Ever since I can remember I have been sensitive. So it should've been no surprise to me the events that would take place in my early twenties.
I am in the military and so, because of this, cannot identify specific locations since this particular incident took place on a military installation.
I was 21, fresh out of boot camp and well into my final stages of technical training. I was training to be an avionics specialist, a primarily male-dominated field of maintenance and therefore I was always on guard trying to be the best and not be any less than that. So I was naturally distracted by my goals and not in touch with my normal sense of intuition.
We had just been assigned a class on the midnight shift when it started happening. At first I chalked it up to nerves and my body trying to adjust itself to sleeping during the day and going to school at night. About two weeks in I was finally
acclimated2 and comfortable. Well, not exactly comfortable. You see, the base we were at was an older one as most Air Force bases usually are. But our schoolhouse was in what used to be the old training hospital during WWII, the Korean War, and then Vietnam. It wasn't until those two weeks of adaptation had passed that one of my guys made the observation that the building was shaped like an H.
It made sense. The floors were all concrete
linoleum3 and instead of stairs in the building there were two gurney
ramps5 per floor, at 180 degree angles from each other that traversed you through the levels. It was not until one night, we were doing our clean up details (the military saves money on
janitorial6 services by farming out its students to
indentured7 servitude) that I got curious. I wanted to see what was on the top floor. From the outside it looked like there were three stories, not including the basement where our break room was located. So I, with my push broom in hand, climbed the ramps. I asked if anyone wanted to go with me. No one wanted to join me, so after resoundingly calling them all a pack of wises I ventured off solo.
I climbed seven floors. I counted. They all looked the same. I figured this was
weird8 but was not too bothered by it. I stared up the next
ramp4 into black abyss and
decided9 that I should get back, for all I knew this could go on forever. I came back down to find my classmates staring at me. I looked at all six faces in puzzlement. Finally, my best friend, Lance, said, "Berk, why didn't you answer us? Where did you go?" I answered that I just kept following the ramps but I could never find the top, which I found weird, why do you ask? They all chimed in that they had called me numerous times and even ventured up a couple ramps but couldn't find me. I never heard them. No one believed me and just thought I was trying to be funny. I found it all a bit unsettling, but quickly became immersed in other things.
It was after these two weeks had past that I was awake enough to notice things. It's odd, when I am tired but not totally downtrodden is when I am my most sensitive. Like a
primal10 survival instinct moves to the forefront of my mind, or something. I started to feel uncomfortable in the bathroom. My eyes would always be
drawn11 to the 2 x 2 foot air
vent1 on the wall where it met the ceiling and went on through the
labyrinth12 of the building. I always felt like if I looked up quickly enough, I would see a pair of red eyes or whatever it was that was watching me. I never saw anything but felt that there was something there, just out of sight in the gloom, breathing and watching.
One night I went to the latrine while everyone went down to the basement break room. I came out, hurrying as usual, and proceeded down the ramps. When I got to the first floor I stopped. This was the floor that we had our original class room. We called it the meat
locker13 because no matter how hot it was outside or even in the hallway; you could almost see your breath as soon as you crossed the threshold.
I focused in on what had caught my attention. It was a
flickering14 florescent light at the end of the hall by the exit door that led out to the enclosed external stairwell. I didn't think much of it till it went out completely. As I was about to walk away, it came back on as the light in front of it
flicked15 off. It did this in rapid succession down the hall towards me, faster and faster. The truly terrifying part was not the lights but the
racing16 shadow it created on the floor. It was as if an impenetrable black mass was charging me at
ramming17 speed. Filled with
inexplicable18 horror and certainty that this was the same
ominous19 thing in the bathroom, I turned on my heels and started down the ramp only to be shoved, hard, by something. I tumbled all the way down and somehow managed to roll into a
crouching21 position, sprang to my feet and kept running till I hit the bottom ramp. Whereby I collected myself enough to catch my breath and walk the rest of the way down. In passing the two big shut doors adjacent to the last ramp I had another weird feeling of certainty and
realization22: this was a hospital (we already know that.) This basement used to be the morgue. The first level with the meat locker classroom was the operating wing that would explain the red linoleum
versus23 the equally
aged20 brown stuff on the subsequent floors; for all the blood spillage during surgeries. You know there were a lot of deaths here; it was a training hospital during war time.#p#分页标题#e#
In the following weeks I saw many things that would've normally unnerved me a bit. I saw more ghosts than I can count. More than I ever did in childhood. In some ways it was comforting knowing that I still had this sensitivity but sad to know that I will always know way more than I ever wanted to. I saw nurses and doctors mostly. Irritatingly enough, it was usually when I was alone, not that I wanted to share it with anyone. I wouldn't want them to think I was
buckling24 under the pressure.
