A Few Laughs
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REMARKS BY THE PRESIDENT
AT WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS' ASSOCIATION DINNER

May 9, 2009

Washington Hilton
Washington, D.C.

9:56 P.M. EDT

THE PRESIDENT:  Thank you.  Thank you, everybody.  Good evening.  You know, I had an entire speech prepared for this wonderful occasion, but now that I'm here I think I'm going to try something a little different.  Tonight I want to speak from the heart.  I'm going to speak off the cuff1.  (Teleprompters rise.)  (Laughter and applause.)

Good evening.  (Laughter.)  Pause for laughter.  (Laughter.)  Wait a minute, this may not be working as well as I -- (laughter.)  Let me try that again.

Good evening, everybody.  (Applause.)  I would like to welcome you all to the 10-day anniversary of my first 100 days.  (Laughter.)  I am Barack Obama.  Most of you covered me.  All of you voted for me.  (Laughter and applause.)  Apologies to the Fox table.  (Laughter.)  They're -- where are they?  I have to confess I really did not want to be here tonight, but I knew I had to come -- just one more problem that I've inherited from George W. Bush.  (Laughter.)

But now that I'm here, it's great to be here.  It's great to see all of you.  Michelle Obama is here, the First Lady of the United States.  (Applause.)  Hasn't she been an outstanding First Lady?  (Applause.)  She's even begun to bridge the differences that have divided us for so long, because no matter which party you belong to we can all agree that Michelle has the right to bare arms.  (Laughter and applause.)

Now Sasha and Malia aren't here tonight because they're grounded.  You can't just take Air Force One on a joy ride to Manhattan.  (Laughter.)  I don't care whose kids you are.  (Laughter.)  We've been setting some ground rules here.  They're starting to get a little carried away.

Now, speaking -- when I think about children obviously I think about Michelle and it reminds me that tomorrow is Mother's Day.  Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers in the audience.  (Applause.)  I do have to say, though, that this is a tough holiday for Rahm Emanuel because he's not used to saying the word "day" after "mother."  (Laughter.)  That's true.  (Laughter.)

David Axelrod is here.  You know, David and I have been together for a long time.  I can still remember -- I got to sort of -- I tear up a little bit when I think back to that day that I called Ax so many years ago and said, you and I can do wonderful things together.  And he said to me the same thing that partners all across America are saying to one another right now:  Let's go to Iowa and make it official.  (Laughter and applause.)

Michael Steele is in the house tonight.  (Applause.)  Or as he would say, "in the heezy."  (Laughter.)  What's up?  (Laughter.)  Where is Michael?  Michael, for the last time, the Republican Party does not qualify for a bailout.  (Laughter.)  Rush Limbaugh does not count as a troubled asset, I'm sorry.  (Laughter.)

Dick Cheney was supposed to be here but he is very busy working on his memoirs2, tentatively titled, "How to Shoot Friends and Interrogate3 People."  (Laughter.)

You know, it's been a whirlwind of activity these first hundred days.  We've enacted4 a major economic recovery package, we passed a budget, we forged a new path in Iraq, and no President in history has ever named three Commerce Secretaries this quickly.  (Laughter.)  Which reminds me, if Judd Gregg is here, your business cards are ready now.  (Laughter.)

On top of that, I've also reversed the ban on stem cell research, signed an expansion -- (applause) -- signed an expansion of the children's health insurance.  Just last week, Car and Driver named me auto5 executive of the year.  (Laughter.)  Something I'm very proud of.

We've also begun to change the culture in Washington.  We've even made the White House a place where people can learn and can grow.  Just recently, Larry Summers asked if he could chair the White House Council on Women and Girls.  (Laughter.)  And I do appreciate that Larry is here tonight because it is seven hours past his bedtime.  (Laughter.)  Gibbs liked that one.  (Laughter.)

In the last hundred days, we've also grown the Democratic Party by infusing it with new energy and bringing in fresh, young faces like Arlen Specter.  (Laughter.)  Now, Joe Biden rightly deserves a lot of credit for convincing Arlen to make the switch, but Secretary Clinton actually had a lot to do with it too.  One day she just pulled him aside and she said, Arlen, you know what I always say -- "if you can't beat them, join them."  (Laughter.)

Which brings me to another thing that's changed in this new, warmer, fuzzier White House, and that's my relationship with Hillary.  You know, we had been rivals during the campaign, but these days we could not be closer.  In fact, the second she got back from Mexico she pulled into a hug and gave me a big kiss.  (Laughter.) Told me I'd better get down there myself.  (Laughter.)  Which I really appreciated.  I mean, it was -- it was nice.  (Laughter.)

And of course we've also begun to change America's image in the world.  We talked about this during this campaign and we're starting to execute.  We've renewed alliances with important partners and friends.  If you look on the screen there, there I am with Japanese Prime Minister Taro7 Aso.  There I am with Gordon Brown.

