Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing. （Duane Dewel）

任何已婚男人都应该忘记自己犯下的错误——没必要两个人都记得同一件事情吧。

 

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. （Joanne Woodward）

性感不久就会逐渐消失，美色也会随之枯谢，但嫁给一个能让你每天开怀大笑的男人，啊，这才真正是令人满意的结果。

 

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking¹. It's called marriage. （James Holt McGavran）

有一种比电子银行还要快的转帐方式。它叫做婚姻。

 

By all means marry, if you get a good wife, you'll be happy, if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. （Socrates）

不管怎么说还是结婚吧，娶到好老婆，你会幸福；娶到坏女人，你将会成为哲学家。

 

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.（Patrick Murray）

我在两个老婆身上的运气都很差。前面的那个扔下了我。现在的这个我扔不掉。

 

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.（Milton Berle）

一个好妻子总会在她错了的时候原谅她的丈夫。

 

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.（Socrates）

婚姻是这样一所学校：男人会失去学士学位/单身汉的地位，而女人会获得硕士学位/征服者的地位。

 

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. （Henry Youngman）

晚上你回到家里，有一个女人会给你一眼爱情，一手温情，一怀柔情。你知道这意味着什么吗？这意味着你走错房子了，就是这个意思。

 

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. （Nash）

保持婚姻幸福的两大秘密是： 1. 一旦错了，立刻承认；2. 一旦对了，立刻闭嘴。

 

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.（Anonymous²）

婚姻是唯一的和敌人同床共眠的战争。

 

Marriage is Love, Love is blind, therefore, Marriage is an institution for the Blind （Anonymous）

婚姻是因为爱情，爱情是盲目的。所以，婚姻是为瞎子所设的会所。

 

First Guy （proudly）: "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." （Anonymous）

一个男人骄傲地说：”我老婆是天使“。另一个男人羡慕地说：“你真走运，我的那个还活着。”

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