The only time I was ever scared was on the first floor with the red linoleum. About a week before we were due to graduate I found myself alone on this floor. I always got cold and anxious there. Finally, I saw him. It was strange. I felt the animosity, believe me it was almost overpowering, but it was like being in the eye of a raging storm. He was in a green army air
corps25 uniform. Handsome. Angry. Dead. I don't know why he chose me as the focal point of his anger. I still don't. But I know that I will never forget that moment. It was as if time stood still. In that instance he just stared holes into me. I don't know if it was to show me that he could have done something more but chose to show
benevolence26 or if he saw something strong in me, like one
warrior27 sizing up another.
We graduated shortly thereafter. As we were marching home, I turned to look at the schoolhouse. And who should I see, but my soldier in the first floor window. Just staring. I haven't thought too much about him since then, but I'm sure we'll meet again when I go back to be an
instructor28.
从我记事起我就很敏感,因此我对20岁刚出头的时候发生在我身上的那些事情并不感到奇怪。
我在军队供职,而我要讲的这件事就发生在某个军事基地,所以我不能把它的确切地点告诉你们。
我当时21岁,刚从新兵训练营出来,正在进行最后阶段的专业训练。我会被训练成一名航空电子专家,这是一个主要由男性统治的维护领域,所以我立志要成为最优秀的,我被自己的雄心壮志搞得心烦意乱,根本无暇顾及自己的直觉。
事情发生的时候,我们刚刚被分配在夜班时间上一节课。刚开始,我努力调整自己的神经和身体,以便能在白天睡觉而晚上去上课。大约两周后,我终于开始逐渐适应并开始觉得舒服了。当然,不是完全的舒服。要知道,我们所在的基地和大多数空军基地一样,都是很旧的。而我们的校舍原本是二战、朝鲜战争、越战时期的实习医院,直到我们两周的适应期过完后,我们当中的一个人才发现校舍的形状像个“H”。
这是可以说得通的。校舍都是水泥地面,上面铺着油毡,里面没有楼梯,取而代之,每一层都有两个斜坡,便于轮床上下,两个斜坡互成180度的角。有一天我们在做大扫除时(军队都是通过让学员做苦工来节省请勤杂工人的费用),我开始觉得好奇。我想看看顶楼上有什么。从外面看,整个建筑共有三层,不包括我们的休息室所在的地下室。所以我手拿扫帚,爬上斜坡。我问其他人愿不原意和我一起去,可没人愿意。于是,成功地得到他们出的各种各样的点子后,我便独自去探险了。
