It's a little known fact that Julius Caesar did not die from stab wounds by Brutus, but, rather, was poisoned. During a sumptuous¹ banquet which they both attended on that fateful Ides of March, Brutus slipped some poisonous hemlock² leaves onto Julius' salad. (Thus making the world's first Caesar's salad - no, that's not the joke, wait for it....)

 

When Julius slumped³ over into his salad, Brutus feigned⁴ concern and asked, "My dear friend Julius, how many hemlock leaves have you eaten?" To which Julius gasped⁵ in reply:

 

"Ate two, Brute⁶."

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