New Orleans. I wasborn and raised here, I spent my formative years here, and like you, while I was living here Ionly did laundry six times.


  When I finished school, I was completely lost. And by school, I mean middle school, but I wentahead and finished high school anyway. And I - I really, I had no ambition, I didn't know what Iwanted to do. I did everything from - I shucked oysters7, I was a hostess, I was a bartender, Iwas a waitress, I painted houses, I sold vaccuum cleaners, I had no idea. And I thought I'd justfinally settle in some job, and I would make enough money to pay my rent, maybe have basiccable, maybe not, I didn't really have a plan, my point is that, by the time I was your age, Ireally thought I knew who I was, but I had no idea. Like for example, when I was your age, Iwas dating men. So what I'm saying is, when you're older, most of you will be gay. Anyonewriting this stuff down? Parents?


  Anyway, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and the way I ended up on this pathwas from a very tragic8 event. I was maybe 19, and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a caraccident. And I passed the accident, and I didn't know it was her and I kept going, and I foundout shortly after that, it was her. And I was living in a basement apartment, I had no money, Ihad no heat, no air, I had a mattress9 on the floor and the apartment was infested10 with fleas11.And I was soul-searching, I was like, why is she suddenly gone, and there are fleas here? Idon't understand, there must be a purpose, and wouldn't it be so convenient if we could pickup12 the phone and call God, and ask these questions.


  And I started writing and what poured out of me was an imaginary conversation with God,which was one-sided, and I finished writing it and I looked at it and I said to myself, and Ihadn't even been doing stand-up, ever, there was no club in town. I said, "I'm gonna do this onthe Tonight Show With Johnny Carson"- at the time he was the king - "and I'm gonna be thefirst woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down." And several years later, Iwas the first woman in the history of the show, and only woman in the history of the show tosit down, because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote.


  And I started this path of stand-up and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard,because I was trying to please everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I wasgay. And I thought if people found out they wouldn't like me, they wouldn't laugh at me.


  Then my career turned into - I got my own sitcom13, and that was very successful, another levelof success. And I thought, what if they find out I'm gay, then they'll never watch, and this wasa long time ago, this was when we just had white presidents - this was back, many years ago -and I finally decided14 that I was living with so much shame, and so much fear, that I just couldn'tlive that way anymore, and I decided to come out and make it creative. And my characterwould come out at the same time, and it wasn't to make a political statement, it wasn't to doanything other than to free myself up from this heaviness that I was carrying around, and I justwanted to be honest. And I thought, "What's the worst that could happen? I can lose mycareer". I did. I lost my career. The show was cancelled after six years, without even telling me, Iread it in the paper. The phone didn't ring for three years. I had no offers. Nobody wanted totouch me at all.


  Yet, I was getting letters from kids that almost committed suicide, but didn't, because of whatI did. And I realised that I had a purpose. And it wasn't just about me and it wasn't aboutcelebrity, but I felt like I was being punished... it was a bad time, I was angry, I was sad, andthen I was offered a talkshow. And the people that offered me the talkshow tried to sell it. Andmost stations didn't want to pick it up. Most people didn't want to buy it because they thoughtnobody would watch me.


  Really when I look back on it, I wouldn't change a thing. I mean, it was so important for me tolose everything because I found out what the most important thing is, is to be true to yourself.Ultimately, that's what's gotten me to this place. I don't live in fear, I'm free, I have no secrets.and I know I'll always be ok, because no matter what, I know who I am.


  So In conclusion, when I was younger I thought success was something different. I thoughtwhen I grow up, I want to be famous. I want to be a star. I want to be in movies. When I growup I want to see the world, drive nice cars, I want to have groupies. To quote the PussycatDolls. How many people thought it was "boobies", by the way? It's not, it's "groupies".


  But my idea of success is different today. And as you grow, you'll realise the definition ofsuccess changes. For many of you, today, success is being able to hold down 20 shots oftequila. For me, the most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity, and notto give into peer pressure. to try to be something that you're not. To live your life as anhonest and compassionate15 person. to contribute in some way.


  So to conclude my conclusion: follow your passion, stay true to yourself. Never followanyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path, and by allmeans you should follow that. Don't give advice, it will come back and bite you in the ass2. Don'ttake anyone's advice. So my advice to you is to be true to yourself and everything will be fine.


  And I know that a lot of you are concerned about your future, but there's no need to worry.The economy is booming, the job market is wide open, the planet is just fine. It's gonna begreat. You've already survived a hurricane. What else can happen to you? And as I mentionedbefore, some of the most devastating16 things that happen to you will teach you the most. Andnow you know the right questions to ask in your first job interview. Like, "Is it above sealevel?" .


  So to conclude my conclusion that I've previously17 concluded, in the common cementspeech, I guess what I'm trying to say is life is like one big Mardi Gras. But instead of showingyour boobs, show people your brain, and if they like what they see, you'll have more beads18 thanyou know what to do with. And you'll be drunk, most of the time. So the Katrina class of 2009,I say congratulations and if you don't remember a thing I said today, remember this: you'regonna be ok, dum de dum dum dum, just dance.

