Donna: Okay, good night, two cowboys.

Ben: Reach for the sky, Pocahontas.

Donna: No, back to bed. Come on. Pocahontas is off duty. You getting sick, sheriff?

Michael: I don't got time to be sick, so no. I need to watch this documentary¹ on Asian architecture.

Donna: Well, you gotta get some rest sometime, sweetheart. Besides, the woodland creatures will laugh at you if you collapse² trying to put up the tent this weekend.

Michael: Yeah. I forgot to tell you. We gotta postpone³ the camping trip. Ammer put me on a project. It's due Tuesday. If I don't finish this design, I'm off it, so...

Donna: The kids have been talking about camping all year.

Michael: Think I don't know that? It's just every choice I make, everything I do, I disappoint somebody.

Donna: So, maybe make sure you don't keep disappointing the wrong people.

Michael: Honey, I'm not out drinking or gambling⁴ or hitting on chicks. I'm working my ass⁵ off so my family can have a better life than I've dreamed about when I was a kid. The only way for that to happen is for me to watch this stinking⁶ show! So relax, hon. Ah! Are you kidding me? Will you give me a break one time? Damn⁷ it! The O'Doyles got a stinking universal remote control. We're gonna have one too. I'm sick of this.

Donna: You want me to open the garage for you?

Michael: Yeah. Closed. Closed. Open. Bed Bath & Beyond it is. Hey, man? You guys got universal remote controls in there?

Man: For a shower curtain or a bathmat?

Michael: For a television.

Man: I don't think so. Maybe for a blanket?

Michael: You got a remote for a blanket?

Man: I’m sorry, dude. I don't work here. I'm waiting for my friends.

Michael: You're kidding me.

Man: Actually, yes. I don't have any friends. Will you be my friend? Wow, wow, man.

Michael: Bed. Bed. Bath. Bath. Bed. So tired of my life. Beyond? Sorry to sneak⁸ up on you. I just... You guys got a universal remote control back here?

Morty: Something stinks⁹ like stale French fries.

Michael: All right, that's probably me.

Morty: You know, fast food shortens¹⁰ your life.

Michael: Yeah, that's what I heard. But the way my life's been going lately, that ain't such a bad thing.

Morty: You're looking for a universal remote control?

Michael: Yeah. Just one device to do it all for me... make my life a little easier, quicker, not so damn complicated.

Morty: I'm not supposed to do this, but you seem like a good guy.

Michael: Hey. Somebody noticed. Thank you.

Morty: I'm gonna show you a remote we just got in that's probably the most advanced piece of technology we have in this place.

Michael: Sounds sweet.

Morty: It is sweet. The latest, greatest universal remote not even on the market yet.

Michael: I guess the O'Doyles' remote can bite my advanced-technological ass then.

Morty: I don't know the O'Doyles. But they can bite it hard.

妙语佳句，活学活用

1. Off duty

这个片语我们并不陌生，off duty 的意思是“not at one's post or work; at liberty”，例如：They spent their days off duty in hiking and fishing.

Off duty 的反义词就是on duty，意为“At one's post, at work”，例如：The new nurse was on duty that evening.

2. Be off

Be off 有“Be free from work, school, or some other regular occupation”的意思，在这个电影片段中Michael 的意思是如果他不能在到期之前完成设计的话，他就不能再做这个设计工程了。我们来看个例子：The secretary is off today, but perhaps I can find it.

3. Hit on

Hit on 这个俚语的意思是“骚扰，勾引”，例如：John loves to go out and hit on chicks.