Michael: I think maybe there in the middle?

Morty: Sneaky.

Michael: Where's the box? Does it come with directions?

Morty: Not necessary. Just point, click. Eventually, it will program itself.

Michael: How much is this thing? Because I ain't exactly Thurston Howell, you know?

Morty: Lucky for you, it's not in the bar code¹ system yet. So I'm gonna have to just give it to you.

Michael: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's the catch here, man? Want me to take my shirt off for you? Because I don't play for that team.

Morty: Hey. Man, get out of here.

Michael: Why are you doing this, then?

Morty: Because good guys need a break every once in a while.

Michael: Take it.

Morty: Enjoy.

Michael: All right.

Morty: Only one thing you need to know, Michael. This item is nonreturnable.

Michael: Why would I wanna return something I got for free?

Michael: Twinkie. You don't need it. You don't need it, man. You do need a Yodel, though. Okay. Good job. Let's see what you got, mate². Look at me, turning my own TV on. I'm a freaking whiz kid.

Donna: So I talked to the kids.

Michael: Oh, yeah?

Donna: They’ve been very understanding about not going camping this weekend.

Michael: Great.

Donna: They could have a sleepover instead.

Michael: That's a great idea. Thank you, thank you. Thanks for being so cool about this too.

Donna: Can I ask you something?

Michael: Yes.

Donna: After you do all this work and become a big player at your company, do you really think you're gonna have more time for us, or are things just gonna get even more out of control?

Michael: Wait. Wait. When I get to that place and become a boss, a millionaire, a big shot, the first thing I'm gonna do is to hire a bunch of idiots³ just like me to do all my work. So then you, me and the kids can do whatever the hell⁴ we want. You just gotta give me some time. Don't give me that look. I'm just saying, give me some support. All right? I love you. Go to sleep.

Donna: Just think about it, Michael.

Michael: Absolutely.

Donna: And stop with the Yodels. You're gonna wake up 400 pounds one day.

Michael: Okay. Hey, hey, hey. Keep it down, dude. Everybody's sleeping. You gotta poop again? Why don't you do the humpy-pumpy on the duck, okay? Will you just hold it in for five minutes and keep the freaking volume down?

妙语佳句，活学活用

1. Direction

在一些进口产品上常可以看到“Directions”这个标识。Direction 在这里的意思是“（使用）说明”。而“说明”当然不止一条了，因此是“Directions”。

2. In the bar code system

Bar code 指的是商品上的“条形码”。当商店、超市进货后，会将条形码扫一遍，全部的商品信息都储存在电脑系统里。Morty 的意思是“这个universal remote”并没有入库。

3. Catch

Catch 在这里是个名词，意思是“诡计；难人的问题； 蹊跷”，例如：

That new car is very cheap; there must be a catch in it somewhere!

那辆新车这么便宜,里面一定有蹊跷!