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make sure you boys had a decent meal to look forward to in the morning.
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I know you're out of your minds with grief.
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Yes, we are.
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Of course, I will need the baskets back once you're done.
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Of course.
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Susan Mayer, who lives across the street,
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brought macaroni and cheese.
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Her husband Carl always teased her about her macaroni,
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saying it was the only thing she knew how to cook,
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and she rarely made it well.
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It was too salty the night she and Carl moved into their house.
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It was too watery1 the night she found lipstick2 on Carl's shirt.
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She burned it the night carl told her he was leaving her for his secretary.
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A year had passed since the divorce.
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Susan had started to think how nice it would be to have a man in her life,
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even one who would make fun of her cooking.
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Mom... why would someone kill themselves?
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Well... sometimes people are so unhappy,
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they think that's the only way they can solve their problems.
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But mrs. Young always seemed happy.
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Yeah, sometimes people pretend to be one way on the outside when they're totally different on the inside.
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Oh, you mean like how dad's girlfriend always smiling and says nice things,
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but deep down, you just know she's a bitch?
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I don't like that word, Julie.
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But, yeah, that's a great example.
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Hey, what's going on? Sorry I'm late.
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Hi, susan.
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Hey. So, what did Carl say when you confronted him?
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You'll love this. He said...
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"it doesn't mean anything. It was just sex."
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Ah, yes, page one of the philanderer's handbook.
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Yeah, and then he got this zen look on his face, and he said, "you know, Susan,
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most men live lives of quiet desperation."
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Please tell me you punched him.
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No, I said, "really? And what do most women lead
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lives of noisy fulfillment?"
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Hmm. Good for you.
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I mean, of all people, did he have to bang his secretary? I had that woman over for brunch3.
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It's like my grandmother always said -- an erect4 penis doesn't have a conscience.
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Even the limp ones aren't that ethical5.
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This is half the reason I joined the NRA.
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Well, when Rex started going to those medical conferences,
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I wanted it in the back of his mind that he had a loving wife at home
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with a loaded Smith & Wesson.
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Lynnie, Tom's always away on business. Do you ever worry he might?
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Oh, please, the man's gotten me pregnant three times in four years.
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I wish he was having sex with someone else.
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So, Susan, is he going to stop seeing that woman?
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I don't know.
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I'm sorry, you guys. I just...