Mike and Sulley froze as the can rolled across the room. It came to a stop, apparently¹ undamaged. Both monsters let out a sigh of relief.

But just then, the can burst open — and a horrifying² scream escaped! Students gasped³ and ran for cover as the can spun⁴ wildly around the room like a def lating balloon while the ear-splitting scream escaped. At last, it fell in front of Mike and Sulley with a gurgle. The scream can was completely empty.

A huge dark f igure, wings outstretched, landed in front of Mike and Sulley. They were face to face with Dean Hardscrabble. She picked up her drained can. Randy immediately disappeared.

"I'm so sorry," Mike said.

"It was an accident," Sulley added.

Dean Hardscrabble shrugged⁵ and looked into the empty, twisted can. "What, this?" Her tone was unnervingly steady. "My one souvenir from a lifetime of scaring? Well, accidents happen, don't they? The important thing is no one got hurt."

Mike and Sulley were stunned⁶. "You're taking this remarkably⁷ well," Mike said gratefully.

Dean Hardscrabble nodded. "Now, let's continue the exams," she said, looking at Mike. "Mr. Wazowski, I'm a five-year-old girl on a farm in Kansas afraid of lightning. Which scare do you use?"

Mike looked around, confused. "Shouldn't I go up on the simulator?" he asked.

Dean Hardscrabble leaned toward him. "Which scare do you use?" she repeated sternly.

Mike quickly gathered his wits and answered, "That is a Shadow Approach with a Cackle Holler."

"Demonstrate," Dean Hardscrabble said.

Mike took a deep breath. This was it. It was all on the line. But before he could even begin, Dean Hardscrabble spoke⁸ again: "Stop! Thank you."

"But I didn't get to —" Mike started to say.

"I've seen enough,"Dean Hardscrabble said, and turned away. She looked at Sulley to indicate it was his turn. "I'm a seven-year-old boy —"

Before she could complete her sentence, Sulley stepped up and let out a ferocious⁹ ROARRR!

Dean Hardscrabble's dragon eyes narrowed. "I wasn't finished," she snapped.

"I don't need any of that stuf f to scare," Sulley replied conf idently.

"That 'stuf f,' " Dean Hardscrabble said, "would have informed you that this particular child is afraid of snakes. So a roar wouldn't make him scream. It would make him cry, alerting his parents, exposing the monster world, destroying life as we know it, and of course we can't have that. So I'm afraid I cannot recommend that you continue in the Scaring Program. Good day."

Sulley laughed, unable to believe she could possibly mean it. Then he saw the cold look in her eyes. "Wait, what? But I'm a Sullivan!"

Dean Hardscrabble smiled. "Well, then I'm sure your family will be very disappointed."

Sulley looked around the room, confused. He was sure someone was going to say it was all a big mistake. But then he spotted¹⁰ Johnny and his ROR brothers as they left the gallery, taking his fraternity jacket with them.

As Sulley stumbled away in shock, Dean Hardscrabble turned back to Mike. "And, Mr. Wazowski, I'm afraid what you lack is something that cannot be taught. You're not scary. You will not be continuing in the Scaring Program."

It hit Mike like a freight train. "No, you've made a mistake," he said. "Please, let me try the simulator. I'll surprise you!"

"I doubt that very much," Dean Hardscrabble replied. She nodded to Professor Knight¹¹, who motioned the next student forward.

Mike was dumbstruck. Just like that, it was over. He left the class feeling like someone had sucked all the oxygen out of his world.

 

麦克和毛怪怔怔地看着收集罐在教室里滚着，然后停住了，显然没有受到损坏。他俩都舒了一口气。

但就在这时，收集罐突然迸裂开来，发出一阵可怕的尖叫声。紧接着它就像一只漏气的气球一般在大厅里到处乱窜，一串串震耳欲聋的尖叫声从里面喷涌而出，同学们被吓得喘着粗气，纷纷找地方躲避。最终，收集罐掉在了麦克和毛怪面前，发出“咯咯”的声响。现在，它彻底成了个空罐子。

一个张着翅膀的巨大黑影落在麦克和毛怪面前，郝刻薄院长和他们面对面站着。院长捡起那只空空的收集罐。蓝道吓得立刻隐形了。

“真的很抱歉。”麦克说道。

“这是个意外。”毛怪补充道。

郝刻薄院长耸了耸肩，看了看空空的破罐子。“什么？这个吗？”她的语气镇定得叫人害怕，“这个我一生惊吓事业的见证品吗？嗯，意外总在发生，不是吗？好在没人受伤。”

麦克和毛怪感到非常震惊。“院长，您真是宽宏大量。”麦克感激地说。

院长点点头说：“好了，我们继续考试吧。”她看着麦克说道：“华斯基先生，我是堪萨斯农场的一个五岁小女孩儿，害怕闪电。你打算用哪种惊吓方式？”

麦克四下环顾，表情困惑。“我是不是该先进模拟舱？”他问道。

郝院长朝他俯下身，严厉地重复了一遍：“回答我，你打算用哪种惊吓方式？”

麦克立即恢复了理智，回答道：“我会在黑暗中靠近，同时发出‘噼啪’的声音。”

“开始示范。”院长说。

麦克做了个深呼吸，准备按部就班地进行。但还没等他开始，郝院长又发话了：“可以了，谢谢。”

麦克试图解释：“可是我还没……”

“这就够了。”院长说着，转过身看向毛怪，示意轮到他了：“我是一个七岁的小男孩……”

院长的话还没说完，毛怪就走上前，发出了一声凶狠的吼叫。

郝刻薄院长眯起她那双龙眼，厉声说道：“我还没说完。”

毛怪自信地回答：“我不用听那些东西就能吓唬人。”

院长说道：“那些‘东西’会让你知道这个孩子最怕的是蛇，所以大吼不会令他尖叫，只会让他大哭，招来他的父母，从而暴露我们的世界，摧毁我们的生活，这当然是绝对不能发生的。所以，恐怕我无法赞成你继续留在惊吓学院学习了。再见。”

毛怪笑了，他不相信院长会是说真的。接着他看到了院长冷冰冰的眼神：“等等，什么？我可是苏利文家的！”

郝刻薄院长微笑了一下：“是嘛，那我相信你的家族一定非常失望。”

毛怪迷茫地环顾着整个大厅，他确信今天的事一定是个天大的误会。但是紧接着，他看到强哥和精吓会的成员们离开了大厅，而且还带走了他的会服。

毛怪震惊不已，踉踉跄跄地向外走去。郝刻薄院长转过身对麦克说：“还有你，华斯基先生，你所缺少的恐怕是天赋，而这一点后天无从弥补。你一点儿也不吓人。所以你也不能留在惊吓学院继续学习了。”

麦克听到这句话就像是被货车撞了一下。“不，您弄错了，”他说，“求您了，让我进模拟舱试试，我会给您惊喜的！”

“我对此深表怀疑。”院长说着，朝奈特教授点点头，于是教授示意下一位学生继续考试。

麦克目瞪口呆。就这样，一切都结束了。他离开了教室，感觉就好像有人从他的世界里抽走了所有的氧气。

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