Anyone can stand by you when you are right, but a friend will stand by you when you are wrong.

A simple friend identifies himself when he calls.
A real friend doesn’t have to.

A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin¹ on his life.
A real friend says, “what’s new with you?”

A simple friend thinks the problems you whine² about are recent.
A real friend says, “you’ve been whining³ about the same thing for years, get off your duff and do something about it.”

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn’t know our parents’ first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic⁴ history.
A real friend could blackmail⁵ you with it.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it’s not friendship until after you’ve had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for him.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

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