Celine: So how long have you been in Paris?

 

Jesse: I got in last night. I've done 10 cities in 2 days. I'm wrecked¹. I'm so glad it's over, you know? I'm tired of being a huckster.

 

Waitress: Hi.

 

Celine: Hello. What do you want?

 

Jesse: A cup of coffee. God, I love this café. I wish they had places like this in the US.

 

Celine: Yeah, I missed cafés when I was living over there. I mean, I find a few places I really liked, but there was...

 

Jesse: You were living in the US?

 

Celine: Yes, from '96 to '99. I was studying at NYU.

 

Jesse: Oh, God, don't tell me that, Celine.

 

Celine: What?

 

Jesse: No, it's just..Nothing, I mean, I...

 

Celine: What?

 

Jesse: I've been living in New York since '98. We were there at the same time.

 

Celine: In New York?

 

Jesse: Yeah.

 

Celine: That's weird². It actually crossed my mind a few times that I might run into you...but the odds³ are so slim, right? So...I didn't even know what city you were in. Weren't you somewhere in Texas?

 

Jesse: Yeah, yeah, definitely. I just...I was for a long time. I just, you know, wanted to try New York. What brought you back here?

 

Celine: I had finished my master's, for one...and no visa, no more visa. And I was starting to get paranoid. All the violence in the medias: Gang violence, murders, especially serial⁴ killers⁶...But the final straw was...one night I heard some noise on my fire escape...so I called 911, and the cops came eventually.

 

Jesse: Like three hours later.

 

Celine: Yeah, after I had been raped⁷ and killed. No, but it was a man and a woman officer. I was explaining what I had heard...when the woman had to go move the police car. I was left alone with the male cop. Right away he asked me if I had a gun, and I said, "No, of course not. " And he told me, "Well, you better think about getting one. This is America, not France. Okay?" And I said to him, "I have no idea how to shoot a gun...and I have no interest in firearms whatsoever⁸. " And that's when he pulled out his gun, like this, and he went: "Well, one day, you're gonna have something like this in your face...and if you wanna have a long life...you're gonna have to choose between you or them. " And then they left. And the next morning I called for an application to get a gun. Me with a gun. I mean, that's really scary. But then I realized something was wrong. The way that cop had pulled his gun out, and everything, right? So I canceled my demand for the gun...and I called the police and tried to complain about that cop.

 

Jesse: What happened with that?

 

Celine: It was so much paperwork...and then I got scared, with my shitty student visa...

 

Jesse: Thought you'd get deported⁹?

 

Celine: Exactly. I gave up...and forgot about the whole thing. Well, I guess I never forgot.

 

Jesse: Obviously.

 

Celine: But still, you know, I really enjoyed being there. There's lots of things I miss in the US.

 

Jesse: Yeah? Like what?

 

Celine: Well...The overall good mood people have there. Like, even if it can be bullshit sometimes. Like, "How you doing?" "Great. " "How you doing?" "Great!" "Have a great day!" I don't know. Parisians can be so grumpy. Have you noticed?

 

Jesse: No, everybody seems pretty happy to me.

 

Celine: They're not happy. No.

 

Jesse: They're not happy?

 

Celine: No, they are. I don't know. I just mean French men. They drive me nuts.

 

Jesse: What is it? What about them?

 

Celine: Well, they're very nice. They're great, you know, to be around. They love food, wine, they're great cooks. But I've had really bad luck with them.

 

Jesse: Why? What do you mean?

 

Celine: Well, I guess they're not as...

 

Jesse: What?

 

Celine: What's the word? Horny? They're not as horny.

 

Jesse: Horny? Wait, listen to me on this one. In that regard, I am proud to be an American.

 

Celine: And you should be. In that regard only.

 

 

1. huckster: 大声叫卖的小贩；大吹大擂的推销商

 

2. the odds: 可能性，机会

 

3. paranoid: 偏执狂；妄想症患者

 

4. serial killer⁵: 连环杀手

 

5. final straw: 最后一根稻草

 

6. fire escape: 防火梯；安全出口

 

7. paperwork: 文书工作；纸上作业

 

8. deport:  遣送出境

 

9. drive me nuts: 相当于drive me mad，意思是：他们快把我逼疯了。

 

10. horny: 〈美俚〉好色的，猥亵的

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