Waiter From Hell
文章来源:未知 文章作者:meng 发布时间:2009-09-30 06:52 字体: [ ]  进入论坛
(单词翻译:双击或拖选)

Remember when eating out was a relaxing experience? Someone else cooked for you, served you and cleaned up after you. All you had to do was chew, swallow and pay. No longer, though. Today you feel like a laboratory rat who has to struggle through a maze1 every time it wants a chunk2 of cheese.

“Good evening.” The waiter said. “ Table for four?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“Smoking or non?”
“Nonsmoking.”
“Would you prefer to dine indoors or outdoors this evening?”
“I guess indoors would be good.”

Then a young man better dressed and better looking than any of us presented himself at our table. “Good evening, my name is Paul, and I’ll be your waiter this evening. Would you like a few minutes before I take your order?”
“No,” I said, “I’m just a meat-and-potatoes guy, so I’ll have the filet3 mignon and baked potato.”

“Soup or salad?”
“Salad.”
“We have a mixed-green salad, hearts of palm or a very fine endive salad with baby shrimp4.”
“just a mixed-green salad, okay?”

“Whatever you say, sir. Dressing5?”
I didn’t want to make another decision. “Whatever you’ve got will be fine.”
“We have creamy Italian, blue cheese, vinaigrette, Thousand Island, honey Dijon, ranch…”
“Just bring me one. Surprise me.”

“Creamy Italian is our house specialty6. Would that be all right, sir?”
“Yeah.” I was curt7. I was done with civility.

“And your baked potato…”
I knew what was coming. “I just want the baked potato dry, you understand? I don’t want anything on it.”
“No butter? No sour cream?”
“No.”

“No, chives?”
“No! Don’t you understand English?” I shouted. “ I don’t want anything on it. Just bring me a baked potato and a steak.”

“Would you prefer the six-, eight- or 12-ounce steak, sir?”
“Whatever.”
“Would you like that rare, medium rare, medium, medium well or well done? or, if you prefer, we can butterfly it for you.”
“Pauly Boy,” I said, “you are really starting to get me steamed”

“Which brings up the vegetables, sir. Would you like steamed broccoli8, creamed corn, sauteed zucchini, diced9 carrots--”
That did it. I threw my napkin to the floor, stood up, put my face right in his arrogant10 kisser and said, “How’d you like to settle this outside?”

“Fine with me, sir. Would you prefer the parking lot, the side alley11 or the street in front of the restaurant?”
“I prefer right here,” I said, and sucker-punched him.

He ducked, then countered with a left hook right under my eye. It was the first time all night he hadn’t offered me a selection. I collapsed12 semiconscious into my chair, as someone in authority rushed over and berated13 Pauly.

When I regained14 my senses, I saw the very concerned waiter right in front of my nose. He apologized and offered to buy me a drink, call the parmesan—whatever I wanted.

“No, no,” I said. “I’ll be all right. Just bring me a glass of water.”
“Yes, sir, right away,” he said. “Would you prefer imported mineral water, sparkling water or club soda15 with a wedge of lime?”



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1 maze F76ze     
n.迷宫,八阵图,混乱,迷惑
参考例句:
  • He found his way through the complex maze of corridors.他穿过了迷宮一样的走廊。
  • She was lost in the maze for several hours.一连几小时,她的头脑处于一片糊涂状态。
2 chunk Kqwzz     
n.厚片,大块,相当大的部分(数量)
参考例句:
  • They had to be careful of floating chunks of ice.他们必须当心大块浮冰。
  • The company owns a chunk of farmland near Gatwick Airport.该公司拥有盖特威克机场周边的大片农田。
3 filet C7zyJ     
n.肉片;鱼片
参考例句:
  • They feasted us on filet mignon and strawberry shortcake.他们拿出鱼片和草莓松脆饼盛情款待我们。
  • You cannot make filet mignon out of chopped liver.你不能从品质差的肉制造品质高的肉。
4 shrimp krFyz     
n.虾,小虾;矮小的人
参考例句:
  • When the shrimp farm is built it will block the stream.一旦养虾场建起来,将会截断这条河流。
  • When it comes to seafood,I like shrimp the best.说到海鲜,我最喜欢虾。
5 dressing 1uOzJG     
n.(食物)调料;包扎伤口的用品,敷料
参考例句:
  • Don't spend such a lot of time in dressing yourself.别花那么多时间来打扮自己。
  • The children enjoy dressing up in mother's old clothes.孩子们喜欢穿上妈妈旧时的衣服玩。
6 specialty SrGy7     
n.(speciality)特性,特质;专业,专长
参考例句:
  • Shell carvings are a specialty of the town.贝雕是该城的特产。
  • His specialty is English literature.他的专业是英国文学。
7 curt omjyx     
adj.简短的,草率的
参考例句:
  • He gave me an extremely curt answer.他对我作了极为草率的答复。
  • He rapped out a series of curt commands.他大声发出了一连串简短的命令。
8 broccoli 1sbzm     
n.绿菜花,花椰菜
参考例句:
  • She grew all the broccoli plants from seed.这些花椰菜都是她用种子培育出来的。
  • They think broccoli is only green and cauliflower is only white.他们认为西兰花只有绿色的,而菜花都是白色的。
9 diced beda9457d9b1c57e8c3d1d301be6bcc2     
v.将…切成小方块,切成丁( dice的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • The meat should be finely diced for this dish. 做这种菜肴肉必须细细切成小方块。 来自辞典例句
  • Arther diced himself into debt. 亚瑟因掷骰子而负了债。 来自辞典例句
10 arrogant Jvwz5     
adj.傲慢的,自大的
参考例句:
  • You've got to get rid of your arrogant ways.你这骄傲劲儿得好好改改。
  • People are waking up that he is arrogant.人们开始认识到他很傲慢。
11 alley Cx2zK     
n.小巷,胡同;小径,小路
参考例句:
  • We live in the same alley.我们住在同一条小巷里。
  • The blind alley ended in a brick wall.这条死胡同的尽头是砖墙。
12 collapsed cwWzSG     
adj.倒塌的
参考例句:
  • Jack collapsed in agony on the floor. 杰克十分痛苦地瘫倒在地板上。
  • The roof collapsed under the weight of snow. 房顶在雪的重压下突然坍塌下来。
13 berated 7e0b3e1e519ba5108b59a723201d68e1     
v.严厉责备,痛斥( berate的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • Marion berated Joe for the noise he made. 玛丽昂严厉斥责乔吵吵闹闹。 来自辞典例句
  • It berated Mussolini for selling out to Berlin. 它严厉谴责了墨索里尼背叛、投靠柏林的行径。 来自辞典例句
14 regained 51ada49e953b830c8bd8fddd6bcd03aa     
复得( regain的过去式和过去分词 ); 赢回; 重回; 复至某地
参考例句:
  • The majority of the people in the world have regained their liberty. 世界上大多数人已重获自由。
  • She hesitated briefly but quickly regained her poise. 她犹豫片刻,但很快恢复了镇静。
15 soda cr3ye     
n.苏打水;汽水
参考例句:
  • She doesn't enjoy drinking chocolate soda.她不喜欢喝巧克力汽水。
  • I will freshen your drink with more soda and ice cubes.我给你的饮料重加一些苏打水和冰块。
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