MEN'S ENGLISH

I'm hungry = I'm hungry.

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.

I'm tired = I'm tired.

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!

You look tense, let me give you a massage¹ = I want to fondle you.

What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.

What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma² are you going through now?

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

I love you = Let's have sex now.

I love you, too = Okay, I said it, we'd better have sex now!

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before.

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep.

person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

(while shopping) I like that one better = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I am gay.