Four people were bragging¹ about how smart their cats are.

The first was an Engineer, the second an Accountant, the third was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Worker.

To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced² over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly³ drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart, but the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."

Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.

Everyone agreed that was good, but the Chemist said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was good. Then the three men turned to the government Worker and said,"What can your cat do?".

The Government Worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff."

Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, pooped on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance⁴ report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

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