汇丰商务英语写作教程(24)
文章来源: 文章作者: 发布时间:2008-10-14 05:38 字体: [ ]  进入论坛
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在前两节中,我们学习了How To Be PoliteHow To Be Positive,今天我们来学习How To Be Personal,这会让你的商务信函看起来更有亲和力,更容易被人接受。

 

Being Courteous1: How To Be Personal 

 

You have learned how to write polite and positive sentences. However, a third "P" - be personal - is also important.

Read the letter below. Does it seem personal to you?

 

If you were Rachel Harrison, the customer who received this letter, how would you feel?

 

12 May 200X

Ms Rachel Harrison

34 Smythe Court

Westfield

 

Dear Madam

 

Reference is made to your letter of 1 May regarding the status of the application for a Privilege Card.

 

The Bank has checked the relevant records. The application was received, but the cheque was not enclosed.

 

Be advised that the cheque must be received before the Privilege Card can be sent.

 

Yours faithfully

 

S Martin

Personal Relationship Manager

 

Good customer relations...

...need a personal touch.

 

But how can your writing have a personal touch?

 

Look at the letter again. Think about how you could rewrite some of the sentences to make them more personal.

 

You can do at least three things to make this letter more personal.

 

USE PERSONAL PRONOUNS

 

The letter has only one personal pronoun.

 

However, when you speak to people, you often use words like "you", "I" and "we". If you also use these personal pronouns when you write, your sentences will sound more personal.

 

Look at the sentence below. How can you make it more personal?

 

"The Bank appreciates a prompt reply."

 

Remember, "the Bank" is made up of people, and you want a reply from a person:

 

"We would appreciate it if you could reply promptly2."

 

In addition to using personal pronouns, you can use a person's name when writing.

 

USE PEOPLE'S NAMES 

 

Do you remember the impersonal3 letter to Rachel Harrison? In that letter, the writer didn't use the customer's name... except in the address.

 

When you speak with customers, you usually use their names. So, if you use a customer's name when writing, your letter will sound more personal.

 

If you were writing a letter to John Carter, how would you begin?

 

You wouldn't write "Dear Sir", would you? You would write "Dear Mr Carter" or even "Dear John", if you knew him well.

 

Everyone likes to hear or read their own name. So, sometimes, you can even use a person's name in the body of the letter.

 

For example, you could write

 

"May I suggest, John, that you..."

"John, since you are a valued customer, I would like to..."

 

However, you probably would not use a person's name more than once in the letter.

 

You will write more personal memos4, letters and e-mails if you use personal pronouns and personal names. You should also use the active voice of the verb.

 

USE ACTIVE VOICE OF THE VERB 

 

When you use the active voice of the verb, you emphasise5 the person doing the action (the "doer").

 

Using the passive voice emphasises the action and often does not mention the "doer". So, it sounds impersonal.

 

Look at the sentence below. How can you change this sentence to make it sound more personal?

 

"Please be assured that the application will be processed quickly."

 

Suggested revision:

 

"We assure you that we will process your application quickly."

 

If you'd like to review how to use the active and passive voice of the verb, go to Chapter 5.

 

You can practise writing personal sentences in the exercise below.

 

The following sentences are quite impersonal. Revise the sentences to make them more personal.

 

The Bank acknowledges receipt of the letter dated 10 May.

 

The Premier6 card can be used worldwide.

 

The proposal you made is acceptable to us.

 

Suggested revisions:

 

We received your letter of 10 May. / Thank you for your letter of 10 May.

 

You can use your Premier card worldwide.

 

We accept your proposal.

 

下一次我们将讲述四个P中的最后一个——How To Be Professional,敬请关注。

 

来源:中国物流论坛



点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 courteous tooz2     
adj.彬彬有礼的,客气的
参考例句:
  • Although she often disagreed with me,she was always courteous.尽管她常常和我意见不一,但她总是很谦恭有礼。
  • He was a kind and courteous man.他为人友善,而且彬彬有礼。
2 promptly LRMxm     
adv.及时地,敏捷地
参考例句:
  • He paid the money back promptly.他立即还了钱。
  • She promptly seized the opportunity his absence gave her.她立即抓住了因他不在场给她创造的机会。
3 impersonal Ck6yp     
adj.无个人感情的,与个人无关的,非人称的
参考例句:
  • Even his children found him strangely distant and impersonal.他的孩子们也认为他跟其他人很疏远,没有人情味。
  • His manner seemed rather stiff and impersonal.他的态度似乎很生硬冷淡。
4 memos 45cf27e47ed5150a0561ca46ec309d4e     
n.备忘录( memo的名词复数 );(美)内部通知
参考例句:
  • Big shots get their dander up and memos start flying. 大人物们怒火中烧,备忘录四下乱飞。 来自辞典例句
  • There was a pile of mail, memos and telephone messages on his desk. 他的办公桌上堆满着信件、备忘录和电话通知。 来自辞典例句
5 emphasise emphasise     
vt.加强...的语气,强调,着重
参考例句:
  • What special feature do you think I should emphasise? 你认为我该强调什么呢?
  • The exercises heavily emphasise the required readings.练习非常强调必须的阅读。
6 premier R19z3     
adj.首要的;n.总理,首相
参考例句:
  • The Irish Premier is paying an official visit to Britain.爱尔兰总理正在对英国进行正式访问。
  • He requested that the premier grant him an internview.他要求那位总理接见他一次。
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