But as I said during the campaign, we can't just talk to our friends.  As hard as it is, we also have to talk to our enemies, and I've begun to do exactly that.  Take a look at the monitor there.  (Laughter.)  Now, let me be clear, just because he handed me a copy of Peter Pan does not mean that I'm going to read it -- (laughter) -- but it's good diplomatic practice to just accept these gifts.

All this change hasn't been easy.  Change never is.  So I've cut the tension by bringing a new friend to the White House.  He's warm, he's cuddly8, loyal, enthusiastic.  You just have to keep him on a tight leash9.  Every once in a while he goes charging off in the wrong direction and gets himself into trouble.  But enough about Joe Biden.  (Laughter.)

All in all, we're proud of the change we've brought to Washington in these first hundred days but we've got a lot of work left to do, as all of you know.  So I'd like to talk a little bit about what my administration plans to achieve in the next hundred days.

During the second hundred days, we will design, build and open a library dedicated10 to my first hundred days.  (Laughter.)  It's going to be big, folks.  (Laughter.)  In the next hundred days, I will learn to go off the prompter and Joe Biden will learn to stay on the prompter.  (Laughter.)

In the next hundred days, our bipartisan outreach will be so successful that even John Boehner will consider becoming a Democrat6.  After all, we have a lot in common.  He is a person of color.  (Laughter.)  Although not a color that appears in the natural world.  (Laughter.)  What's up, John?  (Laughter.)

In the next hundred days, I will meet with a leader who rules over millions with an iron fist, who owns the airwaves and uses his power to crush all who would challenge his authority at the ballot11 box.  It's good to see you, Mayor Bloomberg.  (Laughter.)

In the next hundred days, we will housetrain our dog, Bo, because the last thing Tim Geithner needs is someone else treating him like a fire hydrant.  (Laughter.)  In the next hundred days, I will strongly consider losing my cool.  (Laughter.)

Finally, I believe that my next hundred days will be so successful I will be able to complete them in 72 days.  (Laughter.)  And on the 73rd day, I will rest.  (Laughter.)

I just -- I want to end by saying a few words about the men and women in this room whose job it is to inform the public and pursue the truth.  You know, we meet tonight at a moment of extraordinary challenge for this nation and for the world, but it's also a time of real hardship for the field of journalism12.  And like so many other businesses in this global age, you've seen sweeping13 changes and technology and communications that lead to a sense of uncertainty14 and anxiety about what the future will hold.

Across the country, there are extraordinary, hardworking journalists who have lost their jobs in recent days, recent weeks, recent months.  And I know that each newspaper and media outlet15 is wrestling with how to respond to these changes, and some are struggling simply to stay open.  And it won't be easy.  Not every ending will be a happy one.

But it's also true that your ultimate success as an industry is essential to the success of our democracy.  It's what makes this thing work.  You know, Thomas Jefferson once said that if he had the choice between a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, he would not hesitate to choose the latter.

Clearly, Thomas Jefferson never had cable news to contend with -- (laughter) -- but his central point remains:  A government without newspapers, a government without a tough and vibrant16 media of all sorts, is not an option for the United States of America.  (Applause.)

So I may not -- I may not agree with everything you write or report.  I may even complain, or more likely Gibbs will complain,  from time to time about how you do your jobs, but I do so with the knowledge that when you are at your best, then you help me be at my best.  You help all of us who serve at the pleasure of the American people do our jobs better by holding us accountable, by demanding honesty, by preventing us from taking shortcuts17 and falling into easy political games that people are so desperately18 weary of.

And that kind of reporting is worth preserving -- not just for your sake, but for the public's.  We count on you to help us make sense of a complex world and tell the stories of our lives the way they happen, and we look for you for truth, even if it's always an approximation, even if -- (laughter.)

This is a season of renewal19 and reinvention.  That is what government must learn to do, that's what businesses must learn to do, and that's what journalism is in the process of doing.  And when I look out at this room and think about the dedicated men and women whose questions I've answered over the last few years, I know that for all the challenges this industry faces, it's not short on talent or creativity or passion or commitment.  It's not short of young people who are eager to break news or the not-so-young who still manage to ask the tough ones time and time again.  These qualities alone will not solve all your problems, but they certainly prove that the problems are worth solving.  And that is a good place as any to begin.

So I offer you my thanks, I offer you my support, and I look forward to working with you and answering to you and the American people as we seek a more perfect union in the months and years ahead.

Thank you very much, everybody.  Thank you.  (Applause.)

