英文版情感幽默_双语笑话

英文版情感幽默

文章来源：文章作者：发布时间：2007-03-06 02:13 字体： [大中小]　进入论坛

(单词翻译:双击或拖选)

JOKE 1
Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.

Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily.

JOKE 2
A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?

The father replied: I don 't know son. I'm still paying!!

JOKE 3
At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home...

He asks him: what are you doing?

The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly¹ marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!!!

Father said: Wait!!!!!!!! I am coming with you.

JOKE 4
A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session². Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?

The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!!

The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip?

The wife: Very good, thank you.

The husband: And, what happened to my present?

The wife: Which present?

The husband: What I asked for: the English girl?

The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it's a girl!!!

JOKE 5
A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked³ woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for? " The husband replies, "autumn."

JOKE 6
A couple drove⁴ several miles down a country road with intense⁵ silence. Not a word was said to each other. An earlier discussion⁶ had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede⁷ his position. As they passed a barnyard of mules(骡子) and pigs, the wife sarcastically⁸ asked, "Relatives of yours? " "Yep, " the husband replied, "inlaws ".

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收听单词发音

1 newly
adv.新近，最近；重新，再度；以新的方式
参考例句：
Have you reviewed for this newly published novel?你给这本新出版的小说写书评了吗？ It is a newly planted tree and it has not established yet.这是一颗新栽的树，还没有扎下根来。

2 session
n.会议，开庭期，市盘，学期；adj.短期的
参考例句：
This matter will go over until the next session.这件事将留待下次会议讨论。 Congress is now in session.国会现在正在开会。

3 naked
adj.裸露的；赤裸裸的，无遮蔽的
参考例句：
To the east of our school,there's a naked hillside.我们学校东边有片光秃秃的山坡。 The children stripped off their clothes and swam naked in the river.孩子们脱得光溜溜的在河里游泳。

4 drove
vbl.驾驶，drive的过去式；n.畜群
参考例句：
He drove at a speed of sixty miles per hour.他以每小时60英里的速度开车。 They drove foreign goods out of the market.他们把外国货驱逐出市场。

5 intense
adj.认真的，专注的；强烈的；紧张的；热情的
参考例句：
Susan was an intense young lady.苏珊是一个热情的年轻姑娘。 The quarrel caused her intense unhappiness.争吵令她极其不快。

6 discussion
n.讨论，谈论；论述
参考例句：
It is certain he will come to the discussion.他肯定会来参加讨论。 After months of discussion,a peace agreement is gradually taking shape.经过几个月的商讨，和平协议渐渐有了眉目。

7 concede
vt.承认，容许，（比赛结束前）认输，退让
参考例句：
I concede that you are right.我承认你是对的。 He will not concede what anything ails his business.他不允许任何事情来干扰他的工作。

8 sarcastically
adv.挖苦地，讽刺地
参考例句：
'What a surprise!' Caroline murmured sarcastically.“太神奇了!”卡罗琳轻声挖苦道。 Pierce mocked her and bowed sarcastically. 皮尔斯嘲笑她，讽刺地鞠了一躬。