Why shouldn't you take an elephant to the zoo?
Because he'd rather go to the movies!

What's blue and has big ears?
An elephant at the North Pole!

What's grey and lights up?
An electric elephant!

What's big and grey and protects you from the rain?
An umbrellaphant!

What do you do with a green elephant?
Wait till it ripens¹!

What is the difference between an elephant and a flea²?
An elephant can have fleas³ but a flea can't have elephants!

A boy with an elephant on his head went to see a doctor. The doctor said, "You know you really need help"
"Yes I do", said the elephant, "get this kid off my foot!"

What happened to the elephant who ran away with the circus?
The police made him bring it back!

Why are elephants wiser than chickens?
Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant?!

What do you call an elephant that can't do sums?
Dumbo!