Chirag: Hey, Gregory, want to sign the card?

 

Greg: You got Rowley a card?

 

Chirag: What? No, it's for Bryan Little. You know, the guy who writes the Wacky Dawg cartoons for the school paper? He has mono and he's going to be out for three months.

 

Greg: That really stinks². So, just out of curiosity, who's gonna do the cartoon?

 

Chirag: They're having tryouts, but the important thing is Bryan gets better.

 

Greg: Absolutely. Bryan Little getting mono was destiny. I draw cartoons all the time. I'm gonna win this. I decided³ to go ahead and forgive Rowley for milking the broken hand so hard and I told him he could work on the cartoon with me.

 

Rowley: So, I was thinking we could do something like this! Oops, I stepped in a puddle⁴! At least it's not an acid puddle. Oy, oy, oy! It is an acid puddle! Zoo-wee Mama! Zoo-wee Mama!

 

Greg: It's the same joke every time.

 

Rowley: Yeah! Zoo-wee Mama!

 

Greg: We can't just do the same thing over and over.

 

Rowley: We can if it's Zoo-wee Mama.

 

Greg: It has to be a little more sophisticated. I wonder what is in this cute little box. It's not a box, it's a brick, you dumb moron⁵. Oops! I've been trying to open it all day!

 

Rowley: Can he say, "Zoo-wee Mama"?

 

Greg: No, it's not funny.

 

Rowley: Well, I think it is. I like Zoo-wee Mama.

 

Greg: You know what? If you like it so much, then why don't you go do it yourself?

 

Rowley: Okay. I will. See you.

 

****************************

 

Greg: Hey, I forgot my raincoat, so I'm gonna need you to walk the kids home today.

 

Rowley: I can't. I can't get my cast wet. You can borrow my coat.

 

*****************************

 

Kid: Where's Rowley?

 

Greg: He couldn't get his cast wet!

 

Kid: He walks us better!

 

Greg: Oh, no. Oh, my gosh! Space monsters! They're going to eat us, unless we can get into that hole! Come on, people, move it! Now, people! We're gonna get eaten! Come on! Don't worry! I'm right behind you!

 

Kid: Whoa!

 

Greg: Go!

 

Mrs. Irvine: Hey! Rowley Jefferson, is that you?

 

Greg: Yes, Mrs. Irvine! Sorry, kids!

 

Kid: Are you going to eat us?

 

Schoolmaster: And though doctors assure us that Mrs. Cheznik is no longer contagious⁶, the cafeteria nachos bar will be closed for the remainder of the week. And now, what you've all been waiting for. The faculty⁷, Student Council and editors have all met and selected the new cartoonist for the school paper. And the winner is "Zoo-wee Mama" by Rowley Jefferson!

 

Greg: What?

 

Schoolmaster: That is funny!

 

Classmate: Great job.

 

Rowley: Zoo-wee Mama.

 

Greg: I couldn't believe it. Am I the only one who gets comedy?

 

Girl 1: Rowley, will you put me in your cartoon?

 

Rowley: Sure.

 

Girl 2: And me, too. I want to be the one who says, "Zoo-wee Mama."

 

Rowley: You got it!

 

Angie: Hey, Rowley, congratulations.

 

Rowley: Thanks.

 

Angie: No problem. You know, I read all the submissions⁸ and yours was by far the best. I read yours, too.

 

Bryce: Hey, Rowley.

 

Rowley: Hey, Bryce.

 

Greg: Yeah, hey, Bryce.

 

Bryce: Hey, fella.

 

Rowley: Wow. Everyone knows me now. It's like I'm famous! Isn't this great?

 

Greg: Yeah.

 

Mr. Winsky: Rowley Jefferson? I need to see you in my office, now. I just took a call from a Mrs. Irvine about what happened to the kindergarteners last week. She was very upset. And so am I.

 

Rowley: What?

 

Mr. Winsky: You violated the sacred trust. This...This badge is supposed to mean something, and you just spat⁹ on it. I can barely even look at you.

 

Rowley: I really don't...

 

Mr. Winsky: Just save it. You are officially suspended from Safety Patrol. And I expect a full apology to the kindergarteners.

 

Rowley: Yes, sir.

 

Greg: Hey. What did he have to say?

 

Rowley: I'm kicked off. I don't even know what he's talking about.

 

Greg: Rowley?

 

Rowley: What?

 

Greg: Nothing.

 

 

1. mono: mononucleosis，腺热；传染性单核细胞增多症。也称为glandular fever。

 

2. stink¹: 让人觉得很糟糕。例如：Your plan stinks.（你的计划差劲透了。）stink还可以表示“有臭味”或“令人厌恶”。例如：He stinks of money.（他浑身铜臭。）

 

3. tryout: 选拔赛。

 

4. milk: 趁机牟利；捞一把；捞好处。看一下例子：Corrupt officials milked the common people dry.（贪官污吏搜刮尽了民脂民膏。）

 

5. puddle: 水洼；小水坑；（尤指）雨水坑。

 

6. moron: 笨蛋；蠢货。

 

7. nachos: 墨西哥玉米片。

 

8. remainder: 其他人员；剩余物；剩余时间。例如：She lived the remainder of life in peace.（她平静地度过了晚年。）

 

9. Am I the only one who gets comedy: 难道我是唯一一个懂幽默的人吗？get在这里的意思是“理解；明白”。

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