老外的雅思9分例文又一力作
文章来源: 文章作者: 发布时间:2007-12-01 07:36 字体: [ ]  进入论坛
(单词翻译:双击或拖选)

下面这篇在2004年考过两次,内容比较难写,很多考生都构思不出内容,因此,我请我的美国朋友按照雅思作文的套路写了篇范文,大家可以学习一下里面的语言和内容。

Unlike most countries, the police in the United Kingdom do not normally carry guns. Some people think it leaves the citizens unprotected, while others believe that this practice reduces the overall violence in society. Discuss both views and use your own experience and evidence.

Unlike most countries, the police in the United Kingdom do not normally carry guns.  Some people think it leaves citizens unprotected, while others believe that this practi c e reduces the overall violence in society.  Police having guns however is an issue secondary to criminals having guns. (45words)

结构分析: 2+ 1 ’ 模式,最后一句为主题句,明确地表达了自己的观点。但是,前两句的问题很严重,即照抄了题目。(这可能是我和老外没有沟通好,在他所写的所有例文中都出现了类似的情况,大家千万不要学!!!)

Because criminals usually have access to guns, police officers need them in order to control crime.  If police in the U.K. are able to go without guns and not have crime getting completely out of control then they have already set a fine example that other countries should follow.  The fact that they are able to do this is an indication of their ability to control the flow of guns to the general populace and this makes citizens safer than anything else.  To a civilian1, taking guns away from criminals is more important than giving them to police. (98words)

For places that are not able to, or are unwilling2 to control this availability of guns to criminals, police have no choice.   Countries with weak or ineffective gun laws, or countries bordering such countries, like Mexico which has strong gun laws, but virtually no way to prevent them from being smuggled3 over the border from the U.S., need a police force that is not only armed, but is armed better than the criminals.  This ‘domestic arms race’ is the fate of any country that does not realize that civilians4 have no need of being armed and should have no access to weapons whatsoever5.(103words)

The root of the problem is embarrassingly corrupt6 governments and ineffective half-measures taken to control the circulation of guns, which allows criminals to easily come into possession of guns. Nations around the world should hope to someday reach the point where their police force can afford not to carry guns and still be effective.  (54words)

文章后几段结构比较清晰,未加点评,红色部分为段落主题句。

 



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1 civilian uqbzl     
adj.平民的,民用的,民众的
参考例句:
  • There is no reliable information about civilian casualties.关于平民的伤亡还没有确凿的信息。
  • He resigned his commission to take up a civilian job.他辞去军职而从事平民工作。
2 unwilling CjpwB     
adj.不情愿的
参考例句:
  • The natives were unwilling to be bent by colonial power.土著居民不愿受殖民势力的摆布。
  • His tightfisted employer was unwilling to give him a raise.他那吝啬的雇主不肯给他加薪。
3 smuggled 3cb7c6ce5d6ead3b1e56eeccdabf595b     
水货
参考例句:
  • The customs officer confiscated the smuggled goods. 海关官员没收了走私品。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • Those smuggled goods have been detained by the port office. 那些走私货物被港务局扣押了。 来自互联网
4 civilians 2a8bdc87d05da507ff4534c9c974b785     
平民,百姓( civilian的名词复数 ); 老百姓
参考例句:
  • the bloody massacre of innocent civilians 对无辜平民的血腥屠杀
  • At least 300 civilians are unaccounted for after the bombing raids. 遭轰炸袭击之后,至少有300名平民下落不明。
5 whatsoever Beqz8i     
adv.(用于否定句中以加强语气)任何;pron.无论什么
参考例句:
  • There's no reason whatsoever to turn down this suggestion.没有任何理由拒绝这个建议。
  • All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you,do ye even so to them.你想别人对你怎样,你就怎样对人。
6 corrupt 4zTxn     
v.贿赂,收买;adj.腐败的,贪污的
参考例句:
  • The newspaper alleged the mayor's corrupt practices.那家报纸断言市长有舞弊行为。
  • This judge is corrupt.这个法官贪污。
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