  因此……总结一下我刚才做的我的“常见的水泥”演讲的结论(大家笑),我猜我想说的是,人生犹如一场狂欢嘉年华,记得展现你的头脑,而不是胸部。……2009年的毕业生们,我说祝贺大家了!若你不记得我今天说的任何话,就请记住这一句:you’re going to be ok,dun-doom-doom-doom(大家愣),just dance!(所有人大笑欢呼)


1 faculty HhkzK     
  • He has a great faculty for learning foreign languages.他有学习外语的天赋。
  • He has the faculty of saying the right thing at the right time.他有在恰当的时候说恰当的话的才智。
2 ass qvyzK     
  • He is not an ass as they make him.他不象大家猜想的那样笨。
  • An ass endures his burden but not more than his burden.驴能负重但不能超过它能力所负担的。
3 aluminum 9xhzP     
  • The aluminum sheets cannot be too much thicker than 0.04 inches.铝板厚度不能超过0.04英寸。
  • During the launch phase,it would ride in a protective aluminum shell.在发射阶段,它盛在一只保护的铝壳里。
4 celebrity xcRyQ     
  • Tom found himself something of a celebrity. 汤姆意识到自己已小有名气了。
  • He haunted famous men, hoping to get celebrity for himself. 他常和名人在一起, 希望借此使自己获得名气。
5 mascot E7xzm     
  • The football team's mascot is a goat.足球队的吉祥物是山羊。
  • We had a panda as our mascot.我们把熊猫作为吉详物。
6 tenacious kIXzb     
  • We must learn from the tenacious fighting spirit of Lu Xun.我们要学习鲁迅先生韧性的战斗精神。
  • We should be tenacious of our rights.我们应坚决维护我们的权利。
7 oysters 713202a391facaf27aab568d95bdc68f     
牡蛎( oyster的名词复数 )
  • We don't have oysters tonight, but the crayfish are very good. 我们今晚没有牡蛎供应。但小龙虾是非常好。
  • She carried a piping hot grill of oysters and bacon. 她端出一盘滚烫的烤牡蛎和咸肉。
8 tragic inaw2     
  • The effect of the pollution on the beaches is absolutely tragic.污染海滩后果可悲。
  • Charles was a man doomed to tragic issues.查理是个注定不得善终的人。
9 mattress Z7wzi     
  • The straw mattress needs to be aired.草垫子该晾一晾了。
  • The new mattress I bought sags in the middle.我买的新床垫中间陷了下去。
10 infested f7396944f0992504a7691e558eca6411     
adj.为患的,大批滋生的(常与with搭配)v.害虫、野兽大批出没于( infest的过去式和过去分词 );遍布于
  • The kitchen was infested with ants. 厨房里到处是蚂蚁。
  • The apartments were infested with rats and roaches. 公寓里面到处都是老鼠和蟑螂。
11 fleas dac6b8c15c1e78d1bf73d8963e2e82d0     
n.跳蚤( flea的名词复数 );爱财如命;没好气地(拒绝某人的要求)
  • The dog has fleas. 这条狗有跳蚤。
  • Nothing must be done hastily but killing of fleas. 除非要捉跳蚤,做事不可匆忙。 来自《简明英汉词典》
12 pickup ANkxA     
  • I would love to trade this car for a pickup truck.我愿意用这辆汽车换一辆小型轻便卡车。||The luck guy is a choice pickup for the girls.那位幸运的男孩是女孩子们想勾搭上的人。
13 sitcom 9iMzBQ     
  • This sitcom is produced in cooperation with Hong Kong TV.这部连续剧是同香港电视台联合制作的。
  • I heard that a new sitcom is coming out next season.我听说下一季会推出一个新的情境喜剧。
14 decided lvqzZd     
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
15 compassionate PXPyc     
  • She is a compassionate person.她是一个有同情心的人。
  • The compassionate judge gave the young offender a light sentence.慈悲的法官从轻判处了那个年轻罪犯。
16 devastating muOzlG     
  • It is the most devastating storm in 20 years.这是20年来破坏性最大的风暴。
  • Affairs do have a devastating effect on marriages.婚外情确实会对婚姻造成毁灭性的影响。
17 previously bkzzzC     
  • The bicycle tyre blew out at a previously damaged point.自行车胎在以前损坏过的地方又爆开了。
  • Let me digress for a moment and explain what had happened previously.让我岔开一会儿,解释原先发生了什么。
18 beads 894701f6859a9d5c3c045fd6f355dbf5     
n.(空心)小珠子( bead的名词复数 );水珠;珠子项链
  • a necklace of wooden beads 一条木珠项链
  • Beads of perspiration stood out on his forehead. 他的前额上挂着汗珠。