The cat's chalkboard assignments
文章来源: 文章作者: 发布时间:2007-02-06 02:33 字体: [ ]  进入论坛
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In order to punish your cat for poor behavior, here are a list of items that the cat may write on a chalkboard. A. Fill in the blanks

1. [xxx] is not food.
Dental floss, plants, Kleenex, toilet paper, human's homework, photographs, shoes, sweaters, socks, the couch, electrical cords/devices, phone cord, vases of flowers, my poop, electric wiring, the rubber fish toy my human drags around for me to play with; rubber bands; Mom's toe; the HUGE fly; used Q-tips; the other cat's vomited1 food.

2. I will not jump on the [xxx].
kitchen counter, table, stove, barbecue, my human's full bladder at 5:30 A.M., bed at night, TV, bed from the top of the wardrobe at night.

3. I will not sharpen my claws on the [xxx].
sofa, carpet, drapes, my human's leg, my human's boss's leg, the new speakers, wallpaper, window screen, car tires.

4. I will not pee/poop/barf a hairball on the [xxx].
floor, carpet, sofa, clean laundry, sleeping human, human's tax return, the tax auditor2, TV, baby's mattress3, kitchen counter, dining room table, big people's shoes, bathtub, my Dad's collection of (expensive) Nazi4 daggers5, marble floor (acid vomit+marble=etched marble).

5. I will not climb the [xxx].
Screen, bulletin board, speaker, curtains, redwood trees, walls, lampposts.

6. I will not dunk [xxx] into my water dish.
Tissues, my toy mouse, the house plants, half-digested food

7. I will not hide [xxx].
Pens, curlers, or house keys under the carpet.

8. I recognize that the [xxx] has a right to exist.
Belt, fringe on the bathroom rug, fuzzy toilet seat, house plant, human's toes, baby, human, blue jays outside, teddy bear

9. [xxx] is not cat food.
Chocolate, bananas, pizza, any human food, tea

10. [xxx] is not a bed.
The stove, the pot (not hot) on the stove, sink, the crystal bowl from the people's wedding, piano strings6, Mommy's sock drawer, the inside of the antique radio, the car, the electric organ, the computer keyboard.

11. [xxx] is not prey/a toy.
The paper coming from the printer; the newspaper; Mummy; open milk cartons; toilet paper; pantyhose; paper clips; human's toes; my human's penis (see "Robin7 Williams, Live at the Met"); Christmas tree ornaments8; the produce ripening9 on the kitchen counter; Q-tips; Black Widow spiders; any food, whether wrapped in something or not; the sheets; the computer mouse; Mommy's snow white lace garter from her wedding with the beautiful tasty maribou feathers on it;

12. I will not try to climb into the [xxx].
Freezer, refrigerator, washing machine, dryer10, dishwasher, garage.



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1 vomited 23632f2de1c0dc958c22b917c3cdd795     
参考例句:
  • Corbett leaned against the wall and promptly vomited. 科比特倚在墙边,马上呕吐了起来。
  • She leant forward and vomited copiously on the floor. 她向前一俯,哇的一声吐了一地。 来自英汉文学
2 auditor My5ziV     
n.审计员,旁听着
参考例句:
  • The auditor was required to produce his working papers.那个审计员被要求提供其工作底稿。
  • The auditor examines the accounts of all county officers and departments.审计员查对所有县官员及各部门的帐目。
3 mattress Z7wzi     
n.床垫,床褥
参考例句:
  • The straw mattress needs to be aired.草垫子该晾一晾了。
  • The new mattress I bought sags in the middle.我买的新床垫中间陷了下去。
4 Nazi BjXyF     
n.纳粹分子,adj.纳粹党的,纳粹的
参考例句:
  • They declare the Nazi regime overthrown and sue for peace.他们宣布纳粹政权已被推翻,并出面求和。
  • Nazi closes those war criminals inside their concentration camp.纳粹把那些战犯关在他们的集中营里。
5 daggers a5734a458d7921e71a33be8691b93cb0     
匕首,短剑( dagger的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • I will speak daggers to her, but use none. 我要用利剑一样的话刺痛她的心,但绝不是真用利剑。
  • The world lives at daggers drawn in a cold war. 世界在冷战中剑拨弩张。
6 strings nh0zBe     
n.弦
参考例句:
  • He sat on the bed,idly plucking the strings of his guitar.他坐在床上,随意地拨着吉他的弦。
  • She swept her fingers over the strings of the harp.她用手指划过竖琴的琴弦。
7 robin Oj7zme     
n.知更鸟,红襟鸟
参考例句:
  • The robin is the messenger of spring.知更鸟是报春的使者。
  • We knew spring was coming as we had seen a robin.我们看见了一只知更鸟,知道春天要到了。
8 ornaments 2bf24c2bab75a8ff45e650a1e4388dec     
n.装饰( ornament的名词复数 );点缀;装饰品;首饰v.装饰,点缀,美化( ornament的第三人称单数 )
参考例句:
  • The shelves were chock-a-block with ornaments. 架子上堆满了装饰品。
  • Playing the piano sets up resonance in those glass ornaments. 一弹钢琴那些玻璃饰物就会产生共振。 来自《简明英汉词典》
9 ripening 5dd8bc8ecf0afaf8c375591e7d121c56     
v.成熟,使熟( ripen的现在分词 );熟化;熟成
参考例句:
  • The corn is blossoming [ripening]. 玉米正在开花[成熟]。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • When the summer crop is ripening, the autumn crop has to be sowed. 夏季作物成熟时,就得播种秋季作物。 来自《简明英汉词典》
10 dryer PrYxf     
n.干衣机,干燥剂
参考例句:
  • He bought a dryer yesterday.他昨天买了一台干燥机。
  • There is a washer and a dryer in the basement.地下室里有洗衣机和烘干机。
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