我心数着,我一共爬了七层,每一层看起来都一模一样。我虽然觉得这有点怪,但也没太在意。我抬头看看下一个斜坡,只看见黑洞洞的一片,所以我就打算返回了,因为我知道这将永无止境。我回到楼下,同学们都盯着我看,我疑惑得看着他们六个人。最后,我最好的朋友兰斯问我:“伯克,你怎么不回答我们?你去哪了?”我告诉他们我一直沿着斜坡走,但却怎么也找不到顶楼,我觉得这有点诡异。我问他们为什么要问这个。他们插话说他们喊了我无数遍,甚至还上过几个斜坡,但没找到我。我根本没听到他们的喊声。没人相信我,他们都觉得我在开玩笑。我开始觉得有点不安,但很快就被其他事情转移了注意力。
那两周过完后,我开始注意到一些奇怪的事情。很奇怪,我虽然很累但我的直觉还没有完全丧失。我残存的直觉开始涌入头脑。每次进浴室我都会觉得不舒服。我不由自主会注意到墙上那个紧挨着房顶的2×2英尺大的气孔,那气孔通向这个如迷宫般的建筑的各个地方。我总觉得如果我抬头足够快的话,就会看到一双红色的眼睛或是别的什么东西在看着我。其实我从没看见过什么,但我总感觉在暗处有什么东西,喘着气,看着我。
一天晚上,我去上厕所,其他人都去了地下休息室。我从厕所里出来,像平时一样急急得走下斜坡。当我走到第一层时,我停住了。我们的教室原来就在这一层,我们都叫它冷柜因为不管外面或是走廊上天气有多热,只要你一跨进门槛,就能看到自己呼出的水汽。
我看着刚刚吸引我视线的东西。那是在大厅尽头的出口处的一盏忽亮忽灭的灯,出口是通往外面的楼梯的。我没想太多,直到那灯完全熄灭。但正当我要离开的时候,那灯又亮了,而它前面的那盏灯则熄灭,就这样,大厅里的灯这盏亮那盏灭的一直快速重复着,速度越来越快,朝着我的方向延伸过来。真正吓人的不是那些灯,而是灯忽明忽灭在地上产生的那些像是奔跑着的黑影。看起来就像是一个难以穿透的黑物正飞快得向我冲过来。怀着无以言表的恐惧,我确信这一定是浴室里的那个邪恶的东西在作祟,我拔腿向斜坡下跑去,却被什么东西狠狠得撞了一下。我跌倒并沿着斜坡向下滚去,中途我顺利得转换成蹲伏的姿势,我赶紧跳起来,继续沿着斜坡向下跑去,直到跑到最底层的那个斜坡。我屏住呼吸向下走去,当走过与这个斜坡紧挨着的那两扇门时,我又有了诡异的感觉:这儿原来是家医院(这我们已经知道了),这地下室以前是个停尸房。冷柜那一层原来是做手术的地方,这就能充分解释红色油毡和它下边那几层的陈旧的褐色东西的来历了,那些褐色的东西是在手术过程中流的血。你知道这儿以前是战时实习医院,这儿死过很多人。#p#分页标题#e#
接下来的几周我见到了更多若在平时准能让我不安的东西。我见过数不清的鬼魂,比我童年时见过的还多。一方面,我很欣慰的知道我依然还有儿时的敏感。另一方面,我得面对自己不愿见到的东西。我最常见到的是医生和护士们。让人气愤地是,我见着这些鬼魂的时候通常都是单独一个人的时候,我倒也不想告诉任何人这些事,我不想让他们觉得我是屈服于他们的压力了。
我唯一一次感到害怕是在铺着红色油毡的一楼。我们毕业前一周的一天,我独自呆在这层楼里,在那我总感到寒冷焦虑。最后,我看到了他。真是很奇怪。我感觉到从他身上传来的很强烈的愤怒感,相信我,那种愤怒的感觉都快将我吞噬了,就像处在暴风雨的中心似的。他穿着绿色的空军制服,帅气但愤怒。我不明白他为什么选择我做他怒气的宣泄中心。到现在也不明白。但我知道我永远不会忘记那一刻。时间仿佛静止了一般,那一刻他只是死盯着我。我不知道他是不是要向我证明他本可以做更多的事情,却选择只向我致意还是他也看到了我的坚强,开始对我惺惺相惜。
那之后不久我们就毕业了。当我们向家进发的时候,我转过头看着校舍,唯一看见的就是站在一楼窗口的那个士兵,目送着我的离去。从此我就再没想过他,但我相信将来等我回去当讲师的时候,我们还会再见面的。