END               
10:12 P.M. EDT



点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 cuff 4YUzL     
n.袖口;手铐;护腕;vt.用手铐铐;上袖口
参考例句:
  • She hoped they wouldn't cuff her hands behind her back.她希望他们不要把她反铐起来。
  • Would you please draw together the snag in my cuff?请你把我袖口上的裂口缝上好吗?
2 memoirs f752e432fe1fefb99ab15f6983cd506c     
n.回忆录;回忆录传( mem,自oir的名词复数)
参考例句:
  • Her memoirs were ghostwritten. 她的回忆录是由别人代写的。
  • I watched a trailer for the screenplay of his memoirs. 我看过以他的回忆录改编成电影的预告片。 来自《简明英汉词典》
3 interrogate Tb7zV     
vt.讯问,审问,盘问
参考例句:
  • The lawyer took a long time to interrogate the witness fully.律师花了很长时间仔细询问目击者。
  • We will interrogate the two suspects separately.我们要对这两个嫌疑人单独进行审讯。
4 enacted b0a10ad8fca50ba4217bccb35bc0f2a1     
制定(法律),通过(法案)( enact的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • legislation enacted by parliament 由议会通过的法律
  • Outside in the little lobby another scene was begin enacted. 外面的小休息室里又是另一番景象。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
5 auto ZOnyW     
n.(=automobile)(口语)汽车
参考例句:
  • Don't park your auto here.别把你的汽车停在这儿。
  • The auto industry has brought many people to Detroit.汽车工业把许多人吸引到了底特律。
6 democrat Xmkzf     
n.民主主义者,民主人士;民主党党员
参考例句:
  • The Democrat and the Public criticized each other.民主党人和共和党人互相攻击。
  • About two years later,he was defeated by Democrat Jimmy Carter.大约两年后,他被民主党人杰米卡特击败。
7 taro TgVzm3     
n.芋,芋头
参考例句:
  • Main grain crop has taro,corn,banana to wait.主要粮食作物有芋头、玉米、芭蕉等。
  • You celebrate your birthday with taro,red bean and butter.用红豆、芋头和黄油给自己过生日。
8 cuddly ov7zGZ     
adj.抱着很舒服的,可爱的
参考例句:
  • The beautiful crib from Mom and Dad is so cuddly.爸爸妈妈送的漂亮婴儿床真舒服。
  • You can't call a hedgehog cuddly.你不能说刺猬逗人喜爱。
9 leash M9rz1     
n.牵狗的皮带,束缚;v.用皮带系住
参考例句:
  • I reached for the leash,but the dog got in between.我伸手去拿系狗绳,但被狗挡住了路。
  • The dog strains at the leash,eager to be off.狗拼命地扯拉皮带,想挣脱开去。
10 dedicated duHzy2     
adj.一心一意的;献身的;热诚的
参考例句:
  • He dedicated his life to the cause of education.他献身于教育事业。
  • His whole energies are dedicated to improve the design.他的全部精力都放在改进这项设计上了。
11 ballot jujzB     
n.(不记名)投票,投票总数,投票权;vi.投票
参考例句:
  • The members have demanded a ballot.会员们要求投票表决。
  • The union said they will ballot members on whether to strike.工会称他们将要求会员投票表决是否罢工。
12 journalism kpZzu8     
n.新闻工作,报业
参考例句:
  • He's a teacher but he does some journalism on the side.他是教师,可还兼职做一些新闻工作。
  • He had an aptitude for journalism.他有从事新闻工作的才能。
13 sweeping ihCzZ4     
adj.范围广大的,一扫无遗的
参考例句:
  • The citizens voted for sweeping reforms.公民投票支持全面的改革。
  • Can you hear the wind sweeping through the branches?你能听到风掠过树枝的声音吗?
14 uncertainty NlFwK     
n.易变,靠不住,不确知,不确定的事物
参考例句:
  • Her comments will add to the uncertainty of the situation.她的批评将会使局势更加不稳定。
  • After six weeks of uncertainty,the strain was beginning to take its toll.6个星期的忐忑不安后,压力开始产生影响了。
15 outlet ZJFxG     
n.出口/路;销路;批发商店;通风口;发泄
参考例句:
  • The outlet of a water pipe was blocked.水管的出水口堵住了。
  • Running is a good outlet for his energy.跑步是他发泄过剩精力的好方法。
16 vibrant CL5zc     
adj.震颤的,响亮的,充满活力的,精力充沛的,(色彩)鲜明的
参考例句:
  • He always uses vibrant colours in his paintings. 他在画中总是使用鲜明的色彩。
  • She gave a vibrant performance in the leading role in the school play.她在学校表演中生气盎然地扮演了主角。
17 shortcuts ebf87251d092a6de9c12cc3e85c1707a     
n.捷径( shortcut的名词复数 );近路;快捷办法;被切短的东西(尤指烟草)
参考例句:
  • In other words, experts want shortcuts to everything. 换句话说,专家需要所有的快捷方式。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓
  • Offer shortcuts from the Help menu. 在帮助菜单中提供快捷方式。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓
18 desperately cu7znp     
adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地
参考例句:
  • He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
  • He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。
19 renewal UtZyW     
adj.(契约)延期,续订,更新,复活,重来
参考例句:
  • Her contract is coming up for renewal in the autumn.她的合同秋天就应该续签了。
  • Easter eggs symbolize the renewal of life.复活蛋象征新生。
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