I run a team of 20 in a successful property company. All my team members are good players though one irritates me wildly. He has a whiny¹ voice; there is something about the way he sits at his desk; and he answers questions obliquely². His work is first-class but I am unfair and snappy with him. I have tried to overcome what must, in all honesty, simply be personal dislike, but it is damaging the way we do things. Should I get rid of him, even though he's doing a great job?

地产高管，男，49岁

Property executive, male, 49

露西的回答

LUCY'S ANSWER

你不用为自己不喜欢这个人而感到内疚，相反，你应该庆祝自己的坦诚。当发现自己手下有个自己无法容忍的下属时，大多数经理人会使出一些更阴险的手段。他们会贬低那个人的技能（可能是下意识的），并将失败归咎到他头上。然后，他们会不加考虑，就把他解雇。你并没这么做；而且，你意识到了他的才华，并且还在试图消除自己的反感情绪。

Instead of feeling guilt³ about not liking⁴ this man, you should be congratulating yourself on your honesty. Most managers who find themselves in charge of someone they can't stand engage in something more underhand. They belittle⁵ the person's skills (possibly subconsciously) and set them up to fail. Then they fire them without a second thought. You aren't doing that; indeed you recognise his talents and are trying to cure your aversion.

对于你没能成功做到这一点，我并不感到惊讶--你的这种恼怒是一种强有力的化学物质，再多的自我鞭策、再多教练的陈词滥调都不会奏效。如果在婚姻中出现这种怒气，那就没什么希望了。

I'm not surprised you haven't succeeded - irritation⁶ such as yours is a potent⁷, chemical thing, and no amount of whipping oneself with birch sticks or platitudes⁸ from coaches is going to help. In a marriage when such irritation takes hold, there is no hope left.

你想知道，因为烦人而解雇一个人是否在道德上说得过去。如果其他所有人也发现他令人生气，那么答案就是肯定的。但即便是只有你被激怒了，仍可以解雇他。

You want to know if it is morally OK to fire someone for being annoying. If everyone else also finds him maddening, the answer is Yes. But even if it is only you who is enraged⁹, a case can still be made for getting rid of him.

在任何白领工作中，情商都是一个重要部分，因此，拥有一种情商，不让上司陷入一种无助的愤怒状态，是非常基本的要求。你的员工没能掌握这种最基本的要领，因此他应该被记上一账。 Emotional intelligence is a big part of doing any white collar job and, so, having the emotional wit not to wind up one's boss into a helpless state of irritation is pretty fundamental. Your employee can't master this most basic of things and so his card should be marked.

你的难题在于，解雇他是不合法的。发出嘀嘀咕咕的声音可能令人抓狂，但这不是什么大错。这意味着你必须容忍他。如果你在一家国际银行工作，就要容易些：你可以派他去哈萨克斯坦成立一家办事处。 The difficulty for you is that firing him isn't legal. Talking in a whiny voice may be dementing but it is not gross misconduct. That means you are going to have to put up with him. If you worked in a global bank, it would be easy: you could send him off to set up an office in Kazakhstan.

假设你的公司没有这种扩张计划，那么答案就用墙和门来隔音。给他安排一个离你远点儿的座位，既能让他勤奋工作，又能让你觉得自己在表彰他的努力--而且还听不到他嘀咕的声音。

Assuming your company has no such expansion plans, the answer is in walls and doors. Make him sit somewhere distant where he can work diligently¹⁰ and where you can feel grateful for his efforts - without hearing the sound of his voice.

读者的建议

YOUR ADVICE

解雇你自己吧

Sack yourself

想象一下，一个思维活跃、工作一流的团队成员，还有一位承认自己对他有偏见并希望摆脱他的经理人。有一个人滚蛋的时间到了？可能吧，但不应该是那个"嘀咕先生"。

Picture a team member who has good ideas and does first-class work, and a manager who admits to treating him unfairly and wants to be rid of him. Time for a head to roll? Probably, but it shouldn't be Mr Whiny's.

律师，男，50岁

Lawyer, male, 50

杀毒

De-tox

赶他走。他是你们工作环境中的毒素，而且他的继续出现将使人没法再呆下去。他那些气人的方式可能是在伪装深层次的心理问题。身为上司，为数不多的宝贵乐趣之一，就是有权选择自己的下属。就这么做，别再抱怨了。

Get rid of him. He is a toxin¹¹ that has been introduced to your work environment and his continued presence will make it uninhabitable. His irritating ways are likely to mask deep psychological problems. One of the few precious joys of being boss is the ability to choose your subordinates. Get on with it and stop moaning.

董事，男，50多岁

Director, male, 50s

继续工作

Work on it

我也与一个我无法忍受的人共事，但我努力尝试克服自己对他的厌恶。这已经奏效了，而且我也更加快乐--尽管愤怒还在。这是你的缺点，不是他的。如果有人因为不喜欢你的长相或声音而解雇你，你会怎么想？
I also work with someone I can't stand but have tried hard to overcome my dislike. It has worked and I am happier - though irritations¹² remain. This is about your shortcomings, not his. How would you like the sack because someone didn't like the way you looked or sounded?


秘书，女

Secretary, female

派他外出

Off-site

你雇了他，因此你必须容忍他的嘀咕声，但应该运用巧妙的语言艺术教育他。你还可以派他实地拜访你公司在200英里外的房产，那里的租户正对服务收费不停抱怨呢。

You hired him, so you must put up with his whiny voice but should coach him in the art of the snappy answer. You could also send him on a site visit to your properties 200 miles away, where tenants¹³ are being whiny about their service charge.

律师，男，48岁

Solicitor¹⁴, male, 48

甩掉他

Dump him

我管理着一个小团队，并且我敢保证，你没有富余精力"承载"潜在刺激。甩掉他。

I run a small team and can assure you that you don't have the luxury of "carrying" potential irritants. Dump him.

对冲基金经理，男，48岁

Hedge fund male, 48

同性恋恐惧症

Homophobe

我猜他是个同性恋，而你有同性恋恐惧症。嘀咕的声音？他的坐姿？求你了。考虑考虑自己去接受一下咨询吧。

My guess is that he is gay and you are a homophobe. Whiny voice? Something about the way he sits? Please. Consider counselling for yourself.

匿名

Anon