301
Carlos had it imported from Italy.

302
It cost him $23,000.

303
You want to do it on the table this time?

304
Absolutely.

305
Why can't we ever have normal soup?

306
Danielle, there is nothing abnormal about basil puree.

307
Just once, couldn't we have a soup that people have heard of?

308
Like french onion or navy bean.

309
First of all, your father can't eat onions. He's deathly allergic¹.

310
And I won't even dignify² your navy bean suggestion.

311
So... how's the osso buco?

312
It's okay.

313
It's okay?

314
Andrew, I spent three hours cooking this meal.

315
How do you think it makes me feel when you say "it's okay" in that sullen³ tone?

316
Who asked you to spend three hours on dinner?

317
Excuse me?

318
Tim Harper's mom gets home from work,

319
pops open a can of pork and beans,

320
and boom, they're eating. Everyone's happy.

321
You'd rather I serve pork and beans?

322
Apologize now. I am begging.

323
I'm saying, do you always have to serve cuisine⁴?

324
Can't we ever just have food?

325
Are you doing drugs?

326
What?

327
Change in behavior is one of the warning signs,

328
and you have been as fresh as paint for the last six months.

329
That certainly would explain why you're always locked in the bathroom.

330
- Trust me, that is not what he is doing.
- Shut up.

331
Mom, I'm not the one with the problem here, all right?

332
You're the one always acting⁵ like she's running for mayor of Stepford.

333
Rex.

334
Seeing that you're the head of this household, I would really appreciate you saying something.

335
Pass the salt?

336
Three days after my funeral,

337
Lynette replaced her grief with a much more useful emotion --

338
indignation.

339
Tom, this is my fifth message, and you still haven't called me back.

340
Well, you must be having a lot of fun on your business trip. I can only imagine.

341
Well, guess what -- the kids and I want to have some fun, too,

342
so unless you call me back by noon,

343
we are getting on a plane and joining you.

344
Mom!

345
Not now, honey. Mommy's threatening daddy.

346
Mom. No, I -- where are your brothers?

347
- Noodles.
- My favorite.

348
Lynette Scavo?

349
Crap.

350
Natalie Klein. I don't believe it.

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